One of my friends posts "dear" letters occasionally. Hers are short, sweet, and funny. Mine are a bit longer, but certainly gets it off my chest. :)
Dear dog-walking neighbor,
I know its inconvenient to pick up poo when your dog goes on the side walk. Trust me, I know. We used to have a dog. But, its a
one-time inconvenience for you. When you leave it, its an inconvenience to me and my crew
every time we walk on said side walk to and from the bus stop every day. So, what is that? Four times a day? Yeah. Its proving to be a
little more than a simple inconvenience, especially when they step in it.
Do you need a bag? I have plenty. Maybe I should leave some outside for you. You know, so its more
convenient for
you.
Much love and puppy dog kisses,
Your sick-of-side-stepping poo neighbor
Dear Isaac,
I know you love to nurse. Especially at night. Thanks for being such a trooper these last few days as we started night weaning. Thanks, especially, for not hating me in the mornings like you so clearly do at night when I don't nurse you. It will get easier. I promise. In the meantime, maybe we should start a 12 step program for you.
Love,
your over-tired mommy
Dear Miss I-hate-all-people receptionist,
If I'm not mistaken, being a receptionist at a doctor's office does require
some interaction with people. If you really hate the human race that much, maybe you should consider another line of work.
Sincerely,
the patient-who-simply-called-to-check-our-appointment-time
Dear A,
You are not as stealthy as you think. When sneaking food, you may want to consider throwing away the evidence when you are through. Believe it or not, I won't believe you when you say that Isaac got into that banana all by himself.
Love,
your grocery poor mother
Dear O-
I know you want Twinkle Toes. I know. I know.
I know! We bought them for your birthday so BE PATIENT!
Love,
Can't spend $40 on girl's shoes just because.
Dear E,
You make me laugh. With your sense of humor, and your ability to fall asleep at 7:30.
Love,
your bored and lonely wife
Dear me,
Stop eating crap.
Love,
your future self