A journey through loss

A definition of "gifted"

2012-02-15T16:07:00.000-06:00

I'm curious what other people think of this. What would you consider gifted?

For instance, what grade levels of math, reading, etc. would you expect a "gifted" 1st grader to be doing?

I am finding that my definition and the definition of others aren't matching up. I'll explain more after I read your responses.

My baby model

2012-02-11T07:02:00.001-06:00

I just have to share a picture from Eliza's modeling session yesterday. My friend, Jen, is a photographer/crafter extraordinaire. She makes all kinds of cute crochet beauties and amazing headbands. (She's the one I got Eliza's Christmas hat from, among other things.)

So, here is Miss Cuteness:

I could just munch on those cheeks (well, if they didn't smell like rancid spit up. its a good thing you can't smell through pictures.)

I have a confession(s)

2012-02-08T12:45:00.000-06:00

CONFESSION 1:
I peed on a stick today. (I know, I know. But, I had my first post baby cycle when Eliza was only 12 weeks old, and haven't had another.) It was strange. I actually wanted it to be negative. I don't think I've ever felt quite like this while looking at a pee stick.

Maybe I'm coming to grips with this being our last baby. Of course, there's the logistics of Eliza only being 3 months old. That could have a lot to do with it. So, maybe its not grips I'm coming to, but the sanity that I'm trying to grip onto.

CONFESSION 2:
It took me 4 weeks to lose 3 lbs. Yet, only 2 days of dairy free brownies to gain it back. I secretly am jealous of my husband who can lose that over night. Or he "cuts out extra snacks" as in, eating one less cooking then he normally would, and loses that weight. Sheesh.

CONFESSION 3:
I've actually worked up the courage to participate in some heated debates on facebook/in person. I was typing my view with fervency and spouting off facts to my adversaries. Wait. Nope. That WASN'T me. But, I did read some and get pretty angry and shake my fist into the air, yelling "Arg!" whilst telling E what I'd LIKE to say that I clearly did not.

CONFESSION 4:
I want Eliza to suck her fingers. Or thumb. She is still not a lover of her pacifier. Screw not stopping until she's 6 and needs braces when she's 12. All kids need braces these days. Plus, I think she's a doll when she does this.

Eliza's VCUG

2012-02-06T16:02:00.000-06:00

Thanks for all of the prayers and well wishes. It went so well! Not only did she do great (she was the life of the radiology department that day) she didn't show any signs of kidney reflux!

Here she is in her hospital gown.

She didn't even cry when they inserted the catheter! Amazing little girl! (It was sort of funny because she DID cry during her renal u/s at the urologist's office. Which, clearly, didn't hurt. She was just plain mad.)

We still have to watch out for unexplained high fevers, but we're sort of professionals at fever watch. :)

Vesicoureteral Reflux testing for E.C.

2012-02-02T08:14:00.000-06:00

Miss Eliz Claire will be undergoing her VCUG today to test for Vesicoureteral Reflux, (aka Kidney Reflux). She'll have to have a catheter placed into her bladder and we'll watch it on an x-ray to see if it goes into the kidneys or out like its supposed to.

I don't think she's going to like it.

This is really all O's fault. Okay, not really. Its likely my fault for passing on lousy genetics. But, since O had such a severe grade of reflux, all of the kids have to get tested. The boys were lucky, and got to start with just a simple renal u/s to check for kidney damage. (A did have to have the VCUG done since one of his kidneys was larger than the other. That's a common thing in a lot of people, but also a symptom in kidney reflux kids.) With boys, it often isn't as much of a serious problem as it is for little girls. Even if a boy has grade II reflux, he may never have an actual infection. Its anatomy (again, a win for the girls, right?!?)

The odds of Eliza having it are 1 in 3. I know statistics don't work this way, but I feel like she's screwed since her brothers don't have it (they'd be the 2 in 3) and that leaves the remaining 1 in 3 to her to make up. I keep trying to tell myself that she's got a 66% chance that she DOESN'T have it. That's pretty good odds. :)

I don't know why I get so worked up over this testing. Not that any one wants their baby to have a birth defect, but if you had to have one, this would be the one to have. (Mild reflux is easily treatable and most kids out grow it. ) But, I'm still praying complete health over my sweet baby.

I'll let you all know what they say today. Our appointment is at 12 cst, then her actual vcug is at 12:30, with an appointment with the urologist at 2 p.m. (Thank goodness E could come stay home with Isaac, the I-am-two-hear-me-roar boy.) We will have immediate results from her testing today.

monkey pajamas in the rain

2012-02-01T09:03:00.000-06:00

My older kids take the bus to school almost every day. Even when it rains. Today, unfortunately, it was raining. Isaac has to come with us on the mornings that he is awake (really, this is almost every morning). The last few mornings, I let him just wear his footed pajamas with no shoes to the bus stop. (He walked on the side walk there, and its only a few houses down.)

Well, today he wanted to attempt to head to the bus in the same manner- footed jammies with no shoes. Obviously, we, as adults, know how that would've turned out. Soggy, wet, dirty jammies. Those jammies just aren't made for the rain. So, O came up with a quick compromise between jammied feet and shoes- Isaac's rain boots!

Tada! He's all prepared.

When some one asks me how it is going with 4 kids, I almost always tell them "its great!" It is. Really, it is. I wouldn't even think ~~for long~~ about trading in one of my kids, and I love having a larger family. But sometimes, sometimes I feel so unprepared/under qualified for the very large task of running a home with 6 people.

Its not the people themselves. Its the chores that come with 6 people. Its the laundry that has to be done all.of.the.time because I not only have a family of 6, I have an overly spitty baby who is an incredibly big DIVA who requires several outfits each day (not to mention the ones that E and I require from just holding her. E changed outfits twice on Monday after holding little E for only 15 minutes.) Its the dishwasher that has to be run every day, the trash that has to be taken out every day, the toilets that need cleaning every day, the mopping that needs to be done, you guessed it, every day!

Its not surprising that sometimes I feel like I'm in over my head a little bit. That I'm not quite equipped for the job of running this house. Like maybe I'm wearing footed pajamas to the bus stop in the rain.

I wanted to end this post with a comment about how God is my rain boots, he helps me be prepared. He is and he does. But, with out all of the fluff, I want you all to know that even happy-love-my-big-family-mommas get overwhelmed with stuff. Even happy-i-love-to-do-all-sorts-of-craft mommas get too much on their plates. And, sometimes, its my own dang fault if I end up with soggy pajama feet.

We're still alive

2012-01-27T07:29:00.000-06:00

We're alive and, mostly, well. We've actually been home a lot, (for me! I hate not leaving the house at least once a day.) But, I've been busy playing doctor, nurse, seamstress, and now I'm also learning to crochet (I know. I know. I totally DON'T need another hobby. But, I couldn't resist!) A's back in school after his tonsillectomy last week, so I spent most of yesterday working on a quilt for O's birthday. (which, was a disaster. after ripping the thread the entire width of the quilt OVER 5 times, I set it aside and quit for the day.)

Eliza is also sick, so I don't see us leaving our hidey hole any time soon. She started with a runny nose yesterday, and was coughing quite a bit in the night. I'm just praying its not that stinking RSV that seems to be going around here.

Oh, in Eliza news, she's found her fingers! The last 3 days, she has been sucking her first two fingers (just like Zeke!) non-stop. Its a little annoying right now, when she knocks out her pacifier at nap time, since she's not proficient enough to use them to self-soothe. But, I'm thinking that's around the corner for her.

Now she needs to work on not gagging herself with those and we'll be all set.

Operation "Tonsil Removal": Success!

2012-01-18T10:05:00.000-06:00

I can't remember if I told you all that A had a sleep study done in December to test for sleep apnea. Well, he stopped breathing 7 times in the 5.5 hours he was asleep.

Treatment for sleep apnea in little guys is a tonsillectomy. It cures something like 80% of kids.

We've been talking it up a lot. You get to eat popsicles, have ice cream, play games, watch cartoons, etc. He and O actually got into an argument over it because she was jealous of all the "lucky stuff" he got to do and eat.

Monday was surgery day. He was actually pretty excited.

getting his gown on

enjoying his heated blanket

A really fun "mask doctor" came by to explain to A how he was going to go to sleep.

He did so well! He was in surgery for 30 minutes, then E got to go back into the recovery room with him. By the time E got back there, A was already awake, eating a popsicle, and talking to the nurse about the DS games our neighbor brought over for him to use.

Maybe 15 minutes after E went in, they transferred A up to the pediatric floor in the PACU hall. That's where we hung out for the rest of the day. He got several bags of fluid, lots of popsicles and juice, and was even feeling good enough to eat mashed potatoes for dinner.

Playing the DS

The first day home, yesterday, was pretty easy, too. He was in good spirits, except for around medicine time. Today, well, today hasn't been so great. He's feeling pretty icky. :(

We're really praying that this surgery helps cure a lot of his sleep apnea related issues and that's he's back to his "normal" self soon.

Hmmm... candy candles

2012-01-13T07:58:00.000-06:00

I, like most people, am currently in a heated love affair with pinterest. Most of the things I make work out great. Some, well, some don't come with the disclaimer "not appropriate for homes with 2 year olds". But, really, I should know by now that 2 year olds love candy.

I saw this on pinterest and loved it.

So, I went to the store, bought the supplies, and assembled my candle/jar with pretty conversation hearts and set it on the table.

It looked lovely.

About two hours after I set it out, I saw Isaac had something in his hand and stuffed in his little chipmunk cheeks.

Conversation hearts.

"See mommy! Want some candy?"

"What's in your hand?"

"Candy. Here."

Needless to say, the candle/candy combo was kind of a miss in our house. Well, a miss if you ask me. A "totally awesome" if you ask Zeke.

Pintrest FAILED me! gasp! (a small tutorial)

2012-01-05T08:39:00.000-06:00

I have been wanting to make Eliza a headrest for her car seat that would not interfere with the safety of her seat. (Technically, anything, after market, that goes between the baby and the car seat could be a potential safety hazard.) Yesterday, I had a few hours free, while Isaac was in MMO, set aside to tackle this project.
Except, well, I couldn't find a tutorial for what I wanted. In fact, I couldn't find ANYTHING that didn't include that back part of the headrest that goes behind the baby! I scoured Pintrest for ~~hours~~ a while, hoping to find something that would give me the faintest idea on what to do, where to start, etc.

Nothing. I didn't think it was possible. But, Pintrest failed me!

So, I decided to get to work myself. I took my old headrest, and did some funky measuring with my handy dandy measuring tape. From that, I enlarged the measurements a bit to make room 1. for my seam allowance and 2. I wanted Eliza to be able to grow into it.

Here's what you need if you're following along.

1 piece of minky, or other equally soft and luxurious fabric, measuring 21" x 10" (Our car seat is a big one, that goes up to 30 lbs. if you have a smaller one, I'd probably only do 19 inches in length.)
Coordinating thread, (or neutral color if you're lazy like me and don't want to swap it out. it doesn't really show on the minky)
stuffing (I used some of the insides of an old pillow that I was going to through out anyway.)
scissors
an absurdly cute baby to model finished product

First, take your minky fabric and measure the length and mark with chalk (or a pen.)

Then, measure and mark your width.

Take your sharp scissors and cut your fabric. (If you're using minky, like me, hold the fabric kind of tight. Minky is slippery.)

Next, fold your fabric, like a hot dog, right sides together. (bumps on the inside. ;) )

Now sew the edges together, being sure to leave a small opening somewhere. I left my opening right in the middle of the longest side, since the seam will be pretty much hidden when the headrest is in use. (I normally re-enforce the front and back of the opening so that it doesn't come apart when I'm turning the fabric inside out or stuffing it.)

As a quick side note, I never pin minky. I've tried and tried, but it always works out better for me if I just go with the flow of the minky. When I try to pin it down, I always end up with a crinkly/wrinkly spot somewhere.

I failed to take pictures for the next few steps. Sorry!

*trim any excess fabric

*Take your tube-like fabric and turn it right-side in. You can use the eraser end of a pencil (if its sharpened) to help you get into those corners.

*Next up, the fun part! Stuffing! Take your stuffing and push it through your opening, taking care to get it in each of the corners. Stuff as little or as much as you'd like.

*Hand stitch the opening closed.

Wah-lah! You have a safe car seat headrest!

Cue the cute baby:

I think she likes it.

if you like cute baby pictures, this is a post for you

2012-01-04T08:47:00.000-06:00

Sorry I've been scarce lately. We traveled to Michigan for Christmas, and since we got back I've been soaking up some major Eliza-ness while I can.

Yum yum!

This girl won't stay on her tummy for more than 5 seconds.

So much for "tummy time".

I love her hair in this one.

One of my favorites!

She cracks me up. She gets this crazy-eye look a lot.

Peek-a-boo

Can't leave these guys out!

Crazy kids!

holiday version of a random list

2011-12-24T07:29:00.000-06:00

I'll start the list out right, on a very lovely note: Eliza slept through the night last night! Can I get a "Woot! Woot!" (I'd love to say I'm well rested, but, come on. I have 4 kids. One of them is bound to wake up while on vacation.)
It seems like O almost always has an asthma attack while we are visiting my parents. If I count back, she's been on steroids the last 6 visits with my family. (most of those are when we were visiting Michigan, two of them were when we went to Florida.)
Poor O has had 1.5 weeks of various steroids in her body. First with her rescue inhaler for several days, then the nebulizer, then an oral steroid AND the nebulizer.
I have introduced E to the world of Swamp People. That show just makes me laugh a little bit. (while at the same time hiding in a corner since I have a weird fear of Alligators.)
E and I went to Greek Town in downtown Detroit last night with some friends from college (E's old roommates.) We left the older 3 kids at home with my parents. It was SO fun! The place had a lot of dairy free options for me to eat (which was wonderful) and we had a wonderful time visiting.
Speaking of yesterday, I had two wonderful people come visit me during the day at my parents house. The first was my beautiful cousin, that I've blogged about before, and her baby girl. We surprisingly didn't get along very well as small kids, but we've grown to love each other as adults. I SO wish she was closer so we could hang out more. The second person was one of my college roommates, and a childhood friend. It was so great to catch up. Facebook is good at keeping some of the major details up to date, but there are some things that are just better learned in person.
I'm dreading Christmas a little. I actually LOVE Christmas. It is one of my favorite holidays. But, it is on Sunday, and we leave on Tuesday morning. It just makes me a little bit sad to think about leaving already.
I haven't run a single time since we've been here. I forgot my cold weather running clothes and I'm not about to brave 38 degrees in shorts and a t shirt.
My momma is making pancakes for me so I'm outie. :)

2 months

2011-12-19T08:02:00.002-06:00

Pride Cometh before the fall defiance

2011-12-16T17:16:00.001-06:00

The other day Isaac, Eliza, and I were leaving the library. Our library has a drive through drop off directly in front of the doors of the library itself. When I opened the door to walk out, Isaac bolted out, running right towards the road and drive through.

