Tattle Tailing

 Tattling.  Dude.  My kids.  They've got it bad.

You know that song "basketball jones" (the Space Jam version.  I am a child of the early 90s after all. ;) ) When I first heard that song, I didn't really know what a basketball jones was.  I asked my dad and he told me a jones was, essentially, a strong craving for something. An obsession.

That.  That's what my kids are like with tattling.  Like they are obsessed with it.

Everything I've read says to ignore.  Ignore.  IGNORE.

Check. Check. Check.

To the point where I don't even respond.  I don't even look at them.

Usually its a back and forth.

"Mommy!  O said my hair looks funny!"
"But, he said I'm stinky!"
"But, then she was going to punch me!"

"Mommy!  A said I'm a booger face!"
"Isaac was messing up my stuff!"

I can't even remember the last time some one worked it out on their own.  Of course, when it comes to the important stuff, like Eliza standing on the dining room table or Eliza eating markers, or Isaac painting the bathroom with toothpaste, that gets ignored.  No one tattles on that.

All of the stuff I've read is really geared towards young kids.  Obviously, I still want them to tell me somethings (like above mentioned activities, or if some stranger was trying to touch them, etc.)

So.  What do you do with this?  What do you do in your house?  Hurry.  Because Mommy is starting to jones for some wine.  (The grape kind, not the kid kind.)

Catching up

New things:

#1: Isaac turned 3. As in three years ago he was a teeny tiny newborn.  Who looked like this:

Now? He's such a ham I can barely get a picture of him.  But, he looks like this for a professional photographer:

 

Cute, no?  Still has those deep, dark, chocolate brown eyes. He's 50% in weight and 15% in height (more on that in the next number.) 

#2. O will be having her MRI done this Sunday afternoon to check her pituitary gland.  From there, we'll come up with a treatment plan for her growth hormone deficiency.  We'll also start keeping an eye on Isaac's height.  Anything under 10% will start getting some attention.  (He's still young, so he can still catch up.)  We've talked with her about how she'll have to sit still for 30 minutes in the loud machine.  I'm hoping they have fancy goggles with a tv in them like they do at our children's hospital in HSV.

#3 We thought we were having a travel free Christmas.  Until we found out my grandpa, who lives in N.C.,  isn't doing so hot.  He's lost a lot of weight and just isn't real thrilled to be living.  The last time we saw him, I was 4 weeks pregnant with A.  So, 7 years ago.  My parents and my uncle and aunt and their two kids will be going as well.  We figured we should go when other people are going.  it isn't very fun there (he's in an assisted living home) and there isn't much to do.  Not time like the present, right?

#4 We're having some behavior problems with one of our kids. We're really struggling with how to discipline.  It feels like nothing is working.  *sigh*  I keep trying to tell E that I think its from a lot of the attention on O's health the last year, since this is when the unwanted behaviors started.  I don't know.  I'm this close [___] to taking the child to the therapist to see if they could get to the bottom of it all.  I don't know how to help and it's really a crappy feeling.

#5  I've had a cough for almost two weeks.  No other real symptoms.  just a stupid, dumb, keeps-me-up-at-night cough.  I hate to call the doctor for just a cough, but yet my cough syrup box says if you have a cough for more than 7 days to call your doctor. 

#6. Eliza- she's a handful.  This is not new news.  But, it pretty much sums her up.

Experience rules

In my parenthood journey, I've learned there are a few general rules.  I thought it might be helpful to pass that wonderful wisdom on to those naive less experienced parents who have yet to have these delightful rules apply.

1. Never, ever, EVER say "Oh, I'll never do_________" (you fill in the blank with whatever it is you think you'll never do as a parent.)  Guess what?  You almost always do it.  "I'll never sleep with my baby."  "I'll never let my child walk around with a sippy cup"  "I'll never let my baby only wear a diaper and shirt!" (ahem. last one was one of mine.) 

 

 Eliza: Queen of the t-shirt and diaper look.



 

 

2. Related to number one is rule number two.  Don't judge, (other parents) lest you be judged (by other parents).  "My child will NEVER behave like that in the store!"  "Sheesh!  Can't that mom stop her toddler from pushing my toddler down?"  "gosh, that child sure talks to her mom with an attitude for a 5 year old.  she must learn that at home."  Sure, your 9 month old may not be into pushing, tantrum throwing, or attitude talking.  But, trust me, they will grow into those things.  Quicker than you think, too.  Your child will be THAT child, smashing the bread in your grocery cart on purpose because he's mad.  Your child will be mean to other kids at some point.  My, then, 16 month old got into "trouble" at church almost every week for pushing kids down.  She was, by far, the smallest child in the class.  Weighing only 16 lbs.  But, she felt the need to display her dominance (or make up for her short stature.  Who really knows what goes through an 16 mth old's little head.) by pushing much larger kids down to the ground and saying a silent "boo ya!" 

