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My friends and I always joke about how, before infertility and miscarriages, we had no idea about how exactly our bodies worked or what hormone was which or what is a good level of hcg (or what hcg even was!) We had no idea you could or even should (or want to) take a pregnancy test early, or how addicting it is to pee on a stick.

So, for those of you who are in our place, let me fill you in a tad. My number from last friday, 8.5, was the concentration of the pregnancy hormone, HCG, in my system. In medical terms, anything over 5 is pregnant. Most pregnancy tests read at 20 and above, but a few read below (like First Response Rapid Response which has been tested at 6!)

Ideally, that HCG number will double every 48-72 hrs in early pregnancy. And you might often hear that its not the number that matters- in and of itself- its the doubling that matters. While very true, its still much better, in my opinion, to have a higher number on the onset of a pregnancy, it means that you have more of the hormone in your system. Which is good.

So, my number of 23.5 is a doubling time of 47.91 hrs (I used this handy calculator.) Right on the border of that 48 hr window. While I have to be honest and say that I wish that it was higher and that it had tripled instead of doubled, I'm still pleased. This is moving up, and not down. Its moving in the right direction!

Of course, this pregnancy is not a "sure thing" by any means. My last pregnancy doubled up to 50, then dropped like dead fly on the wall. Hopefully these injections that I'll be giving myself daily will help keep that baby safe and snug.

I feel like God has given me hope, and that's so precious to me. But, we can't stop praying!! Please keep praying!

real quick like

beta back: 23.5

starting Lovenox tonight.

more to come

Its never easy

So- I just got my results back.

8.5



Basically, the nurse said this can go either way (as I well know). I am indeed pregnant. However, my numbers are barely there. Progesterone was great, 24. All other levels were good, too. But that darn hcg level just doesn't want to work with us. Which is why the test was so light.

The nurse said its good that the progesterone is high: it means my body is trying to support this pregnancy.

I just have this horrible sinking feeling. I'm already starting to grieve because I can feel what's coming. The lighter, then darker, then lighter tests (the one from this morning was lighter than yesterday afternoon's) make me believe that this pregnancy has already ended.

The nurse said if this goes south, it will do so over the weekend. She doubted I'd start bleeding yet, since my progesterone is still quite high. But, if I do, I need to call them. *sigh*

If, by some miracle, this baby kicks it into gear on Monday, Dr. H will be putting me on some type of shot. I forget the name right now. But, I guess its a medicine that you have to stick with. Once you go on it, you can't come off of it until the second trimester. They want to make sure the baby is viable first.

Here I am again. In this same position I've been so many times now. Waiting on God to do something miraculous.