Sure he was going to run into the road, I yelled "Freeze!"

Isaac stopped instantly.

I was amazed. And, if I'm being completely honest, a little proud of myself. I, some how, managed to get a child to actually STOP when I meant it. Go me.

That's when it happened. Isaac, still standing in the same spot, turned slightly to look at me. He had his two fingers in his mouth and a mischievous smile on his face. With the same grin, and looking right.into.my.eyes. he slowly put his right foot, tip toe first, into the road.

In case you were keeping track,
Score:
Isaac-1
Mommy-0

Go me.

Zeke

2011-12-15T07:30:00.001-06:00

Isaac is TWO!

2011-12-14T20:54:00.001-06:00

Isaac,

I am writing this the day before your second birthday. Today reminded me so much of the same day two years ago. The weather was so similar, (warm, breezy, sunny) and as we all took a walk, I couldn't help but remember the walk I took when that day when I was in labor with you. I talked with you on that day, telling you to come out and join us.

I can remember your birth so vividly (sometimes more than I can even Eliza's birth. Maybe because your birth was so long.) Its hard to believe that 24 months have gone by since that amazing day. Not only do you get cuter every day, you've done a lot of other amazing things in one year!

in the last year you have:

started and graduated speech therapy. You went from "babbling" at 15 months, to being well above where you needed to be with the amount of words at 20 months. My favorite part of this? You learned how to say "mommy" and "I love you." Swoon.
you weaned. It was quite sad for me, as your mommy. I had hoped to continue our nursing relationship until you were at least two. However, when I was 6 months pregnant with your baby sister, there just wasn't enough milk for your liking.
stared "school". You love mother's morning out, (and so do I!) and your teachers dote on you.
became a big brother! I can't believe how well you've done with your new role. I expected some jealousy, maybe even some acting out towards Eliza. However, you've been super! You are a big helper to me, and love to "hold her. Hold E-wi-wi, mommy."
started throwing tantrums. Its to be expected. You ARE two, after all.
gained 6 pounds! Woah! You weighed 18lbs at a year, and you weigh 24 lbs now. Way to grow, buddy!
you had tubes. These were a life saver in a turbulent ocean. Seriously. I think you'd write your ENT a long thank you letter if you could , you know, write and stuff.
lost some of that baby look. :( Mainly because of all of the teeth you have now!
moved into a big boy bed. You went straight from the crib into sharing a room with A in a bunk bed. Its rough at times, especially since you get up so early, but you love being close to Bubba.
Learned all of your animal sounds. Your favorite: the elephant.
Stopped screaming in the car. this was a welcomed accomplishment by all who ride with us.

You've had an amazing year. I'm so glad that God gave us you, Zeke. Happy birthday!
Love,
Mommy

p.s. here's your birthday video. :)

and, if you want to see last year's birthday video, its here.

Stay calm

2011-12-06T08:10:00.001-06:00

It's amazing to me how people can be. All people, really, but especially E and I. I've had some on-hand experience with this the last few weeks in relation to staying calm or, essentially, being patient.

E hates shopping. I mean, totally loathes it. He's the type of person that buys a gift just to "get it over with." We just bought a gift for his mom that I thought was rather pricey for what it was. He say to me, "well, it may be bad to think this way, but that's another $20 off what we have to spend on her." (Obviously, his love language isn't gift giving, folks. How lucky for me that mine is.)

So, E hates shopping. Sunday afternoon, we dropped the big kids off to help my MIL put up her tree, and we talk the littles to Target to go shopping. Target normally isn't the worst place on E's list (that's saved for special little "hells" like Hobby Lobby or Old Time Pottery in his opinion.) but Target on the weekends, in DECEMBER, are pretty crowded. I had a few things to look at and price. After the first one, E was getting antsy. I asked "which color do you think looks better?" he replies: "the first one" with out even glancing over at what I'm holding.

It only went down hill from there. We went to the toys, and he is just standing there, staring (maybe going to his happy place? Lowes or Costco possibly) while Isaac is climbing out of the cart and drinking out of his coffee cup. The only thing he says "can we get out of here now?" over and over.

what's my Achilles heel when it comes to patience? Screaming/crying/whiny children. Isaac has a sinus infection and he has been very prone to crying jags (well, that sinus infection and he's almost 2). He cried so much yesterday, I can't even begin to explain how shot my nerves were. It wasn't just sad, I don't feel good, cries. It was screaming really.

I'm making dinner rather late in the evening, (Our original plan was to go out to a local pizza place for kids eat free Monday night, but we decided against it because of Isaac.) and Isaac is throwing a fit about every.single.thing. He wants the cheese I'm shredding. He wants the tortilla I'm frying. He wants the tortilla chips I'm setting out. I give him a small bite of each, but he's screaming because he wants more. He's hanging on the fridge because he wants an apple. All.while.screaming.

Then there's the bigger kids. Asking for markers, fighting over who has the best green. "Mine's dried out! MoMEEEE! Mine's dried out!" "Can you get me some glue?" "Mommy, I need the crayons!" "He took my idea! Look, mommy! He stole it!" "She's looking at my paper!"

E's over on the chair, peacefully rocking Eliza. Completely unaware, or unaffected, by the commotion in the kitchen.

That's when it hits me. This is MY Target-on-a-Sunday-in-December. Let's pay for our stuff and GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Because I can hardly stand to post an entry with out a picture... pictures!

Two years ago

2011-12-02T07:37:00.000-06:00

Two Years Ago

One of Isaac's besties was born to my closest friend.

this is how *I* looked. Very pregnant.

this is what Isaac looked like. Well, part of him, at least.

The girls

2011-11-28T08:48:00.001-06:00

Sorry it took me so long to get around to posting these. We've been, well, rather busy. We had the sickies, then A had some sleep study appointments, and O had her therapy for her anxiety stuff, not to mention the 4 week long tummy issues Isaac has had. *whew*

Little E's birth story- an outside perspective

2011-11-18T15:04:00.000-06:00

I asked my friend, D, who was at Eliza's birth, to write a birth story for me. One, because it's sometimes tricky to really remember things correctly in your own birthing mind. Pain tends to blur the boundaries of time. 3 minutes seem like 30. It's neat, and special, to have another view of Eliza's birth to post here, and to put in her scrapbook to read when she's older.

I may interject with my own personal thoughts through out her narrative. Maybe throw in some pictures, too. :) I hope you don't mind, D.

There's something really special about watching a new person join the world. I was lucky enough to have T at my birth with C and part of my labor with Miss L and she was kind enough to let me join her and E for her labor & delivery with Miss E.

I can't say that I wasn't nervous, because although T is my closest friend, I've never actually seen a birth before. Also, I have absolutely no experience helping people (besides myself) through having a baby!! I was hoping I would end up being some help, or at least a distraction. (in a good way!) I knew that at the very least, I could take some pictures!

Poor T had contractions for days (not even exaggerating!) and when she texted me that night that she was going to the hospital to be checked, I had a feeling that she would be staying. I got dressed (yes, I was in my pajamas) and waited to hear from her. When she texted again she said she was about a 7-8 and was staying. I think that was about 8:30 PM and I was ready to go! I got to the hospital around 9, maybe a little later... I really can't remember. (you have a good memory, D! I just checked my texts and you asked for my room number at 9:10)

T had had her water broken by the time I got there and the contractions were painful. We chatted a bit, and she was doing great breathing through the contractions. We talked about names, I think, but I still didn't know what they were going to choose. In my head, I thought they would pick the name Amelia so it was a lovely surprise when I heard her real name!

Then, transition hit. How do I know? Because T said she couldn't breathe and was going to die. I know that feeling and you really think that you will die. (T here again. Seriously. There's no way to explain it to someone else. You just have to experience it to know that you really think you might die.) I have to say that T's husband E did an excellent job of coaching her. There were a couple of times during the night that E turned very pale, but he sipped some soda and seemed to recover just fine. He tried to make sure that getting an epidural was what she really wanted, and I tried to mostly stay out of the way. I know from my own experience that when I felt like dying I really didn't care about a drug free birth, or my husband, who else was in the room or anything but making the pain stop or getting the baby out. NOW.

At this point I felt like I was mostly just getting in the way. (You weren't!) I couldn't think of one good thing to say or do that would actually be helpful so I erred on the side of trying not to annoy anyone. Now I know how my husband must have felt when I was in transition!

I'm sure it felt like an eternity, but from the time the nurse (who was very good, by the way) went to get the anesthesiologist and the time he got there, it could not have been more than 10 minutes. He was very friendly, and thankfully for T, very fast. I tried not to watch the epidural all that much, because I saw the needle and it looked... really big.

My curiosity got the best of me and I did watch a little. It was interesting, being on the other side of it and just getting to watch. It was at this point that I was pretty glad I wouldn't be having any more babies!

I simply cannot recall what time it was when T got the epidural, but it was definitely at some point after 10 PM. Maybe 10:30? I'm sure T remembers better because that was probably when she realized she wasn't going to die after all. I could tell instantly when the medicine hit her. She could breathe again and open her eyes and the contractions were bearable, although still obviously painful.

It wasn't that much later that T said Miss E was coming. At this point I was really trying to stay out of the nurses and doctor's way (There are a lot of people in there during a delivery. A fact I never noticed nor cared about when I was on the delivering end.) and have my camera ready. Some of my favorite pictures are those that T took for me during C's birth, and I wanted to get some for her.
I remember at some point the doctor said "Don't push!" and T assured them she wasn't. (I wasn't!) It was clear Miss E had taken her sweet time getting to the labor stage, but now she was ready to come out and she wasn't waiting! It seemed like there was basically no pushing and there she was! A sweet, screaming, dark haired little beauty! At this point I changed my mind and I was quite sad that I wouldn't be having any more babies.

It was still before 11PM - 10:53 I think? - when she was born. E cut the cord and they whisked her away to be weighed and measured and cleaned up a bit. (Did I tell you that this is the FIRST child he's ever cut the cord with? He thought since she was probably our last he should do it once.)She screamed a lot for a newborn; I think she just wanted her mommy. It's amazing to think about meeting a little person that just 9 months ago, didn't even exist. A brand new little miracle!

I think it was while you were taking these pictures, D, that you kept telling me she had hair, but I didn't believe you.

Birth is a lot of things; painful, messy, uncontrollable, amazing, & miraculous! I feel pretty blessed to have been able to experience it in a new way. Thank you, T & E, for sharing it with me!

Thanks, D, for being such an amazing friend and writing a birth story for me! I can't imagine anyone better to share the birth of our daughter with! Muah!

One month!

2011-11-18T08:12:00.000-06:00

Happy one month, Eliza!

Stay tuned, because I'm working on a neat blog post for later today. My friend D was kind enough to write her version of Eliza's birth story to share with you all (and to put in Eliza's scrapbook!)

(I got the idea from a blog I read.)

The boys

2011-11-17T08:13:00.002-06:00

Black and whites

2011-11-16T15:57:00.002-06:00

Why I'm convinced it's important to wait until 39 weeks

2011-11-16T08:02:00.000-06:00

Before I start this post, I want to put a disclaimer. This is, obviously, just my personal opinion. I realize that I have very strong feelings in regard to inductions over all. I also realize that there are medically necessary inductions/Cesarean sections. Those are not included in my feelings or opinions. I am strictly referring to planned inductions or c/s based on convenience. Even then, I'm not saying "don't get induced!" I'm just saying "wait until 39 weeks!"

Ideas in the medical community seem to change rapidly. Especially when it comes to children/babies/pregnancy. Put them on their tummies to sleep. No, wait. Put them on their backs. Keep them rear facing until age one. Now, it's age two.

These changes are important. They keep our children safe. For example, we no longer have to worry about our child being thrown through the car window in an accident on the way home from the hospital because we have infant car seats. We know to buckle them up before we head out and to make sure they are in a 5 point harness until certain age and weight.

Here's a newer recommendation that you may not have heard of, though. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends that no elective delivery should be performed before the gestational age of 39 weeks.

The reasoning for the recommendation is for the safety of mother and baby. studies report rates of 28–35.8% of elective deliveries occurring before 39 weeks and reveal that they also contribute to increased rates of late-preterm births These deliveries are associated with increased neonatal morbidity, neonatal intensive care unit admissions, and associated hospital costs compared to deliveries occurring at 39–40 weeks. (taken from this website.)

In regular people terms, they found it causes more breathing issues and deaths in babies when they are "forced" to come before 39 weeks, (and, again, we're obviously NOT talking about pregnancies with health concerns for momma or baby here.)

This recommendation has even changed since O's birth. I was induced with her at 38 weeks (of course, one could argue that I was 5 cm dilated, 70% effaced, I was contracting, and she was very low. My OB's conclusion was that I may not make it to the hospital in time. Therefore, it would be under the ACOG's list of "okay to induce". But, I still believe her breathing issues stemmed from her c/s and being forced out before she was completely ready.)

Now, my last three children have entered this world on their own timing. A was 38 weeks, Isaac was 37, and Eliza was 39. I can tell you, from experience, that Eliza is, by far, more "advanced" at 4 weeks than my other kids. When I say "advanced" I don't mean that she's talking in full sentences. I mean that E and I have noticed a marked difference in several things when we compare her to the other kids.