 

 

O: World's smallest bully

 

 



3. Bragging and/or complaining publicly about something your child is doing will result in a negating of such activity.  For example, saying "yes, she does sleep through the night" (even with out "bragging") will likely result in your baby waking up 8 million times the following night.  "My child is potty trained!"  will, in the same manner, produce 15 accidents the next day, or, even more humiliating, a poop accident in his pants 5 minutes later.  (Better yet, is the pooping in the corner in his room a year after being potty trained.)  Reversely, tweeting "my baby won't stop crying!" will probably be the magic trick!  Thus forcing you to type a follow up tweet saying "never mind. #babyisbipolar" 

World's cutest room pooper

4.  The doctor rule:  Your child will be very sick at home.  Running a fever, fussing, and general malaise.  When you arrive at the doctor, with 4 kids in tow,  have paid your co-pay, and your child's fever will miraculously disappear.  she will be all non-sick smiles, flirting with the blond haired boy across the waiting room.  The pediatrician will, consequently, find absolutely nothing wrong with your child.  (Say good-bye to your $25 on your way out the door. )

 

 

Its $25 co-pay each child?!?

5.  Your mom really does know a thing or two about babies.  After all, she had you. So maybe she's not up to date on the current crib recalls, but she knows a thing or two about what babies love.  I remember fervently telling my mom that, under no circumstances, would O be rocked to sleep.  Not even by a visiting Mimi.  When I say no circumstances, I meant it.  Even when my mother was visiting us after I brought O home from the hospital.  As in, O was a teeny tiny newborn, who likely had no idea she was being rocked versus in the car.   (I think I read it in a book that you shouldn't associate sleep with rocking. You know, because books are perfect and all.) My mother, gently, told me how full of crap I was  I'd probably change my mind.  Which, I did.  (Not with O, but by A I was a rocking maniac.)

Zeke: Rock, rock, rocking on Heaven's door

So, there are my top five "rules" of motherhood.  Any more that you'd add? 

So, when is it a new recipe?

I have a bad habit of changing recipes.  (Mostly due to lack of original ingredients.  aka PLANNING!)  To the point, sometimes, that they are barely recognizable as the original thing.  I contemplate whether or not to keep the recipe and realize that I have to make a ton of edits in order for it to be the same the next time I make it.

I made this amazing pork dish the other day.  Its original name was Barbacoa Beef.  Already I'm sure you can see a major difference in the basic ingredients.  I don't want to take credit away from some one who created the original recipe, but, at the same time, I would like to recommend it the way *I* made it. 

So, here it is:

My recipe for Barbacoa Pork, based loosely off this Barbacoa Beef recipe.

Ingredients:

3 lbs pork loin roast  (really, any hunk of pork)
5-7 cloves of garlic
1 medium onion
1/2 lemon and its juice
2 Jalapenos
3 tbsp of chopped cilantro
1 1/2 tbsp ground cumin
1 tbsp chili powder
salt
freshly ground black pepper
3 bay leaves


Directions:


~Place garlic, onion, lemon juice, cumin, chili powder, jalapenos, and cilantro in a blender or food processor.  Blend into a paste (or liquid).


~Place your hunk-a-hunk of burning pork into a sprayed crock pot (I use olive oil in a fancy spritzer thing instead of Pam.) 

~Rub your meat down with your paste.

~Throw in the bay leaves and lemon half (after being juiced, of course)

~Add a dash of S&P.

~Turn that bad boy on high and walk away.  My frozen** hunk of meat took 6 hours on high and 2 on low. It was cooked to perfection. 

~Shred the meat and serve in a nice, warm tortilla with all of your favorite toppings- Chipotle or Moe's style.  Olives, cheese, cilantro, salsa, sour cream, guac, black beans, etc.  OR, do what we did, and serve it up as a salad.  (I did add some more cumin to the top of mine and E's.  I didn't want it to be too spicy for the kids.)

There you have it.  My version of a chipotle beef, but with pork and jalapenos.


**If you know me well, you will understand why my meat was frozen.  I suck at organization and pre-planning that the laying out of the meat necessitates.

An Advice post

So, share with me your expertise. What do you do when your child back talks? Does it work?

Do you use soap?
Time outs?
Send her to her room?
Hot sauce?
Spankings?

I'm listening intently to what you have to say.