Tuesday, January 26, 2010
E and I were just discussing last night about how I is sort of a needy baby. Fussy isn't the right term, since if you meet his needs he doesn't cry. But, it just seems like he has a lot of needs. Well, one major one really. He loves to be held.
The thing is, I love holding him. Most of the time. Sure, I would rather not hold him when I pee. I'd probably rather not get spaghetti in his hair when I eat (okay, so his little whispers of hair...) But, overall, I do love to snuggle with this boy.
Snuggling, though, makes other things impossible. Typing for instance. Or blogging.
Rest assured, I'm still reading blogs. That's one thing I can do one handed.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Just a quick baby I update. We went to the GI on Wednesday afternoon. I weighed 9lbs 13 oz (50%) and was 22 inches long (75%). So, hurdle one has been crossed. He's gaining weight!
Hurdle two was an ultrasound we had done to check for pyloric stenosis. The GI wasn't too concerned that baby I had this, but because he's been projectile vomiting, they needed to rule it all out.
Hurdle three- waiting another week to see how the new medication works. We will not see the full benefits (IF we see any) until the 2 week mark. At that point, we'll make a decision on whether or not to up his medication, go on a completely dairy free diet, or do something else entirely.
Hurdle four- waiting out the choking episodes. There's really nothing that can be done about this, unfortunately. It sucks. Since the whole SIDS thing is a BIG concern, we really can't put I on his tummy. Especially since reflux babies are actually more prone to SIDS as it is. But, that also makes him choke on his spit up/vomit. Fun times, indeed. Luckily, we do have a positioner that allows us to put him on his side (so he doesn't roll onto his tummy) that makes me feel a tad better about things. At least the milk can roll out a bit.
our thoughts: we're going to try to wait another week, see what happens with the meds, then probably cut out my dairy if the meds aren't working. E and I aren't crazy about upping his medication at this point, so we'll try the dairy free route. I'm already raw dairy free, (things like milk, cream, etc.) but haven't cut out dairy in things like crackers or breads. I'm also starting to wonder if his pulling off at the breast during feedings isn't due to an over-active let down. I'm starting to notice some things that line up with that...
Anyway, E is home, I is fussing, so I have to go! I'll leave you with this video I messed around with in photoshop today. I love this song. :)
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
15 In Ramah a voice is heard, crying and weeping loudly. Rachel mourns for her children and refuses to be comforted, because they are dead.16 But I, the Lord, say to dry your tears. Someday your children will come home from the enemy’s land. Then all you have done for them will be greatly rewarded.17 So don’t lose hope. I, the Lord, have spoken.
Today, in my bible study, we talked about our plans for our lives 10 (or 5 years ago in my case, since 10 years ago puts me as a senior in high school) years ago. What did we think we'd be doing today? I've blogged before about how I thought our family would be complete well before I turned 30. While that could still happen, E and I have come to the conclusion that we will probably be over 30 before we are finished having children. (well, he should be for sure, since he turns 30 on I's 1st birthday!)
After we discussed our plans, one of the mentor women asked how we were changed from our experiences that led us down different life paths. I, for one, talked a little about being able to be a testimony and a compassionate ear for people going through what I went through, (for even those who only go through it once).
How my perspective would be different had we not lost our children. Would I have the same compassion? Would I cry out in prayer for those who have lost such precious life?
My personal answer is: probably not. There's a sense of compassion that only experience can give us.
Almost exactly one year ago, (tomorrow, actually) I found out I was pregnant with baby number 8. We were hopeful that *this* baby would be the one to make it since we were under constant medical care and were trying new things (lovenox). but, almost one year ago next week, we lost that baby. A year seems like an eternity ago when I think of the pit of grief I was in, yet in some ways it seems like only yesterday.
When I talk and think about my miscarriages, it seems I miss my babies no less today then I did 12 mths ago. I think of them less often, but the grief of losing our children is still on the surface, ready to be prodded, ready to be shared with another who is hurting and feeling so alone.
If I can only make a difference in one hurting woman's life, then use me Lord. Let me be a tool to help dry the tears.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Baby I had several coughing/choking episodes last night, so I called the GI dr. this morning. I asked if there was any way to get in sooner than 3 weeks from now. She said that we can see the other dr. in the practice on Wednesday, but we wouldn't be able to switch him back to the dr. my other kids saw if we went that route.
Sure, we loved the other dr. But, honestly, this time its more important for him to get in sooner rather than later. I just don't think my nerves can take 3 more weeks of this.
So, Wednesday it is!
(and, on a complete side note, I think its funny how many yellow words pop up with spell check when you type one handed with a baby in the other...)
Thursday, January 14, 2010
we are currently trying to figure out what is going on with baby I. I'm currently typing with one hand,(baby in the other) so I'll be brief.
Right now, I has been:
pulling off constantly while he nurses
Last night, during one of his coughing/choking spells, he about took 5 years off of my life. E called the pediatrician today and we are trying to get a referral to the pediatric GI.
anyway, come out and say "hi" lurkers and non-lurkers alike!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
O: Let's play doctor.
A: no! let's play prescription man.
A: I'll be the prescription man, and you give me your money.
hmmmm.... maybe, just maybe, we've been to the pharmacy a few too many times these past weeks.
Monday, January 11, 2010
It amazing how fast they grow and change. I has been staying awake for longer periods of time, so much so that sometimes its hard to get him back to sleep. He, over a period of a week, outgrew almost all of his newborn outfits. (It seemed like he outgrew them, literally, over night! I bought him a new outfit on Monday, that fit great! Today, one week later, I can't button it up at the crotch because he's too long!) He's started holding his head up really well during tummy time, even!
As we watch him grow, E and I can't help but find ourselves talking about "the next one". Baby, that is. I know some people probably think we're crazy for thinking about having another when this one is only 4 weeks old. We probably are. Of course, we're talking like a few years from now. Not months (sorry. no plans to follow the O and A sibling time period!) but later down the road.
It has occurred to me, however, that we may never get over wanting another. At least, that's how it seems to me now. I can't imagine never holding my sweet newborn in my arms, or cuddling with my almost-one-month old baby. It makes me sad to think that some day I'll be too old to have babies, or we'll outgrow our house, and eventually we WILL have to stop having them.
I have friends who are done having children who can say, with out a doubt, "we're done!" Will we ever get to that place where we feel our family is complete? Is there a magic number of children that will stop the yearning for more babies?