1. How alert she is when she's awake
2. How well and fast she nurses
3. How she's able to hold her head up sooner/more
4. How she cries a lot less
5. How she just "looks" older

Eliza at 2.5 weeks

Now, obviously, these are in no way medical issues that would be a cause for concern in a 37 weeker versus a 39 weeker. But, I firmly believe that a lot of these things are due to the fact that her brain is more mature. I mean, if you figure it all out, she's really 2 weeks "older" or "more mature" than Isaac and Olivia were at this same out-of-the-womb-age. She's had more time for her nervous system to mature.

So, there you have it. My soap box post for the month. Let your babies pick their own birthday if you can. If not, wait until they are 39 weeks before you induce. Their little baby brains will thank you.

Working on Christmas

2011-11-13T11:56:00.000-06:00

We got our CD in the mail from our pictures that we got taken the other day. I'm working on Christmas cards and birthday party invitations (for who? Not MY little boy. He's NOT going to be 2!)

Here's a teaser. :)

A bullet

2011-11-11T15:37:00.000-06:00

My door bell rang at 2:00 pm with a "Happy November" gift for E and I. The newest Harry Potter movie! Woot! (and, my E is a teeeeny bit of a nerd. he and his, also nerdy, college roommate refer to it as HPTDH2)
I am attending a baby shower tonight. Honoring Eliza and several other friends and babies. I hope it will be fun.
I'm eating peanut butter on saltines. I'd eat it right out of the jar right now, but that some how seems pathetic. So, I basically put it on air with calories.
I am drinking a home made salted carmel hot chocolate. Double yum! (Thanks, D!)
E just brought in a tiny little flag and A said "Hey daddy! Where'd you get that president's flag?" hehe
I took all four kids to Babies R Us today. We all made it back alive, and with all of our shoes, purses, hair things, so I guess that constitutes a good trip.
Eliza has been gagging on her pacifier. I've been trying to find one she'll take with out gagging. No luck so far.
Salted Carmel hot chocolate is a little salty at the bottom. Note to self: must stir better next time.
Isaac is just hilarious. I can't believe, sometimes, that this is the kid that didn't talk 5 months ago or the kid that would.not.give.his.momma.a.smile FOREVER.
I think I'm ordering these towels for some Christmas gifts.
A is all about bad guys/good guys right now. He used his allowance money to buy a mini nerf gun at Toys R Us. He cracks me up with his, "I'm going to use it to shoot bad guys, mommy."
It's insanely hard to type with a 22 month old (okay, ALMOST 23 month old) demanding "ore cackers, mommy!" But, it's cute to hear "ank you mommy."
BRU wouldn't accept my return of NB sized pampers diapers. So, sorry, Eliza. You're going to have to squeeze those sweet thunder thighs in them. (Oddly enough, she fits in the huggies NB's just peachy.)

Parenting FAIL

2011-11-10T10:21:00.000-06:00

I had a parenting fail today. F.A.I.L

My morning was a little crazy today.

It didn't start off that way.

No. In fact, it was pretty calm and relaxed.

I got the big kids off to school. Isaac was watching cartoons, while I was enjoying a cup of coffee.

The phone rings.

It's the school nurse (again. 3rd time this week.)

A's had an accident. He needs to come home and take a shower.

It's 8:20. I have to leave at 9:00 to take Isaac to school.

Crap, I say to myself.. I haven't gotten Eliza dressed.

Isaac's lunch isn't packed.

Can I wear my slippers to pick him up?

Then comes the anger.

This is his 4th accident in two weeks. (The first 3 were #1. This was #2.)

We've been to the dr. and nothing is wrong. He's either 1. Lazy or 2. Scared to ask his teacher

He won't tell me what happened. Or when it happened.

He's laughing, thinking it's fun to go home and take a shower in the middle of the day.

I lose my patience. I ask him again what happened and when.

He suddenly "can't talk" because his "throat is scratchy."

Lies. All lies. *sigh*

Patience lost again.

Urge him to take a shower quickly. Fast! We've GOT TO GO!

Take him back to school, where I realize he's embarrassed.

It's at this point that I am, too. My behavior until now was atrocious.

I was thinking about how he inconvenienced ME.

Not at all about how embarrassing it would be for HIM.

I feel like crying. I totally failed.

F.A.I.L.E.D.

Sorry buddy

Her birth. Again. In more pictures.

2011-11-08T09:10:00.000-06:00

Just a GIANT PSA:

if you don't like birth photos OR you don't want to see my ~~beautiful~~ naked thighs, please do not read this post.

Okay. Now that THAT's out of the way. I love these photos way to much to not share. Most of them are from my friend D, who was there at Eliza's birth.

A matter of technicality

2011-11-01T07:57:00.001-05:00

Two Tuesdays ago may have been two weeks.

But this little girl,

just can't be two weeks old already.

(or this little girl 6.5 for that matter.)

Even if her eyes are open more.

She still can't be 2 weeks old. I refuse to stop counting her age in days.

Until 10:53pm tonight, she's only 13 days.

The honest truth

2011-10-28T09:36:00.000-05:00

I've been having a hard time adjusting to the fact that Eliza will (likely) be our last baby. As much as I was sure about it when I was pregnant, I am now feeling all weepy and sad about it.

Eliza is amazing, so precious, and such a blessing.

But, I still feel like someone is missing. (And they are. Lots of someones. *sigh*)

I sort of hoped, ignorantly, the feeling of "some one missing" would go away once we had decided that our family was complete.

It doesn't, does it?

A birth story

2011-10-23T16:18:00.002-05:00

Where do I begin the story of Eliza's birth? The Thursday before, when I went to the hospital with contractions then got sent home later when they stopped? Probably not, but E tells me I can "count" all of those painful hours when I tell Eliza about her birth when she's older.

Monday morning, the 17th of October, I had a dr. appointment. At my appointment, I was 4 cm dilated and 70% effaced. (which was improvement from Friday morning when I was only 2.5cm.) Dr. C. thought she'd see me later that evening.

I had contractions all day Monday, and all night Monday night. When I say all night, I mean ALL. NIGHT. LONG. They were about every 10 to 15 minutes apart and painful when I was laying down.

Tuesday rolled around and I was still contracting every 10ish minutes. More often when I was standing or walking around, and a little less often when I was sitting.

I actually decided to go to bible study, since I couldn't really do anything at home but sit there and pray little girl came out soon. Half way through, though, I got very tired and decided to head home early.

I laid down for a nap when Isaac did, but continued to have contractions. Still the same strength and no closer together.

E happened to forget that Tuesday is dance for O, so I took all 3 kids to dance class. During the class, I took the boys to Walmart to 1. get out of the dance studio, and 2. get some groceries. While we were there, my contractions started to hurt a little more and a little more. However, they weren't any closer together.

When we all got home, I was close to tears. (okay, I was IN tears.) I was so tired from not sleeping and contracting all day. I decided to call my doula to see if she had any suggestions for stopping the contractions. (unfortunately, she was at the beach...) She suggested I take a bath and see if it slowed the contractions down or sped them up. I took a hot bath and nothing happened. Contractions were still the same. My doula then suggested I go get checked at the hospital. Just in case.

But, I didn't want to go to the hospital. Again. And get sent home. Again.

At this point, I did what every grown woman would do. I called my mommy, sobbing. I was just so dang tired. She prayed with me and for me to have wisdom to know what to do (wait it out or go get checked.)

After a few more contractions, I decided we should probably go in to get checked. We called my IL's again, and headed to the hospital.

When we got there, it was crowded and we had to wait a ~~little bit~~ long time. While we were waiting, I noticed my contractions seemed to have slowed down. A lot. Like I only had one or two while we were waiting. I looked at E and told him "I think we're definitely going home."

My name was finally called. We went back with the nurse and the first thing I told her was that she was probably going to have to send me home since my contractions had stopped. I told her if I was the same as the day prior, I wanted to go home- and maybe with some Ambien to help me sleep if needed.

The nurse started checking me at 8:20. She got a very puzzled look on her face, like something was wrong. She picked up her phone and called the night shift's head nurse. She says "It feels like my patient is almost complete. can you come check?" What?? While she was continuing to check I had a contraction. Then she says to us "oh, I guess when you contract you're a loose 7 to 8. You're not going home."

I couldn't believe it.

I called my friend Devan to come to the hospital. (I had originally waited to call her until we knew what was going on, if they were going to keep me or send me home. Especially after thursday's events.)

The dr. on call came in to chat with us around 8:45. I asked how long my body could contract only every 15 minutes. How long would it take to deliver. She said it could go on a very long time. She couldn't be sure. I decided to go ahead and have my water broken.

I completely forgot how bad it hurts with contractions after your water is broken in comparison to before. If you don't know or remember-it's bad.

My body quickly went from barely contracting to having contractions every minute, then having them right on top of each other with a 5 second break. It's somewhere around here that I decided I was dying. (I now know it was transition, but it really was almost unbearable.) I went ahead and ~~screamed at~~ told the nurse I wanted my epidural. (I was dilated to a 9 at this point.)

(a side note: E was trying to talk me out of the epidural, since he knew I wanted to have a natural birth. Devan was telling me she knew what it felt like to almost die. I just wanted it to stop. I believe one of my comments during this time was "Who's bright idea was it to do this naturally anyway?")

Those few minutes from the time I asked until the time it came were the longest of my life. (I was recounting it later and told E it seemed like 30 minutes. He said, in reality, it was about 5.) After the epidural was all in, I was still having a lot of pain with my contractions. The dr., who was still there, said that was because I got the epidural at 9cm versus 5cm, etc.

Somewhere around 10:45, I was having some pressure with my contractions, but not constant pressure. I thought we should let the nurse know. The dr. came back in and checked me. I told her that it was hurting. The dr. said "that's because she's ready to come out." While the nurse put my legs in the right places and the dr. was getting dressed, it started to hurt really bad. The dr. glanced over and said "ha! that's because she's half out! don't push!"

Now, there's a phrase I've heard in prior birth experiences. And, it's a big.fat.joke. I wasn't pushing. I was contracting. The baby was just coming out.

Luckily, the dr. was in the room, so she came over to talk to me and told me to go ahead and push whenever I felt like pushing. I gave a push, and the pain was so intense. (I asked later about the pain, and my OB said, again, it was the time issue. the epidural just didn't have a lot of time to get into my system.) I was certain that if I continued to push, I'd tear like I did with Isaac (super bad, people. I won't go into detail, but 30+ stitches.) I asked if she could give me a small episiotomy (my regular OB and I had talked about this prior to my pushing. that was our original plan to avoid the damage I had with Zeke.) She gave me a tiny little cut, and the baby came sliding out.

Now, when I look back on those last few minutes, it seems like it took forever. In reality, E said it was 3 minutes from my first push to birth. 3 minutes. Total time from getting into my room to birth: 2 hours and 33 minutes.

so, yeah. Maybe it was a good thing I went in and got "checked".

Welcome to the world, Eliza Claire!

Her cry was so loud! Several nurses commented on her "set of lungs"

She was still mad. We found out a few minutes later it was because she had pooped and peed.

Cleaned up and ready to eat.

All settled in our room, and just had a snack.

Daily Dose

2011-10-20T13:39:00.000-05:00

Daily Dose of Eliza Claire:

meet Eliza

2011-10-19T19:36:00.000-05:00

I can't wait to share her birth story. However, she's totally into nursing/sucking non-stop right now. It'll have to wait until we get out of the hospital.

Meanwhile, meet our sweet Eliza. She was 7lbs 3 oz and 19 inches long. Born last night, at 10:54 p.m.

We are so in love!

In 4 weeks, when I'm holding her, none of this will matter

2011-10-15T20:36:00.000-05:00

Right now. Well, right now I'm feeling a lot of emotions. (Actually, in addition to emotions, I'm having a painful contraction...) Anger, sadness, jealousy, impatience. You know, all good emotions. ;)

Thursday morning, I had an OB appointment. My OB stretched me, (I was still the same as the previous week, though, with NO change. boo.) but didn't expect to see me until Monday, during my next appointment.

Thursday afternoon, I woke up from my nap with contractions, around 2:30. They got stronger and closer together. Before I actually decided to "go in" they were about every 2 minutes apart. It took a while for us to gather every thing up and for my in-laws to head over.

By the time we got to the hospital, it was 7pm and I had been contracting every 2 minutes for 2 hours. The nurse (who was very new) checked me and I was...wait for it... STILL THE SAME! Gaah!

So, my doula met us there, got all of our stuff set up, and we went to town with our birth plan: intermittent monitoring, just an IV port, and lots of walking and bouncing on the ball. I had a lot of contractions, mostly still every 2-3 minutes apart until about 12:30 am. At this point, they had to keep me on the monitors a little longer because they wanted to watch baby girl's heart rate a little closer. My contractions started to space out to every 5 minutes. Then to every 10. By 2:00, they were only every 15 minutes or so.

At 2:30, they checked me again and I was the same dilation as in previous checks, but I did make progress in effacement. Up to 80%. Trust me, better than nothing, but still frustrating.

By 3:00, my contractions had stopped completely. I sent my doula home, and we tried to get some sleep. I was up, for good, at 4:30. My OB came in at 6 and sent us home.

I have no words for the emotions I felt in that moment. Or, rather, not enough words. I had to pack up our stuff, walk down the hall, and out of the hospital with no baby. Not to mention I had to answer all of the posts on facebook.

So, since Thursday, I've felt like hiding in a hole. I don't want to see anyone who knows me who might know what happened. have ANYONE say "oh, you're still pregnant?" or"You didn't have that baby, yet?" or better yet, my favorite (strickly because I *know* this. I *know* it.) "She'll come when she's ready."

I don't even want to venture into church tomorrow. I already told E, as we were leaving in the hospital, that he was going to have to go with out me.

I know I'm being childish. Especially with the people at church. They love me and care about me. But, maybe that is what makes it worse? Maybe because they know that this pregnancy is my longest yet, and that we've been waiting for baby G's arrival for WEEKS now?

Or because I'm embarrassed. Okay. that's probably it.

I'm starting to remember that there is nothing more frustrating in the world than realizing I AM NOT IN CONTROL! Even though I try to control, I cannot. Whether it be the birth of my baby girl, the many miscarriages we had, my daughter's anxiety, or my son's speech. I cannot control everything. In fact, I have very little control.

