Thursday, November 10, 2011

Parenting FAIL

I had a parenting fail today.  F.A.I.L 

My morning was a little crazy today. 

It didn't start off that way.

No.  In fact, it was pretty calm and relaxed. 

I got the big kids off to school.  Isaac was watching cartoons, while I was enjoying a cup of coffee.

The phone rings.

It's the school nurse (again.  3rd time this week.)

A's had an accident.  He needs to come home and take a shower.

It's 8:20.  I have to leave at 9:00 to take Isaac to school.

Crap, I say to myself..  I haven't gotten Eliza dressed. 

Isaac's lunch isn't packed. 

Can I wear my slippers to pick him up?

Then comes the anger. 

This is his 4th accident in two weeks.  (The first 3 were #1.  This was #2.)

We've been to the dr. and nothing is wrong.  He's either 1. Lazy or 2. Scared to ask his teacher

He won't tell me what happened.  Or when it happened. 

He's laughing, thinking it's fun to go home and take a shower in the middle of the day.

I lose my patience.  I ask him again what happened and when.

He suddenly "can't talk" because his "throat is scratchy."

Lies.  All lies. *sigh*

Patience lost again.

Urge him to take a shower quickly.  Fast!  We've GOT TO GO!

Take him back to school, where I realize he's embarrassed.

It's at this point that I am, too.  My behavior until now was atrocious. 

I was thinking about how he inconvenienced ME.

Not at all about how embarrassing it would be for HIM.

I feel like crying.  I totally failed.


Sorry buddy


Mommy Daisy said...

Oh Tracy, we've all been there. I can tell you I would have been upset too. But you are aware that it made yu angry and can learn from that. That's how a good parent acts. You're a great mom.

Kristin said...

We have all been there in some way or another. Just this morning I had to leave ultra early to go almost 2 hrs for a meeting for work so my husband was incharge. Our son who is training now and has pretty few accidents went "missing" and right as they were about to walk out the door...almost late...hubby realizes that Elijah peed himself again. Its like he gets too busy or something because I know he knows the "urge". Husband told me he got really upset and now feels total guilt and can't wait to spend time with him tonight making it right! :) Hopefully tomorrow is a better day for all of you! And don't beat yourself up any more!!

d e v a n said...

Aww, don't beat yourself up about it. You had a hard day today too. ((hug))

Susan said...

I personally think it's deeply important for our kids to see us make mistakes, acknowledge them, address them, and move on. So take the opportunity to talk to him about it, tell him that you're sorry and why you're sorry, and then let it go.

Is it possible that this is Eliza-related, by the way? When Fiona was born, Lucie had been potty trained for more than a year, but she started peeing her pants (like, ALL DAY LONG) for about a week and a half, and then...stopped. This time around, Fiona's sort of doing the same thing--not as much as Lucie did (it's more like once every 2-3 days) but it definitely started shortly after the baby was born. Maybe it's their way of exerting a little control when they feel like they've lost it, or maybe it's to redirect some of our attention to them.

This time around, Lucie isn't doing anything quite like them--nothing bathroom related, that is--but I can definitely tell that she's having to adjust to Ingrid joining our family. Even though she LOVES the baby, and even though she begs me to have "three more" babies, she's sometimes doing things like suddenly refusing to walk out the door when our carpool arrives to pick her up for school, or refusing to buckle her carseat. Again, I think it's a combination of her trying to regain a little control, and her asking for more attention.

Anyway, it's okay for you to feel irritated and angry, in my opinion, about having to go pick up a kid (and his poop), clean him up, and return him. But if you weren't as gracious as you think you should have been, apologize to him. You'll teach him a lot about grace and humility, and I'm almost certain it will leave a more lasting impression than being a little huffy or telling him to hurry in the shower.

Sarah said...

Oh Tracy, I feel your pain in every single way with this! WE have been such never ending potty training struggles with Eli ever since Jameson was born, and while I was sympathetic at first, hello, it's been over a year, buddy! Now I just feel like it's this bad habit of laziness, or of enjoying the attention or something. And yes, I am very guilty of occasionally just losing it because I am so.tired. of washing underwear and changing clothes and having to cut errands short because he's had an accident and needs to go home to change.
I honestly don't know what the answer is, but all we can do is stay patient somehow, I guess. And remind them how much they owe us when they get older, amiright? :)

Stacey said...

Man Tracy, the fact that you recognize when you fail is enormous. We ALL do it, but there are many that never look at it through the kids perspective. As Susan said, teaching your children about grace and humility is vastly important and when they see that you are as imperfect as they are it might be an easier lesson.