That, my friends, is humbling. And sort of infuriating. Now I know remember why my toddler throws things when he doesn't get his way. It's from the lack of control.

Now, what can I throw?

Dear baby George

2011-10-12T15:35:00.000-05:00

Dear Baby George, (Don't worry. We won't call you that once you're born. Well, at least I won't. One of your big brothers might.)

Let me start by saying that I appreciate your apparent love for me, your momma, and my uterus. However, we'd love it if you came out soon. Your growing body and growing home is ~~starting~~ continuing to make mommy miserable.

Tomorrow would be an excellent choice for a birthday. For one, mommy's doctor is on call. All day. For two, and more importantly, it's the anniversary of your Aunt Becky's death. I know it might seem weird to share a birthday with that occasion, but your Grandma, Grandpa, and Daddy would enjoy having something positive/fun to think about on October 13 every year, in addition to remembering Aunt Becky's life.

So, feel free to come out tomorrow and meet the world. We can't wait to love on you!

Love,
Mommy

p.s. Tomorrow technically starts at midnight. Just so you know. ;)

Bubbles and bellies

2011-10-10T12:36:00.000-05:00

Our big kids had fall break this past Thursday, Friday, and Today. Since E had to work all of those days, we decided to take the kids to do something fun on Saturday. We headed to Birmingham bright and early, stopping at a doughnut shop in Culman first (um, yum! Haven't had one in ages and the one I did have was still warm. heaven.)

We spent most of our morning/early afternoon at the McWayne Science Center. We had free passes for the kids, so we made out pretty cheaply (well, $24 for all of us.)

Most of the museum was pretty dark, so I couldn't really get any pictures. The bubble exhibit, however, was right in front of some windows, so I got a few.

My favorite picture of the day:

All three kids trying to make a bubble.

It was a fun day. 2 of the 3 kids fell asleep on the way home and slept most of the time. The other kid, A, listened to a book on CD. E and I actually had some conversation time. Which was nice. :)

I had an OB appointment today. 38 weeks. Unfortunately, nothing has changed since last week's appointment. Not a gosh.dang.thang. Not that I'm having a hard time or anything. ;)

Patience is not a virtue of mine. Well, I'd like it to be, but I tend to get anxious and worry. About stupid stuff, too. *sigh* Anyway, here's a picture from before my appointment.

I have lots on my mind today, all mostly baby related. However, A has a birthday party to attend, and I need to get the littlest down for a nap. Since nothing is going on baby wise, I'm sure I'll have time to blog more tomorrow. ;)

hearing the little voice in your head and 37 weeks

2011-10-03T11:46:00.001-05:00

Another funny story from my little man, A.

E got into the shower the other night, and noticed that there was a cup full of body wash in the corner. A is the only one who takes showers unsupervised in our shower (well, minus the adults, of course) so E knew it was his doing. When he got out of the shower, E disciplined A. Following the discipline, he sat A on his knee and started talking a little bit about his conscience.

E: "You know that little voice in your head that tells you when you shouldn't do something? That's God telling you that you aren't obeying or doing what Mommy and Daddy want you to do. You need to listen to that little voice."

A: "I couldn't hear the little voice. The shower was too loud."

E and I both almost burst out with laughing. I mean, seriously, you guys. Where does a 5 year old get these things?

I'm officially 37 weeks today. If baby George was following Isaac's timeline, she'd be here some time this week. If I had to guess (and let me tell you, every one and their mother wants me to guess) I'd say she's hanging out in there for a while. In fact, I've gone the complete opposite direction of my feelings earlier, when I thought she might come while my OB is gone, and I think she might hang out the longest of ALL of my kiddos. Which is sort of depressing, honestly. (O was 38w1d, A was 38w, Isaac was 37w4d)

A friend emailed me a dream she had, where I had a 3 hour labor and no epidural (Can you imagine?? Well, YOU might be able to, but I can't imagine anything less than 12 hours of labor.) I'm praying on that, despite when she decides to grace us with her appearance.

Here's what I look like today. I have decided I need to clean my mirror, I think it's why the picture is a tad blurry. That's on my to-do list. :)

Happy Monday!

If it's in writting, it MUST be true

2011-09-30T06:58:00.000-05:00

O lost her 2nd top tooth at friend's house on Wednesday. She brought it home and immediately started talking about keeping it. I'm sorry, but lost teeth are sort of gross. Sure, they're cute and little when they're in the mouth, but pull those suckers out and they just give me the heebies.

We told her, in no uncertain terms, that in order to get the money from the tooth fairy, she had to leave the tooth in exchange. O then decided that she'd skip the money, and the tooth fairy, all together and keep the tooth. We told her no. We don't keep teeth.

She was so upset. Started crying hysterically at the table, etc. (Oh, the drama.) When we got ready for bed, she showed E the note she was going to leave for the tooth fairy. It said "Dear Tooth Fairy, I wanted to keep my tooth, but my MOM said NO! Love, O." (which, as an aside, she never calls me "mom" unless she's mad. She normally calls me Momma or Mommy.)

After E finished putting O to bed, he came back into our room and told me that there was a reason behind all of the madness. Apparently, if O brings the tooth to school, she gets a little necklace with a tooth shaped container that holds the tooth. She only gets it if she loses a tooth at school or she brings one in. E and I decided that we would let her keep the tooth so she could get this. E wrote a note from the "tooth fairy" saying that she talked to me about keeping the tooth, etc. and that she'd make an exception to leave the tooth just this once.

In the morning, O came down the stairs so excited! She was shouting "She let me keep my tooth!" She laid out the letter from the tooth fairy onto the table. A, who has a very good memory, looks at the note and says "Hey, that doesn't look like the tooth fairy's handwriting!" (keep in mind, he has yet to lose a tooth himself. He's only seen O's notes.) "Is the tooth fairy real, Momma?"

I'm totally not into lying straight out about things like the tooth fairy. It bothers me. However, I didn't really want to ruin the moment for O, either. So, I simply said "Well, A, what do you think? Do you think she's real?"

O, at this point, says to A "but, look! The note is signed 'love the tooth fairy!' " A, with a smile on his face, says excitedly "well, then she MUST be real!"

You know, because everything you read must be true.

I am glad that we have the simple joy and excitement of the tooth fairy still alive in our house. For now. Until A discovers some other discrepancy.

Back and Forth

2011-09-27T08:39:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had my 36 week appointment with my OBGYN. Overall, it went well. Everything looked good. Lost 1.5 pounds, and my uterus still measured 36 weeks (I measured the same 2 weeks ago.)

My OB, of course, is leaving on Sunday, the 2nd, and won't be back until the 10th. To sort of make a long story short-(ish) I'll just say that we both REALLY want her to be at my birth for several reasons.

My dr. was really hoping that I'd be dilated some yesterday, so that I can come back in on Thursday or Friday and maybe do a little stretching and get things going and started, possibly having baby girl come this weekend. It wasn't really unrealistic, since I was dilated with O and I at 36 weeks. (I can't remember with A. How bad is that?!?!?)

When my dr. walked into my room she says "I want you to either be closed, or like an eight or something." She was kidding. Sort of. She then says "but I doubt you will be. I'm guessing a 3." That was my guess, too.

Turns out, I was closer to a closed than we thought I would be. I was a finger tip to 1. She couldn't tell super well because my cervix was very posterior and hard to reach. Since my OB is going out of town, I didn't really want to "make her" reach or even try to stretch me. There's no point, really.

Here's where I go back and forth. Part of me feels like I totally read my body wrong, and I feel stupid for thinking I was dilated more. (Stupid, I know, but true.) That same part of me feels slightly disappointed that we likely won't have a baby this weekend. That same part that is happy with my weight gain RIGHT.THIS.MINUTE. and doesn't really want to gain any more.

The other part? The other part is glad. The other part knows this is the last time I'll likely ever be pregnant. The last time I'll ever feel a little person move inside of me. That other part is glad, too, since our family is just getting over a tummy bug (everyone but me got sick. amazing!) and we have a few home improvement projects we'd like to accomplish this weekend.

Then there's this middle part. Or maybe it's back to the first part of me, I'm not sure. But, I just have this feeling that this little girl is going to come when my OB is gone. It may not be in the beginning of her trip, but it may be on the last day (or two.) That's kind of a negative part, huh? I know it's pessimistic. I know. But, I keep trying to figure out what I have to do in order to have the birth I want and have the level of medical intervention I need with out having those two things get confused by the on call dr. The good thing is that my doula should be able to help me with some of that.

Did you follow me on all of that? I wouldn't blame you if you didn't. Heck, I can barely follow my own thoughts.

A Quilt, my Belly, and other things

2011-09-23T13:03:00.000-05:00

I finally got around to piecing together that quilt I mentioned in this post. I wanted to use up my scraps, as well as make something that went with all of the fabric in the room. If you know my sewing style, I'm not on much for actual "patterns" or quilt styles. Its too, um, formal for me. So I laid out all of my larger scraps on top of my backing piece and my batting and sort of just pieced it all together.

There was a point where I was about to throw the entire quilt out the window. That point was towards the end, too. Isaac kept crawling in my lap while I was sewing and I screwed up an entire line. That one long stitch took me almost 2 hours to take out.

But, it's finished now. Whew.

Part of the quilt. Not sure if I'm going to regret the satin fabric...

The binding is half brown and half the brown/white fabric. This picture has the quilt folded in on the top right corner so you can see the backing, too.

Since I uploaded some pictures from my camera, I found a few belly pictures I thought I'd share.

This one is 34 weeks, taken right before my baby "sprinkle" that my friend D threw me.

A took this one for us. We realized later that E's shirt was unbuttoned. Classy.

These are from Monday- 35 weeks.

As a complete and utter unrelated topic, have I mentioned how much I hate staying home all day? Isaac woke up sick last night, so we've been quarantined today. I hate it! I get so restless and have cabin fever! I made an attempt to leave the house this morning, to get Zeke some medicine for his fever, but he fell asleep in the car before we even left the subdivision. So, I made a loop and came back home.

Speaking of crazy things. I am slowly packing my bag for The Girl's birth. E asked me yesterday if I had packed for him. I told him no, and he said "oh, never mind. I'm sure we won't be in a rush to get to the hospital with how long your labors are. I can pack then." Thanks for that reminder, babe.

One more update to add to my hodgepodge. We finally chose a first name for The Girl! I'm about to bust at the seams! I want to tell someone in a bad way. It's probably a super good thing that we choose names late in the game. Otherwise, I may not be able to keep it a secret. ;) O keeps asking what her name is. We'd tell her, but the last time we told the kids a secret (that I was pregnant) they blurted it out to my parents on the phone. So, we're staying tight lipped. E keeps telling the big kids that we're going to name her "George". They think that's nonsense, and laugh hysterically. Isaac, however, keeps saying "Baby George!" It may end up her nickname.

I have no energy nor desire

2011-09-12T16:07:00.000-05:00

I want to relay some information for those of you who care. However, I'm not feeling so hot right now. I've got a sore throat and a headache. So, instead of a well-put together post, you get bullets. Or asterisks.

*My good friend Devan (I'd link up to her blog if I wasn't so lazy) threw me an ah-mazing baby shower yesterday. It was just unbelievable. Cute decorations, awesome food, fun friends, and amazing gifts. On top of all of that, she made me a diaper cake AND got me a massage gift certificate. I think I love her. (Well, I already knew I did, but it just reinforced it.)

*I had a panic moment in my bathroom yesterday, getting ready for the shower. I kept thinking "no one will show up". I asked E when I'd stop caring if people like me. He replied "I don't think YOU ever will." Fine. I see your point.

*Thankfully, almost everyone showed up. Which was just wonderful, since I haven't seen a few of those girls in ages. It was so wonderful and I left feeling so loved and blessed to have such amazing women in my life.

*Today was doctor appointment day. I had an OB appointment at 9, and Zeke had a sick visit at 11:30. We left the house at 8, and didn't get back until 12:30.

*I rested for a few minutes after I got Isaac into bed for a nap. When he woke up, my throat was SO sore, and I had/have a bad headache. Of course, this happened AFTER we went to the dr. Sheesh.

*Good news, over all, from the OB. Baby girl is head down, and her head is low. Yippee! I was a little afraid, for a while, that she might be transverse. The last few days, I have felt her hiccups down low, so I was feeling a tad better. But, it's good to know that she is, in fact, head down.

*Baby girl must have had a growth spurt. Last appointment I gained zero pounds in two weeks. This appointment, I gained 4 lbs AND measured 2.5 weeks ahead. (Last week, I was about .5 weeks "behind" . which, really isn't "behind". I know, its confusing.) I refuse to think that the weight gain was from my eating of baby shower cake yesterday. nope. can't be. ;)

*Unfortunately, it seems as if my upper back pain is likely to be a kidney stone. Fun. I mean, it's not completely a surprise. I had 2 with O's pregnancy, a few after that, and one during Isaac's pregnancy. But, it just isn't my favorite past time. I did get a script for Percacet if I need it. If I don't have any issues before the baby is born, we'll just use it after delivery.

*I hired my doula. Did I tell you guys that? She's awesome. I met with her a few weeks ago with Isaac in tow so we didn't finish everything. I can't wait to meet with her again (sans Isaac) and get some more things "planned".

*The weather seems to be cooling down a little bit. At least our morning walks to school are cooler. I actually wore a T-shirt today, instead of my usual tank top. I know, I know. It's down-right chilly. :)

*There are some things going on with O that we could use some prayers for. It's nothing scary, but definitely things that need to be worked out now, while she's 6. I'll share in more detail another time. It's the kind of topic that needs an entire blog post.

*My friend Devan and I are going away for a girl's night this Friday. I cannot wait.

*we still do not have a name for miss baby. Ack!

The Big Reveal

2011-09-09T12:30:00.000-05:00

I FINALLY have the nursery cleaned up enough that I felt I could share pictures. It seems the nursery (a.k.a. the bonus room) seems to be home to random things that need to get put back into the attic. (It makes sense, since we have attic space on either side.)

But, today! Today, it's cleaned up and ready for it's time in the spotlight.

Want to take a tour?

Here's the view when you first walk in. See my little helper?

Closer view of the wall/window

The changing table

Um...This is why he's in a big boy bed now. ;)

This is actually where the rocking chair will go once the baby is actually sleeping in here. This cradle, while beautiful and antique (was E's grandpa's), is a pain in the hiney to put together. I'm doubting she'll even sleep in it. *sigh*

View from the bed.

( I'm pretty sure Isaac exceeds the weight limit of that cradle. Seeing as one of the supports popped out.)

The crib. Minus my helper.

The Ultrasound wall. :)

Bonus picture: not really part of the nursery, but still stinkin' cute. Newborn diapers.

There are still a few things I need to do. In fact, I bought a growth chart, just today, that needs to be hung up. Oh, and the simple little quilt I need to ~~finish~~ start to go on the bed. (ha! simple! help!)

I hope you enjoyed the tour.

Zeke goes to school

2011-09-08T12:41:00.000-05:00

Isaac had his very first day of "school" yesterday.

He is going to the same Mother's Morning Out program the big kids went to.

It's only 1 morning a week, for 4 hours, but it's a great experience for us both.

He's at that stage now, where I can't get a good picture of him because he never sits still.

Never.

But, I did get his "bickpick" on in time for some quick snaps.

I also got a face shot while he was finishing up a snack he started early in the morning.

My big plan was to get pictures of him in his class, in front of his cubby, etc. However, he just jumped right in and started playing. I decided not to rock the boat and just took a picture of him playing.

He had an awesome day! I tried to keep him awake on the way home with some snacks, but he fell asleep, with a goldfish in hand.

Even in my dreams

2011-09-07T13:22:00.000-05:00

Birth has been on my mind a lot lately. For obvious reasons in terms of myself. But, I've had some friends recently give birth, and some about to have babies any time.

Something else that has been on my mind is names. Not just any names, but a name for our baby.

I should preface this whole post by telling you that E and I take for.ev.er to name our kids. O was the earliest. Maybe around 30 weeks. A was 36 weeks. I was named just days before we had him. I'm totally not a "let's wait to see what they look like" kind of person, either. I like to paint letters to hang on the wall, I like to get things monogrammed. I like to KNOW what to call my baby, even if we don't share it with anyone else until they are born.

So, true to form, this baby girl does not have a name. We've gone through the baby books. We've posted on name blogs. I have several that I could "go with" and one that is my favorite. E, on the other hand, likes nothing. Nothing is "grabbing him" and he's not "in love" with any name. Which makes it particularly hard to decide.

So this name thing has been on my mind, along with birthing. It's no surprise that I had a dream about it all last night. In my dream, I delivered a healthy baby girl, with blond hair, at 36 weeks. It was a short labor (this, in itself, is a total dream. ha!) and she arrived with out complications. But, whenever people asked us her name, I could never understand what we told them. It was just jabbering. People seemed to like the name, whatever it was. But, I could never grasp what it was we actually named her.

Apparently, even in my subconscious, we can't decide on a name.

How many licks snaps does it take?

2011-08-31T16:46:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago my high school friend, and now blogger friend, Raechel, stopped by our house on their way down with her family (and two nannies!) to the beach. They got to hang out with us, adults, on Sunday night and have breakfast with us Monday morning. Before they left, we tried to get a picture of all of the kids.

So, how many ~~licks~~ snaps does it take

To get a good picture of 5 kids, early on a Monday morning?

The world may never know.

Oh Dear! again

2011-08-22T11:50:00.000-05:00

Dear I'm-going-to-throw-my-gum-wherever-I-may-please,
If you insist on throwing your gum in the parking lot, you will have to take care of the consequences. You now how 2 pairs of shoes to clean up for me. Please call me and we'll arrange a time for you to do this.
Thanks,
Sick of sticky shoes

Dear Self-
Never, ever, EVER try to make bias tape out of a super stretchy knit fabric again. It will not end well, and will likely result in lots of tears. (Thankfully, no one but E and I will see that home made miracle blanket up close anyway.)
Love,
I hate taking out seams

Dear Consignment sale,
Please sell lots of my baby clothes so I can pay for the new ones I'm buying.
Thanks so much,
loving-the-girl-stuff

Dear Isaac,
I love that you're getting more words (seriously, people! He's totally rocked his speech therapy! over 20 words now, and he said ZERO 4 months ago.) but would love it even more if you could kick "no, thank you" to the top to learn next. The incessant grunting of "uh-uh", while cute, is a little rude.
Fondly,
your also-add-"yes"-if-you-can mommy

Dear O and A,
You guys are so awesome and fun! I love hearing about your days at school and everything you're learning. Please don't ever stop telling me all about it.
Always,
Mommy

Dear O,
I know you hate handwriting. I know your teacher makes you do it "too long" every day. Unfortunately, you're a lefty, and your handwriting may need a little extra work through out the years. It happens.
Sincerely,
can't-remember-the-last-time-I-had-to-hand-write-something

Dear E,
So glad to have you home! Please don't leave me again. Please. And, just so you know, I cannot help it if I am jealous that you get to go to Hawaii for work. I also may not be completely "happy" for you. Especially since baby girl will only be a month old when you go.
Fondly,
I-wannnnnnnnnnaaaa-go-too!

Dear baby girl,
If you could just somehow relay the message to daddy that the name *I* have chosen is an awesome name, that'd be great. Also, maybe tell him you don't want to be named Jennifer, Jessica, Cathy, or Amy. While all good names, you are not 30.
Love and belly rubs,
I-want-to-name-you-soon

You win some, you lose some

2011-08-11T14:29:00.000-05:00

Win: Not having to wait long to see the OB because it's glucose tolerance testing day.
Lose: Failing said test and having to wait 3.5 hrs for the 3 hr glucose test.
(ETA: I just got the call that I passed the 3 hr test, so I guess that's a win, too!)

Win: A loves Kindergarten!
Lose: He's been exhausted every day this week. So much so, we've moved his bedtime up to 6:15.

Win: Isaac's new nap schedule. He's been sleeping 2+ hrs.

Lose: We've been having to lay down with him to get him to sleep/stay in his bed. Only for naps, but still not great for October when the new baby arrives.

Lose: E traveling for work again soon.

Win: Lots of time in the evening to sew/craft/work on consignment stuff.

Win: My littlest's love of blueberries. I love to hear him say it, and I love watching him eat them.

Lose: Blueberry diapers. Enough said.

Lose: Having a family member say "How many weeks do you have left?" then, after I reply, responding with "wow! You're just going to get bigger? I mean, you're already big!"

Win: Having someone ask how many weeks I am, then responding with "wow! you're so tiny!"

Win: Having an awesome OB who schedules your appointments on Mondays since that's her "day on call" and she knows me and my labor history (went into labor with A and I the same day as my appointments)

Lose: Finding out that Awesome Dr will likely be on vacation when I deliver baby girl. Possibly not, I suppose, but probably so. (She'll be gone the week I'm 37-38 weeks. O and A were 38 wks, I was 37.)

Win: Having a child who is super creative and smart.

Lose: Having a child who is super creative and smart, thus coming up with a way to stuff 10 pennies into our van's cassette deck.

Win: posting pictures from the first day of school.

Lose: No lose. This one's win-win.

He said MOMMA Elmo?!?

2011-08-03T10:44:00.000-05:00

Isaac has been feeling less than stellar lately. Last Wednesday night, he started with a croupy sounding cough, and nothing more. Then, the cough got worse, so I took him into the dr. on Saturday. He needed steroids, again, for two days. Saturday night, the poor kid started running a fever, and got really sick. Sunday morning, I was ready to take him back in. Monday, he was sounding croupy still, so we had to give him another day's worth of steroid (which, if you've never had the ~~torture~~ joy of having a child on steroids, you are really missing out on some wildness/crankiness/worst-sleeping-ever-ness.)

Every day since Monday, I keep thinking, "okay, if he gets worse, I'll take him in." Because, let's face it, I don't really want to drag 3 kids to the doctor's office ever, but especially when 2 of them are healthy. He hasn't gotten any worse, really, just kind of the same.

So, in all of his sick-glory, the kid has been extra snugly and loving (minus the steroid days when he was just mean to me). Today, he was sitting on my lap while I was, cough, checking facebook on my phone and watching the news. He keeps saying, what I thought was, "momma" over and over. Seeing as how he hasn't said this, yet, I was over joyed! I threw down my phone, looked into his sweet face, and then was immediately disappointed. He was pointing to the t.v. at Elmo. Saying "memo, memo", then signing "please".

thanks, kid. Apparently it's more important to say a furry, red, annoying puppet's name before mine. Burn.

A little bit of randomness

2011-07-29T20:53:00.000-05:00

I burnt two fingers on my left hand with the iron yesterday. I set it directly on my hand. Pregnancy brain, anyone?
E thinks I've been "nesting", but really, I'm just trying to prepare as much as I can before I get 1.too uncomfortable and 2. before school starts and I have even less time.
Baby girl's nursery is almost finished! My mom is making the crib skirt, and I have plans for a baby blanket/quilt with the scraps. I think it looks fabulous! I promise to share pictures, soon! Here's a teaser.

We've spent very little time at the pool this year with out E. I just don't feel up to handling watching the bigger 2 kids in the deep end, and keeping track of a wild-totally-has-no-fear toddler in the immense heat. I promise to do better next summer. (As long as baby girl is not walking...)
My little brother went and grew up and got engaged! My brother, D, and my future SIL, R are planning a May wedding as of now. Aren't they cute?

We looked, very briefly, into flying all of us out to the wedding (since Mapquest put it at 14 hrs for a drive, with out stops.) Then, we quickly realized that flying 5 people, renting a car, then paying for a hotel, plus 2 dresses and a tux just weren't going to happen. Maybe there's something fun to do between here and Pennsylvania to make the trip more intersting.
My heartburn/acid reflux has gone from controlled to uncontrollable. I started Prevacid when I was 19 weeks and it worked great! Until 2 weeks ago. I've been miserable. I cut out caffeine, pop, and eating big meals. I talked to the pharmacist today, and she pretty much said that there isn't much else I can do. *sigh* Before I complain too much, I would like to say that I am SO grateful that I never had this with my first 3 kids. 1 pregnancy is enough.
No, we don't have a name for the baby, yet. (Although, if it was up to me, we would. ;))
A friend's husband died last night after a freak fall that lead to cardiac arrest. I have never even met him before, but I am so sad and heartbroken for my friend. Her daughter is O's age, and her son is A's age. E is at a conference tonight, and I just want to hug him- for a really long time.

Patchy Ethmoid Inflammatory Disease

2011-07-25T07:30:00.000-05:00

In this post, I was telling y'all that E was super sick the day of the wedding in which he was the best man. I told you that it was a post I wouldn't forget, remember? I'm going to share a little bit of what happened.

Saturday morning, around 4 am, E woke up, saying he was very sick to his stomach. I immediately thought it might be food poisoning, since we ate at a Hibachi grill place the night before. Who knows if things get cross contaminated, etc. But, then, around 6 am, he started complaining of a headache.

We had hit up some garage sales the previous day that my parents wanted to go back to. E said he thought the fresh air might help him, so we loaded up the van and headed out. By the end of the hour, it was evident that E was too sick to stay any longer.

At this point, I start to get a little nervous. I mean, he's the BEST MAN. Not just someone who is going to the wedding, or even an usher. He kind of has an important job. So we started pumping him full of any kind of anti-nauseous meds we could find. Pepto-check. Pepcid- check. Tums-check. Then we found an anti-nausea med-check. Nothing was helping. He was still bed ridden.

Around 12, I start to get really nervous. We had to leave about 1 or so to be at the wedding on time. E was still in bed, and the kids and I had to get showered and dressed. About 12:05, the power in my parent's house goes out. Nice. The kids and I hop into the shower anyway. When I get out, I start contemplating blow drying my hair with the leaf blower. (I know. I was desperate.)

I get O's flower girl dress on, and most of A's tux, and go to find E to tell him we have to get ready to leave. Thankfully, the power came back on, and I could blow dry hair in the appropriate manner. E is too sick to drive, so I drive us to the wedding. The entire time, E is sighing heavily, leaning back, and looking quite pale (well, paler than normal.)

We got to the wedding on time, and E made it through the ceremony (It was an outdoor wedding, but thankfully E was in the shade- unlike the other groomsmen.) I then have to find something to do with all 3 kiddos for 2 hours.

Hmmm.... I lived in this area for years. In fact, I nannied for 2 years around the same parts. I know what to do with kids. However, what I don't know what to do with is kids in wedding attire. Can't go to the park. Can't go eat. Can't go to the hands on museum. Etc, etc, etc. I take them to the mall, just to walk around. We, of course, forgot the stroller, so I end up carrying Isaac the entire time.

When we got the to reception, it was cocktail hour. Still 1 hour before the wedding party arrives. The kids, at this point, were W.I.L.D. They were tired from no naps, lots of wedding excitement, and extremely sugared up on the candy bar they had set up in the lobby. You can imagine the torture that ensued for me.

The wedding party arrived, but E had to stay at the head table for a while. I was having so many contractions at this point that I couldn't eat. I was miserable. However, after E ate, he was a new man. He felt 100% better in a matter of 10 minutes.

We came to the conclusion that E had a migraine. Not his first, actually. He's had several over the course of the last year. When he mentioned this to his dr. last week, they suggested he have an MRI done on his brain to rule out the scary stuff.

They called him on Friday with the diagnosis. Patchy Ethmoid Inflammatory Disease. Basically, a sinus infection. Since he has no symptoms, he could have had this particular infection for a while, even up to a year. One of the main symptoms is headaches. They called in an antibiotic to clear it up since the infection is so close to his brain.

*an aside: When he called to tell me, I seriously thought he was kidding me. He's that kind of person. He would totally make something like that up to pull my chain. (The funny part is that E's mom thought he made it up, too.)

The hope is that the antibiotics will clear the infection and hopefully rid him of the migraines. If not, he may need sinus surgery down the road. I'm so glad for him. At least he doesn't have to suffer, with out a general/untreatable answer like "hormones" for the rest of his life.

Oh, you must coupon!

2011-07-19T20:01:00.002-05:00

Dental Hygienist (which, from now on, I will address as H): When is your baby due?

Me: In October

H: How nice! Is this your first?

Me: No. It's my fourth.

H: Fourth?!? Really? Were they ALL planned?

Me: Um.... I mean, we, um, always wanted four kids.

H: Really? Four? That seems like a lot.

Me: Yeah. My husband and I only have one sibling between the two of us. We wanted a big family.

H: So your done after this one, right?

Me: yes, as far as we know. We wanted four kids.

H: I could never have that many. I just don't know how you do it. Like the Duggars. They have too many, in my opinion.

Me: well, it would be hard.

H: So, do you stay at home?

Me: Yes.

H: Oh, you must coupon, then!

Me: A little, I guess. I'm not crazy with it it, but I try. I have friends who are much better at it than me. I just don't have time or the energy with 3 kids to run from store to store.

H: Oh, I don't do coupons. I don't have time, either. But, I do shop at night.

Me: After the kids go to bed is normally when I run/walk.

H: I get up at 4:30 to do that. Wait. You still run? I'd be scared to death something would happen.

Me: I just stopped running around 20 weeks. I still sneak in a few minutes here during my walks.

H: Here comes the Dr. (to the dr) Dr. C! Guess what! This is her FOURTH baby! Her FOURTH!

End horrific, uncomfortable scene.

(I can hardly restrain myself from posting the snide remarks I was making in my head. I'm sure you can imagine them, too.)

Lots of thoughts, nothing to say

2011-07-10T07:07:00.001-05:00

Over the course of the summer, it seems like I am always coming up with good ideas for blog posts. However, it seems that between the thought, and the actually sitting down, with time, to blog, it disappears. I'm left with nothing. Noth. Ang.

But, I always have pictures. At least I'm good for something.

Did I share these with you, yet? I know I shared the wedding dancing video, but I don't think I shared the pictures I took immediately before the wedding. There's a whole long story as to why I'm not in any of them. Mainly, it has to do with a man with a migraine, (my husband) who happened to be the best man in the wedding as well, who could barely function.

That's a blog post topic that I can remember. Trust me on that one. ;)

A and O before the wedding. They may have been fighting.

Go, go, gadget eyes!

E, giving his best even-though-I-feel-like-throwing-up-I'll-smile, smile.

What did Zeke do during the wedding? Ate goldfish. Lots and lots of them.

Baby you're a firework

2011-07-04T09:00:00.000-05:00

"...they're cousins. Identical cousins all the way."

2011-07-03T20:32:00.000-05:00

My cousin K and I grew up very close to each other. My parents said we used to fight like siblings, (and this I actually remember quite well, so it must be true.) Up until we were teenagers, we also looked very similar. My dad used to sing us the Patty Duke intro song, Identical Cousins, whenever we'd end up with matching outfits.

Anywho, while we were on our Michigan trip, my cousin K got to come to my parents house and spend a little time with me (and cut some hair for Zeke and I.)

She's pregnant, too. With a girl. Due about 3.5 weeks before me. Neat, huh?

(she was 26.5 weeks here, and I was 23. I also realize that you cannot see my eyes in these pictures because I was a little over enthusiastic about smiling.)

$4.25

2011-06-24T10:07:00.000-05:00

Garage sales in Michigan, where we are visiting my parents, draw a much different crowd than they do down at home. At home, it seems as if only those who are vastly interested in things to hoard frequent the sales. You know the type. The ones hauling around trucks, completely full of junk, pulling a trailer filled with the same. (Not that I'm not up for a bargain. I am. I just can't possibly understand the need to fill the back of a truck AND a trailer with other people's things. How can you possibly NEED all of that stuff.)

Back to my point. Visiting a subdivision garage sale is a little more fun here near my parents. Lots of kids things, in very good condition. For $4.25 I got quite a few goodies.

The breakdown:

$1.25 Addidias warm up outfit for O for the fall.

$1.00 for four board books for Zeke. Two of them were ones with sound (and both of them worked!)
(not sure what happened to this picture. sorry!)

$2.00 for two pairs of shoes for Zeke. One for right now- they are a pair from BRU that look brand new!

The second pair was a super good deal. Here's a new pair just like them, but in a darker brown for $23.95 plus shipping. I paid $1. Not bad, huh?

O and A also spent a $1 each on various toys. A's toy probably had $1 worth of batteries in it.

The Zekester

2011-06-15T21:01:00.000-05:00

Every year, while E and I were dating, E's parents would celebrate his half-birthday (today). They'd go all out and actually give him presents. I always made fun of him, telling him he was spoiled (I still hold this opinion. maybe not spoiled, but he got away with a lot.) Of course, I went along with it. Even contributed to the celebration.

It wasn't until a year into our relationship that I learned why. E's sister's birthday was on HIS half birthday. When they were growing up, his parents always gave E one gift to open on his sister's birthday and his sister got one gift to open in his birthday (which was her half birthday). When E's sister died, they continued the tradition of giving him gifts on his half-birthday.

Of course, I can't give E his half-birthday gift today. He's in Dallas. I'm in Alabama. (And, really, I'm hoping a clean house and packing for a 2 week trip for 4 of the 5 of us is gift enough this year.) But, I can give another certain half-birthday boy some loving today.

It's mister I's half birthday. He's 18 months today. Today may not have gone the way we originally planned (the kid had some serious 'roid rage because of the Prednizone he's on for croup.) but I still would like to think he enjoyed himself. In fact, he even got ice cream for dinner. A rare treat.

As far as updates go, he still isn't talking. We're on month 3 of speech therapy and have seen only a little improvement. His therapist and I talked at his last session about bumping his therapy up to two times a month, instead of one. What he can say is quite amusing- to him. I ask him to say "mama" and he says "dada" and laughs. Way to snub momma, Zeke.

What he lacks in words, he makes up in receptive skills. The kid is smart. I'm starting to think he may be faking this speech thing (totally kidding...sort of.) We can't mention the word "outside" with out him running to the closet, getting into the shoe bin, and pulling out his shoes. He always tries to put them on, which is always good for a laugh, (and is super-duper cute.) If his night time cup isn't full of water at bedtime, I say to him "don't fuss, I'm going to go fill up your cup" and he just sits there waiting for me to come back. He definitely knows what I'm saying.

Speaking of bedtime, he's still hit or miss on the sleeping through the night deal. Though, lately, his been more hit than miss (thankfully!) Oddly enough, when I put him in the pack and play to "get used to it" for our trip, he started sleeping longer in the morning. Hmmmm.... Maybe pack and play sleeping from now on.

I would bore you with more details, such as how he's using a fork and spoon, and loves to brush his teeth, but E's calling from Dallas. He's on the night shift, so we have to work out our schedules in order to talk. I'm off to talk to him and have him fill in my breaths with "uh-huh" and "oh". Night, y'all.

I scream! You scream! We all scream for ice scream!

2011-06-09T07:49:00.003-05:00

I cleaned up the boy.

Any takers on cleaning my stroller now?

How beautiful

2011-06-02T21:29:00.001-05:00

"How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of the messenger who announces the good news, "All is well."

He brings the good news, announces salvation, and tells Zion that its God rules as king."
Isaiah 52:7

The reveal

2011-06-01T15:54:00.000-05:00

Two different worlds

2011-05-31T14:16:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow, at 1:00 pm CST, E and I will head to the OBGYN and have our anatomy scan done for this little baby bit growing in my uterus. Scheduling the first appointment after lunch, in hopes that we can avoid a long waiting room experience. (I can't believe I have to wait until 1, though. I may drive myself insane...)

As I type this, I'm actually praying. And listening to worship music. And crying.

Why?

Because I am stuck between two different worlds.

World number 1: So excited to get to see our baby bit tomorrow. So excited to hopefully find out if it is a he or a she in there. So excited to see him or her move around on the monitor, and get to take pictures home to keep.

But, there's another world I live in.

World number 2: I'm scared something might be wrong. I know what anatomy scans are for, and its not finding out the gender of the baby. Its for finding abnormalities, birth defects, problems with the baby or with me. I know, all too well, that things don't always go as planned. In fact, they rarely do. I have known too many women who go into their scans with hopes and dreams, and come out crushed with a harsh reality of dispair.

Honestly, it is hard to live in either world for long. If I try to dwell on "is the baby a boy? or a girl?" I am quickly reminded of world 2. If I dwell on the later, well, it does no one any good. Especially me. It makes me jumpy, depressed, worried, and anxious.

I know this is not a new experience to those who have lost babies. In fact, I remember quite clearly the way I felt last time around.

There's a balance somewhere there. I know it. Which is why I'm praying. And listening to worship music. And crying.

I'm listening and watching this song, The More I Seek You. It is one of my favorites that we sing at church.

My favorite lyric: "I melt in your peace. It's overwhelming."

May I be overwhelmed by His peace. Today, and tomorrow, and the next day. No matter what the results of tomorrow are.

Diaper shower woes

2011-05-24T17:00:00.000-05:00

For expectant mothers, my Mother's of Young Children bible study normally throws a diaper shower. We had one of these said showers today. I ordered diapers off Amazon last week, thinking they would have plenty of time to get here before the shower. I happened to take a look yesterday, the day before the shower, on when they were supposed to arrive. I had thought they would come before then, so I was getting nervous. Thank goodness I checked. The diapers are supposed to arrive today. At 5:00 pm. Well after the shower.

What's a girl to do? I certainly don't want to go out and buy a package of diapers for an enormous amount of money when I spent $30 on a gigantic box that's coming today. So, I decided to whip up some kind of girly sewing project. I just so happen to be pattern testing for my friend, Rae, so I had a super cute pattern to try out.

Isn't it sweet? its a bubble romper. Love, love, love it! It was my first time shirring (the gathered elastic at the top) and it went surprisingly well.

I had some scraps leftover, so I decided to make a flower headband to go with it. I think that is my favorite part. Is that lame?

Oh, and I threw this dress I made in for good measure. I actually was planning on giving her this with the diapers.

Nice save. Nice save.

18 weeks

2011-05-24T09:05:00.000-05:00

Well, its that time again. Its time for belly shots. I don't take that many, maybe one every 3 weeks or so. But, these last two pregnancies I've taken substantially more than I ever did with O and A. (Sadly, I only have very, very large pregnancy pictures with them.)

So, here's me, 18 weeks pregnant. Isaac's pregnancy is on the left and this babe is on the right.

I keep getting statements like "oh! You're pregnant??" whenever I mention having another baby or what to name this one, etc. I mean, really? Do I not look it? I certainly feel like I look it. I suppose I am a little smaller this time around than I was last time, but I think my belly still looks pregnant. What-ev.

The next installment of belly will probably be next week sometime. I love to do a belly shot that coordinates with an u/s date. Its like an inside/outside view.

See you next week~!

To my dears

2011-05-18T12:34:00.000-05:00

Dear baby-
please stop pooping so much. Your bum and I will thank you.
Love much,
Sick of wiping poo

Dear A,
It should go with out saying that one scoop of sour cream in your 1/2 cup of soup is enough. You do not need two more scoops. And, yes, 3 scoops of sour cream make your soup look gross. Because it is.
Love,
You have to eat it now

Dear O,
I'm sorry you have asthma. It sucks, baby girl. It truely does. To agree with your statement: "I'm sick of this asthma" Me, too. Me, too.
Snuggles,
Your cough-hating mommy

Dear E,
The reason I want another daughter? Hmmm... Because boys don't call their moms every day. Or, apparently, buy them birthday gifts after age 20.
Sincerly,
Yes, I bought her a gift- you're welcome

Dear baby in my uterus,
Thank you for finally kicking hard enough to get passed that dang ol' anterior placenta. I love to feel you move.
Kisses,
Mommy

p.s. Please, please cooperate in two weeks for our anatomy scan. We want to if you're a he or a she.

Dear Dishes in my Sink,
If you could please do yourself, that would be super. I don't have time or energy to even give you more than a glance. I'm sure there will be comments from the peanut gallery about you later, so if you could take care of this buisiness before 5:00 p.m., that would be swell, too.
Thanks,
Sick of it

"Graduationship"

2011-05-13T16:33:00.000-05:00

A's graduation from preschool was last night. For weeks, he's been calling it his "graduationship". Its so cute, that I haven't had the heart to correct him. In fact, sometimes I asked him what is going on that day just to hear him say it. I know, its terrible.

Its a long program. The 2's go first, then the 3's, THEN the 4 year olds. Since we got there early,I had to take I out in the hall about 2 minutes through the actual program.

My friend D's littlest.

Zeke, playing with the bibles and name tags.

A and his teacher (he spilled water on his shirt after the program)

I'm having a hard time believing he's going to Kindergarten next year. I'll miss him.

(eta: after the afternoon we just had, Kindergarten may be in his best interest. You know the kind of afternoon I'm talking about, right? Yeah, that kind.)

Happy Anniversary, E!

2011-05-09T07:48:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, when I look at you, I still think of you as the teenage boy I fell in love with.

(one of our first "dates" even though I was only 15. Rae- do you remember doing my hair for this?)

I've watched you go from a boy to a man over the years, and I love what I see.

You are a kind and loving father. The kind who the kids want to be with whenever they get the chance.

You are an amazing husband, who provides me with security and love.

Even though we've grown up and changed, in a lot of different ways, I love you more every day.

Happy 8th Anniversary! I love you!

And for your viewing pleasure, a slide show I made 3 years ago for our 5th Anniversary.

(yes, I'm too ~~lazy~~ busy to make another. I'll shoot for our 10th, okay?)

6 days in the dark

2011-05-04T12:35:00.001-05:00

Day 1: The storms
Wednesday morning O went to school on a two hour delay due to a Tornado warning early in the morning.. A's school was on schedule. I had a few errands to run, so I sent both of them off, with a plan to keep an eye on the weather and an ear on the radio. I finished the things I needed to do, and went to eat with my mother in law. It was sunny and warm when we were seated. By the time our food came, the storms were back. We ended up getting stuck in the restaurant for over a hour, waiting for the rain to let up so we could leave to pick up the kids. Got home, found out that a tornado had just missed MIL's house by about a mile.

MIL calls to tell me that they don't have power. I invite them over for dinner. The storms start again. I quickly finish dinner, afraid that our power might go out. Set the table, tornado sirens go off, turn on the tv and see that it is indeed for our area. All 7 of us head to the bathroom- where the power goes out, and, consequently, the sirens stop at the same time.

We finish eating, send off MIL and FIL, and try to get the troops ready for bed. Another tornado is heading our way (which we know because of the radio. sirens still aren't working.) and we get back into the bathroom. Finally head to bed. O isn't having any of that. She has anxiety attacks all night, constantly asking us questions every 15 minutes. I am pretty confident she didn't sleep until well past 3 am.

Day 2: The day after
We hear on the radio that a tornado hit TVA itself. Initial report is that power may not be restored for 2-4 days. We thought about traveling to MI to stay with my parents, but decided that 2-4 days wasn't worth the drive. Plus, gas is expensive.

We head to Lowe's to get stuff to do E's projects around the house, and see this just around the corner:

We hang out around our house. We play with the neighbors. We hear about the crazy lines to get gas and food in Athens (which has power and is about 15 minutes from us.) We have an impromptu get together with the neighbors to grill all of the meat that is going to go bad before tomorrow. The weather is beautiful!

E and I play several rounds of Yahtzee. Unfortunately, O still has issues going to sleep. Still has anxiety induced nightmares.

Day 3: We're running out of food.
We have peanut butter bread again. The stuff in our fridge has been moved to our freezer in efforts to keep it cold. We decide to head to Athens to try to find something to eat for lunch, and find some gas for the IL's generator.

On the way there, the normal "route" we take to get there is full of traffic. We go a back way. We are shocked at the amount of damage to houses and fences. Not to mention a field that was completely full of Derbies. Amazing.

Almost all of the gas stations have super long lines, so we eat at McD's first, then try to find gas. We get lucky and find a gas station that we only had to wait at for 10 minutes.

We head home the normal route, and see this:

Complete devastation. Feeling blessed and a lot less "inconvenienced".

Weather is still beautiful. We have dinner with our neighbors, who kindly let us use their gas stove top to cook some noodles and sauce.

E and I play Yahtzee again. Its been quite fun spending evenings with him like this.

Day 4: We're out of here!
We head to Nashville for the day. Going to use our last day of our zoo membership, and hopefully visit some friends. On the way there, we stop to go to the bathroom. O is washing her hands and she says "Mommy! Mommy! They have HOT water here!!!" Yep. Its a novelty now.

The weather is beautiful again, and we have a wonderful time at the zoo. We find some where to have a HOT meal. Then, we head to Franklin, TN.

Franklin is having a festival, so we hang out there for a bit. However, the festival was too crowded to be fun, so we then headed to my friend Raechel's house for a visit, and a hot shower.
We have a wonderful visit, and I have a wonderfully hot shower. The kids got to make new friends and ride in a super cool bike.

We had to leave, in my opinion, too soon. I always love visiting with these folks, but we had to get back before curfew. (Which was dusk to dawn for our community)

E and I play Pay Day. We both commented how we haven't played that game in years. Very fun.

O finally sleeps well and only wakes up once. I, however, am still not sleeping well. I miss my sound machine to drown out the sleep noises of dear E, barking dogs, etc.

Day 5: More feelings of gratitude

We head to McDonald's again- this time for breakfast. Everyone is pretty sick of peanut butter bread. Especially me. We decide to go past a friend's old subdivision (they moved to AK a few years ago) on our way.

I've never seen anything like this. Ever. Only a few houses are left standing. Houses very similar to ours. This tornado hit only 4 miles from our house.

(I know its hard to see, but this rubble used to be houses!)

We start to run out of undies and socks. So, I wash a load of laundry in the bath tub. Since that went so well, I decided to do one more load that we could hang outside to dry.

Its also the day that I clean out the fridge and freezer. We had a few things survive in my IL's deep freezer, but we lost everything else. But, in comparison to losing a house, I'll be happy to replace these things. They're just that: things.

In a positive light: my fridge and freezer haven't been this clean since we moved into our house 3 years ago.

We go out to eat with the IL's for dinner. Mexican. Yum!

E decides to go to work in a temporary set up office they have there. He leaves around 7. A starts throwing up around 8. Not really the most fun thing to do/clean up in the dark.

Day 6: The power comes on

We heard that Costco had power, so we head there. No samples, of course, but we get out of the house, and even get a cookie in the process. While we are there, my OB calls to ask if I want to come in for my appointment (they were closed on my original appointment day because of the power issue, too.) Since we are near there, we bring the whole crew.

While I'm back in the office, E takes the kids to the park. The nurse can't find Baby Bitt's heart beat with the Doppler. I tell her my last scan showed my placenta in the front. She goes to get my dr., who, on the way in, has to run to the hospital for a delivery. So, she calls in a NP. The NP tries for over 15 minutes to find the heart beat with no success. (I'm not scared, or worried. With time, and much effort, I can find it at home.) They whisk me off to an ultrasound.

At this point, I'm super excited! I'm hoping they can maybe peek at the gender. Well, I find out we're having a baby.............

Skeletor!

Seriously, though, the ultrasound tech isn't the sweetest person ever. She has the wand on my belly for a minute-tops. Didn't even try to get a good picture for me. (though, You can see the skull. Thus the name, Skeletor!) I keep peaking at the picture, wondering if those three lines down at the end of the abdomen are parts or leg bones. Still neat to see my baby again.

We get home and put Zeke to bed. I'm putting the dishes away when A notices that the lamp is on. Hurrah! We have power!

I's light is on in his room, so we turn that off. The first thing I do is take a nap. With my sound machine. Ahhh... Pure bliss.

Feeling extremely thankful for electricity, and, more importantly, a house that went undamaged. (Thank you, God, for keeping up safe!)

Mr. Brown Eyes

2011-04-23T20:19:00.000-05:00

I love Easter Chocolate, don't you?

His eyes remind me of that. yum!

Have a wonderful, and blessed Easter. The Lord has risen! Hallelujah!

The things on my mind

2011-04-17T15:35:00.000-05:00

Two things have been prevalent on my mind this weekend. One, is pretty minor, but comes with weird fears. The other, well, its sort of major, I guess.

The first- I have my first dental "work" appointment in over 10 years tomorrow morning. I have 3 cavities that have to be filled. Unfortunately, I've put them off for a while, (one time I cancelled because I chickened out, the next time because the RE didn't want me to have any work done until I was out of my first trimester. Which, as a total aside, I will be out of tomorrow. woot!) I have this weird fear that its going to hurt really bad. I mean, I've had stuff done before. In fact, one of the cavities is simply a place where an old filling fell out. But, its been so long that a little fear has set in, I guess. I have even been dreaming about it the last few nights. Logically, I know its not a big deal. Emotionally, I have a sick feeling in my tummy. I don't want to go!

The second- I have my Nuchal Fold scan on Tuesday morning at 11:30 CST. I wasn't really all that nervous about it until yesterday. I started to get a little concerned that it seems like I haven't grown much, belly wise, in several weeks. It seemed like I bloomed rather quickly in the uterus department, and now there hasn't been much change. Of course, I'm concerned that this means there is a problem. I'm sure its fine. (again, the logic part of me tries to reason with the emotional part.) But, there's always this little voice in my head that says things can always go wrong. The trick is trying to take that little voice and make the best of my life, versus sulking in fear. Right?

Anyway, if any of you feel so inclined to say a quick prayer for me for my NT scan on Tuesday, that would be so great. As for the dentist tomorrow, I plan to take a muscle relaxer before I go. (just teasing... I think.)

Our trip to florida

2011-04-14T15:35:00.000-05:00

I'm a horrible blogger. This trip took place over a month ago and I'm just now posting pictures. oh, well.

My great-uncle Bill and Aunt Ginny

some one is trying to escape.

picking grapefruit

our first day at the beach

I, me, E, my mom, my dad, my brother, his girlfriend, O and A

A at SEU (South Eastern University in Lakeland, FL. I went there my freshman year of college, and my little brother goes there now.)

SEU

"What to expect when you're expecting...again."

2011-04-04T17:11:00.000-05:00

Dear author of "What to Expect When You're Expecting",

Maybe you should consider the fact that women like to read during each of their pregnancies. Not just the first one. So when you write things like "you probably won't be showing, yet" or "you won't be able to feel the baby move for some time", you don't turn people like me off. Because, let's face it, I've been in maternity gear since before the pee had time to dry on the stick, and I'm pretty positive I can now tell the difference between fetal movement and gas. Maybe you should just write a new book, like "What to expect when you're expecting...again." Or, "So you're knocked up for the fourth time." Maybe "A Pregnancy Journal for a Woman Who's Had More Pregnancies Than Area Codes in Her State." (I have many more where those came from, too, but I'll spare you.)

Sincerely,
I'm still reading, but barely

p.s. I've included evidence of said "showing" that I'm not supposed to have yet according to your book.

10w 6d

Dear Zeke,
I know you're super proud of yourself for learning how to push our kitchen chairs around, then climbing up on them. However, I'm kind of over the climbing up on the table, counters, touching the stove, and getting into the closet, etc. You're more than welcome to stop doing that. Please.
Love,
your tired-of-freaking-out mommy

Dear Zeke part II,
Oh, and if you'd like to stop falling and hitting yourself in random places, I'd love that, too. You have enough bruises.
Love,
Can't-schedule-pictures-until-bruises-are-gone mommy

Dear weather,
you're a strange, strange thing. Sure, the weekend was beautiful. But, going from 83 degrees and sunny yesterday, to nasty storms today, to only 58 tomorrow is rough.
Yours truly,
Can't-put-the-sweaters-away-yet-and-want-to

Dear A,
please, pretty please, stop doing things you're not supposed to do. I'm tired of getting after you all of the time, and I'm sure you're tired of listening me get after you. I don't know if you're trying to get attention, so I am trying to make an effort to give you some positive attention. (Although, I doubt this is the case since you seem to be doing these things in private and trying to hide them.) Please stop and remember to think before you act.
Love,
tired-of-time-out-talks mom

Dear E.
Not looking forward to 50 hour work weeks. This means that I will 1. miss you a lot, or 2. miss your help a lot. I think maybe both equally some days, and more number 2 some others.
All of my love,
not-looking-forward-to-doing-this-alone wife

Dear Dr. C's office,
Please call me back and give me the correct phone number for my appointment for my Nuchal Fold scan Friday. I loathe making phone calls, and today was my scheduled day to do so. Seeing as how you gave me some random, funky, non-answering phone number I'm guessing that it is not the right one. Then, seeing as how you called me back with another number and I called THAT place, which has never heard of me, I'm guessing its messed up on your end again. I need that information so I can make yet, more, phone calls.
Regretfully,
the lady who-has-a-strange-phobia-of-calling-new-places

The kind of day

2011-03-28T15:18:00.000-05:00

its been the kind of day where
1. i decide to skip my Zofran because of the horrid side effects.
2. I splatter paint all over myself while closing a paint can.
3. I smoosh my MP3 player ear buds with my foot.
4. Austin spills dirt on my freshly mopped floor.
5. The baby dissolves into tears at the slightest provocation.
6. Its cold and rainy outside. Again. For the zillionth day in a row.

But, its also been a day where I listened to this for a good 10 minutes.

Sorry you can't actually see the BPM. I was trying to record it with my phone AND keep the Doppler in the perfect position. (If you desperately want to know, the heart rate was in the 180s.)

Scars

2011-03-24T15:49:00.001-05:00

Scars are interesting things. They tell stories of our wounds. They remind us of mistakes or hurts. They almost always stay with us our entire lives.

I don't have pretty scars. In fact, I scar really badly. They are always puffy, huge, and just generally icky looking. My stretch marks, (which are really scars) are the perfect example. Deep, puffy, and colorful.

One time, back in high school, I cut myself on a spring that came out of my parents couch. It cut the fleshy part of the back of my upper arm. It hurt, and it bled a tiny bit, but nothing that needed stitches and it was easily taken care of with a few band aids. It healed in a week or so. I STILL have a MASSIVE scar from that. Its still puffy, very pink, and, actually, its still tender.

My c/s scar is another example. A few of my friends have mentioned that their c/s scars have faded away. My c/s was over 6 years ago. The edges have faded but the center is still puffy, pink, and slightly painful if pressed/kicked/hit/shaved.

When I first had my c/s, it was very painful. The incision hurt like heck for a long time. Eventually, it stopped hurting so bad all of the time. It only hurt when I was on my stomach or did sit ups. Then, it stopped hurting unless I poked my incision site. Now, its only painful if it has direct contact with something sharp or hard.

It seems like my grief from losing all of our babies is similar. At first, it hurt all of the time. It hurt badly all. of. the. time. Then, after a little while, I would go a few days with out it crippling me. Then, a few weeks. Now, it seems it only creeps in when I come in direct contact with something hard.

I used to think that getting pregnant post-miscarriage and having a live baby would relieve my grief. But, unfortunately, it doesn't. It helps fade my scars, and it keeps me from thinking about them all of the time. But, those puffy, pink, deep scars will be with me the rest of my life.

You wouldn't think my own pregnancy would trigger grief and sadness. But, it does. When I look at the ultrasounds of our new precious baby, I'm reminded off all of the babies we never got to see. All of the babies we never got to hear heartbeats from. All of the babies we grieved over. All of the babies that are missing from our family.

So it seems, right now, something hard is pressing into my scars, and it hurts.

Isaiah 53:4-5

Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken,Smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.

More pictures

2011-03-22T15:28:00.000-05:00

7 weeks

9 weeks

we couldn't get a good "still" picture because the baby was moving. But, we got to hear the heart beat. Nice and strong, and FAST! :) 186 bpm.

I quit! (post I wrote before my announcement)

2011-03-22T15:25:00.000-05:00

I'm quitting my 10k training!

Its true.

Not because it was too hard.

Not because I wasn't enjoying it.

Not because I didn't think I could do it.

Not even because of my tailbone issues.

Nope, I'm quitting because I am in love.

I am in love with, this:

(Well, okay, maybe not the pregnancy test. But, definitely what it means.)

I'm still going to be running.

Not as far.

Not as intense.

Not as often.

But, for a good reason.

The final installment.

2011-03-22T12:07:00.002-05:00

Happy counting. :)

Dear Miss O

2011-03-08T07:45:00.000-06:00

You're 6 today! Its hard for me to believe, as it is every year it seems, that you are another year older! Not just a preschooler anymore, you are a little lady.

I still like to think about you like this.

While you are still rather tiny, you have grown into a beautiful girl. One who has my eye color, but generally still looks like a girl version of daddy.

At 6, you :

*love Kindergarten. You get sad when you have to miss for a dr. appointment or if you are sick.

*are still a bit anxious about things. If something doesn't go according to "plan" you tend to obsess over it.

*are very independant. You always have been, but this year it seems like you've become even more independent.

*are a leader. During your birthday party, just a few days ago, you were bossing your friends around. I asked you not to be too bossy, and one of your friends said "that's okay. Olivia's always the boss when we play." Its sort of funny to think about you being the boss of all of your friends when you are so little compared to them. I guess you have to make up for your size in personality.

*weigh 33 pounds and are 41 inches tall. Still a little petite thing. Its still hard to find you clothes, but you often wear them for more than one season. That part is nice. :)

*have a love/hate relationship with your middle brother. A can sometimes be your bestie, and other times it seems like you can't get along. I guess that's par for the course for being 16 months apart...

*love to read chapter books. We just finished The Little House on the Prairie for the second time. You love to read and you love to be read to.

*are all about the rules. Everyone.must.follow.the.rules.

*are so loved. By Mommy and Daddy, and by your brothers.

I look forward to what God has in store for you this year, baby girl. We love you. Happy 6th birthday!

Child labor/batch cooking

2011-02-28T16:34:00.000-06:00

One of my most dreaded parts of motherhood is making lunches. I know, I know. Its pretty easy. I try to get my act together at night and have them all ready before I go to bed. But, there are some nights when I just plain forget or I'm too tired.

I follow several couponing websites, and one mentioned batch cooking. I have never really gotten into making 9 casseroles and sticking them into the freezer for later use. Mainly because I get sick of eating that many of the same kind of casserole. Of course, there's the fact that E considers that "leftovers" no matter if you're eating them for the first time around or not.

Someone on that batch cooking post, commented that she does something similar for lunches. She makes several PB&Js, freezes them, then just pulls them out for lunches every day.

Coincidentaly, kids were hankering for something to do today. They tried to go outside, but it was too wet. They tried playing with play dough, but it was "too mixed up!" This particular project was on my agenda for today, so I thought I might let the kids have a whirl at it.

It was the BEST idea I've had all ~~day~~ week.

A sneak peak ((post I wrote before my announcement))

2011-02-28T15:25:00.003-06:00

I went to Dr. H today to get more blood work done. My HCG levels were 8477. Since I have been having pain in my lower right side, the nurse decided I needed an ultrasound.

Of course, they didn't tell me that when I called. I didn't find out until I was walking to the door to leave. I had both boys, and very little in the way of snacks and entertainment. Very little.

The nurse told me to go ahead and sit in the waiting room until a room was free. Normally, they are pretty Johnny-on-the-spot in that office. In fact, I brag constantly about how speedy they get me in and out. The number one evidence of my confidence in them would be the fact that I took both boys with me.

Of course, today had to be a day where everyone and their families were sitting in the waiting room. I felt horribly bad, seeing as how most of the women there have been struggling with IF. Very few women are there for RPL. So, here I am, blatantly waiving my fertility in their faces. I felt compelled to explain to several of the women around me. I know, I'm lame.

Moving along, the baby is in the uterus. That is excellent news. The nurse was worried that it might be an ectopic pregnancy that was causing my pain. According to my last menstrual period, I am 6 weeks today (though, when I'm on an un-medicated cycle, my ovulation date is about 4 days later than "normal".) The technician saw a gestational sac and a "hint" of a yolk sac that was developing.

She seemed very upbeat and positive, saying that everything is there that is "supposed" to be there. I, naturally, can't help but freak out just a teeny-tiny-tad. I go back in next week on Tuesday for another scan. The baby should be able to be seen by then.

Here's the baby. Isn't he/she sweet? That arrow is pointing at the "hint" of the yolk sac.

nothing to write home about

2011-02-21T07:31:00.000-06:00

Or, obviously enough, nothing to blog about, either.

I feel terrible. This blog is sort of my "journal" of sorts. my collection of thoughts to one day remind myself what it was like at this time in our lives.

Unfortunately, I've been so busy (okay, honestly, most of that is just me feeling busy and stressed) that I find it hard or unreasonable to sit down and blog. Not to mention the fact that every time I do decide to blog, I find my mind completely blank.

Which is how I find myself now. Blank mind.

So, for now, I'll leave you with some pictures of the kids playing outside. We've been having beautiful weather! I love it!

From Boy's jeans to frilly skirt, in less than 1 hour

2011-02-14T15:47:00.001-06:00

I've had this idea floating around in my head for a few weeks now. Probably since A put the 4th hole in a pair of pants that I had patched 3 times. Originally, i was just going to make it a denim skirt. Sew the crotch areas together and be done. But, the jeans kind of screamed "BOY!" so I needed a way to girl it up a bit. Hence the need for frills.

The entire project, from start to modeling, took less than an episode of Grey's watched on my computer. (why yes, I do sew at my computer desk... Its multi-purpose like that.) So, definitely less than an hour.

Boy's Jeans to Frilly Skirt

Materials:

1 pair of holey jeans

scissors

sewing machine

2 pieces of fabric, cut in a rectangle shape. (the width really depends on how many ruffles you want and how big your jeans are.) Mine were about 12 inches tall and 4 ft wide. I just used scraps from another project.

Start with your jeans. Cut just below the back pocket. Then cut out the inside seam apart. (I didn't photograph this. Sorry!)

I missed a few steps with the camera here, too. Take one of your fabric pieces and hem the bottom. Then, sew a very loose stitch close to the top (opposite the hem) of the fabric. Make sure to leave extra thread at the end (so don't clip your thread, yet!) Take one piece of the thread and gently pull, pushing the fabric gently down the thread to create a gathered effect.

It should look something like this:

Now, take the raw edges on the sides, and sew, right sides together, to make a circle of fabric.

Slip the fabric over the jeans, face down, with the hem up. Next, figure out where you want the first tier to start. sew, with right sides together, just above your gathering stitch (you don't want your gathering stitch to show.)

Flip it down to admire your work.

Repeat the process with the second tier.

Trim off extra denim underneath. Then flip your layers down and admire again.

Finally, get a super cute, almost 6 yr old, to model for you. (okay, so maybe this step isn't necessary...)

Tada! You made a frilly skirt from boy's jeans!

Dear

2011-01-31T07:56:00.000-06:00

One of my friends posts "dear" letters occasionally. Hers are short, sweet, and funny. Mine are a bit longer, but certainly gets it off my chest. :)

Dear dog-walking neighbor,
I know its inconvenient to pick up poo when your dog goes on the side walk. Trust me, I know. We used to have a dog. But, its a one-time inconvenience for you. When you leave it, its an inconvenience to me and my crew every time we walk on said side walk to and from the bus stop every day. So, what is that? Four times a day? Yeah. Its proving to be a little more than a simple inconvenience, especially when they step in it.
Do you need a bag? I have plenty. Maybe I should leave some outside for you. You know, so its more convenient for you.

Much love and puppy dog kisses,
Your sick-of-side-stepping poo neighbor

Dear Isaac,
I know you love to nurse. Especially at night. Thanks for being such a trooper these last few days as we started night weaning. Thanks, especially, for not hating me in the mornings like you so clearly do at night when I don't nurse you. It will get easier. I promise. In the meantime, maybe we should start a 12 step program for you.

Love,
your over-tired mommy

Dear Miss I-hate-all-people receptionist,
If I'm not mistaken, being a receptionist at a doctor's office does require some interaction with people. If you really hate the human race that much, maybe you should consider another line of work.

Sincerely,
the patient-who-simply-called-to-check-our-appointment-time

Dear A,
You are not as stealthy as you think. When sneaking food, you may want to consider throwing away the evidence when you are through. Believe it or not, I won't believe you when you say that Isaac got into that banana all by himself.

Love,
your grocery poor mother

Dear O-
I know you want Twinkle Toes. I know. I know. I know! We bought them for your birthday so BE PATIENT!

Love,
Can't spend $40 on girl's shoes just because.

Dear E,
You make me laugh. With your sense of humor, and your ability to fall asleep at 7:30.

Love,
your bored and lonely wife

Dear me,
Stop eating crap.

Love,
your future self

The Ham

2011-01-28T15:07:00.001-06:00

I asked A if I could take some pictures of him. He said "sure" and this is what he gave me.

Being the 3rd child means...

2011-01-25T16:58:00.000-06:00

...getting every illness known to man kind because your big siblings are notoriously bad at staying out of your face before they wash their hands.

...having built in play-mates.

...passing a googly eye with your BM.

...your mommy hardly raises an eyebrow upon seeing the eye in the BM (But does take a picture to show daddy later to have a good laugh.)

...getting things constantly ripped out of your mouth that are choking hazards. Like said googly eye. And Legos. And Polly Pockets. And the list goes on.

...getting to eat peanut butter waaaaay before your siblings did. Mainly because they feed it to you.

...having a mommy who is way more relaxed than someone who is a 1st child. (i.e. walking, talking, climbing, picky eating, not drinking milk.) You'll do whatever it is you're going to do when you are ready and when you want to do it.

...having a mommy who realizes how quickly you really do grow up.

...having siblings pull, prod, and dress you up like a girl.

...a mommy and daddy who will snuggle, rock, and smell your head when you are sick. (and love every minute of the snuggles!)

Staring me in the face

2011-01-20T14:49:00.000-06:00

We finally had Isaac's birthday party. On his 13 month "birth"day. Since we had to reschedule, I invited ALL of the 40 people I invited the first time (which was scheduled for right after Christmas, and only 4 people were coming the first time around) despite E's pleas. (seriously? Like I could un-invite people?) Since most of us had been snowed in all week, I think a lot of people were desperate to get out of the house.

My original plan for Isaac's birthday was to get cupcakes from a cupcake place here. That way, there wouldn't be a lot of left-overs. That plan changed. Seeing as I didn't want to make 40 cupcakes myself, (and I certainly didn't want to pay $3 a piece for them) I decided to order a Costco cake.

It turned out pretty darn cute. His party was snowman themed, so it worked. Plus, Costco cake is yum-o.

See the inside of it? Its like a whipped chocolate fluff.

Oh, so yummy. (Isaac thought so, too.)

See, here's the problem. The Costco cake said it would feed 35 people. We had 35 rsvp's. I kind of knew that some people wouldn't have cake, so there would be some left overs. However, I didn't realize that Costco does every thing in bulk. Including their cake "servings".

I have, at least, a quarter of that cake in my fridge. Staring me in the face. Daring me to eat it. Gosh, I think I hear it calling my name.

Did I mention I'm still trying to lose some weight? (not much, but I'm pretty sure the cake would be counter-productive to reaching my goal.)

Do they make fridge locks for adults?

Why I haven't blogged in a while

2011-01-17T07:27:00.000-06:00

We got 8, yes, 8, inches of snow down here in the south. Can you believe it?? Wild, huh? Anyway, school was out all last week. With all of our other activities cancelled, I had to come up with some new ways to entertain the masses.

The first two days we played outside. After that, it was too cold to really spend much time (with out the appropriate cold-weather gear) in the snow.

Here are some pictures from our first two days of adventures.

A peace in my heart

2011-01-07T07:45:00.001-06:00

Whenever any of my kids have been scheduled to have surgery, (yesterday was the 4th time. O had kidney reflux surgery, A had to be re-circumcised and, at a separate time, had his adenoids out.) I always start to wonder if we are making the right choice. Are the risks of the anesthesia outweighed by the benefit of the surgery?

Isaac's surgery went really well on Wednesday. When the ENT came back to talk to us he said that Isaac's ears were already 75% filled with fluid and were already infected. They were completely clear on Thursday afternoon when we went to see him. So, less than a week later, and he already had another infection.

Even though that bit of information may seem like bad news, it was actually very reassuring. It gave us complete peace in our decision. A confirmation that we did the right thing and made the right choice. With out this surgery, we would've been back to the pediatrician for another visit sometime yesterday or today.

I had prayed, right before Christmas, that God would make it abundantly clear that Isaac needed (or didn't need) the surgery. He not only made it clear before his surgery, but afterward as well. I think its kind of cool (and, really shows me His love) that he reaffirmed this decision for us.

Isaac's having surgery tomorrow

2011-01-04T14:45:00.000-06:00

My little man is getting some work done tomorrow. Tubes in, adenoids out.

He's had lots of ear infections in his short life time and he seems to be a good candidate for tubes. While we were at the ENT discussing tubes, they went ahead and did a head x-ray and discovered that his adenoids are very large for a baby his age. This may be one of the causes of all of his infections to begin with. So, those suckers are coming out!

Sick baby, after his antibiotic shot

A-man had his adenoids out at 18 months, and it was one of the very best things we had ever done for him. He felt so much better and was such a happier kid.

Not that Isaac isn't a happy kid, but I'd love for him to feel better. Oh, and to sleep better. (I think that's a given, though.)

A year goes by fast sometimes

2010-12-31T15:27:00.002-06:00

Same stocking, same baby, different sizes.

This will be funny some day

2010-12-28T07:54:00.000-06:00

Every time we spend time with my parents, someone gets sick. Last time, when we went to Michigan, O ended up in the ped's office with Reactive Airway Disease issues. The time before that, O had an ear infection. Once, my mom had RSV. Another, everyone got the stomach bug.

This visit- Isaac got croup on thursday night. We avoided the ped's office friday, since they just called in his meds. Friday night, he screamed a good portion of the night. He and I ended up spending over 3 hours in the nearest Urgent Care for his ear infections on Christmas day. He screamed for hours on saturday night as well. Yesterday, he started running a fever.

Christmas Eve, my mom threw up for a few hours. Along with Isaac's fever yesterday, O woke up with croup, and I woke up with a cold as well. My brother sounds like HE has croup, and my dad woke up today with a cold, too.

Its quite comical when I think back about how often we get sick when my parents are around. I can almost see the humor in it all now. Almost.