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Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

right now

I'm in my pajamas.
Its 9:16.  Its a little late for jammies, but I'm calling it a "jammy day", at least for now.
Making small piles for our trip to Michigan.
I'm writing a to-do list on a piece of paper that has a rhino on it holding a balloon.  It adds character.
I'm freaking a little anxious about the timing of my next client's birth. E is going to be going out of town a lot the next few weeks.  You know, during her 38-40 weeks, of course.
Adding "find back up child care" to my rhino list.
Scouring pinterest for ideas for road trips.
Drinking coffee that's a touch too cold.
Wondering if its too late for breakfast.
Maybe I'll just have a brunch.
Listening to Eliza play in her room and talk to her babies via the monitor.
Almost dying from the cute.
Have a heating pad wrapped around my middle.
Certain that sometimes I hate being a woman.
Contemplating an ablation or hysterectomy when we're *sure we're finished having babies (*which is how, by the way?!?)

Friday, October 19, 2012

A year

Its amazing how quickly a year can go by.  (It always seems so much faster when the kids are really little.  Maybe because they change so much in a year?)
 
 
From this:
 
 
To this:

 
Inside, night time pictures are never good.  I'm glad I got a few earlier in the day.

Guys, this girl.  She melts me heart.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Bubbles and bellies

Our big kids had fall break this past Thursday, Friday, and Today.  Since E had to work all of those days, we decided to take the kids to do something fun on Saturday.  We headed to Birmingham bright and early, stopping at a doughnut shop in Culman first (um, yum!  Haven't had one in ages and the one I did have was still warm.  heaven.)

We spent most of our morning/early afternoon at the McWayne Science Center.  We had free passes for the kids, so we made out pretty cheaply (well, $24 for all of us.)

Most of the museum was pretty dark, so I couldn't really get any pictures.  The bubble exhibit, however, was right in front of some windows, so I got a few. 






My favorite picture of the day: 

 All three kids trying to make a bubble.





It was a fun day.  2 of the 3 kids fell asleep on the way home and slept most of the time.  The other kid, A, listened to a book on CD.  E and I actually had some conversation time.  Which was nice. :)

I had an OB appointment today.  38 weeks.  Unfortunately, nothing has changed since last week's appointment.  Not a gosh.dang.thang.   Not that I'm having a hard time or anything. ;) 

Patience is not a virtue of mine.  Well, I'd like it to be, but I tend to get anxious and worry.  About stupid stuff, too.  *sigh*  Anyway, here's a picture from before my appointment.


I have lots on my mind today, all mostly baby related.  However, A has a birthday party to attend, and I need to get the littlest down for a nap.  Since nothing is going on baby wise, I'm sure I'll have time to blog more tomorrow. ;)

Friday, September 23, 2011

A Quilt, my Belly, and other things

I finally got around to piecing together that quilt I mentioned in this post. I wanted to use up my scraps, as well as make something that went with all of the fabric in the room.  If you know my sewing style, I'm not on much for actual "patterns" or quilt styles.  Its too, um, formal for me.  So I laid out all of my larger scraps on top of my backing piece and my batting and sort of just pieced it all together. 

There was a point where I was about to throw the entire quilt out the window.  That point was towards the end, too.  Isaac kept crawling in my lap while I was sewing and I screwed up an entire line.  That one long stitch took me almost 2 hours to take out.

But, it's finished now.  Whew. 
Part of the quilt.  Not sure if I'm going to regret the satin fabric...

 The binding is half brown and half the brown/white fabric.  This picture has the quilt folded in on the top right corner so you can see the backing, too.


Since I uploaded some pictures from my camera, I found a few belly pictures I thought I'd share. 

This one is 34 weeks, taken right before my baby "sprinkle" that my friend D threw me.

A took this one for us.  We realized later that E's shirt was unbuttoned.  Classy.
 
These are from Monday- 35 weeks.


As a complete and utter unrelated topic, have I mentioned how much I hate staying home all day?  Isaac woke up sick last night, so we've been quarantined today.  I hate it!  I get so restless and have cabin fever!  I made an attempt to leave the house this morning, to get Zeke some medicine for his fever, but he fell asleep in the car before we even left the subdivision.  So, I made a loop and came back home.

Speaking of crazy things.  I am slowly packing my bag for The Girl's birth.  E asked me yesterday if I had packed for him.  I told him no, and he said "oh, never mind.  I'm sure we won't be in a rush to get to the hospital with how long your labors are.  I can pack then."  Thanks for that reminder, babe.

One more update to add to my hodgepodge.  We finally chose a first name for The Girl!  I'm about to bust at the seams!  I want to tell someone in a bad way.  It's probably a super good thing that we choose names late in the game.  Otherwise, I may not be able to keep it a secret. ;)  O keeps asking what her name is.  We'd tell her, but the last time we told the kids a secret (that I was pregnant) they blurted it out to my parents on the phone.  So, we're staying tight lipped.  E keeps telling the big kids that we're going to name her "George".  They think that's nonsense, and laugh hysterically.  Isaac, however, keeps saying "Baby George!"  It may end up her nickname.

Monday, September 12, 2011

I have no energy nor desire

I want to relay some information for those of you who care.  However, I'm not feeling so hot right now.  I've got a sore throat and a headache.  So, instead of a well-put together post, you get bullets.  Or asterisks.

*My good friend Devan (I'd link up to her blog if I wasn't so lazy) threw me an ah-mazing baby shower yesterday.  It was just unbelievable.  Cute decorations, awesome food, fun friends, and amazing gifts.  On top of all of that, she made me a diaper cake AND got me a massage gift certificate.  I think I love her. (Well, I already knew I did, but it just reinforced it.)

*I had a panic moment in my bathroom yesterday, getting ready for the shower.  I kept thinking "no one will show up".  I asked E when I'd stop caring if people like me.  He replied "I don't think YOU ever will."  Fine.  I see your point.

*Thankfully, almost everyone showed up.  Which was just wonderful, since I haven't seen a few of those girls in ages.  It was so wonderful and I left feeling so loved and blessed to have such amazing women in my life.

*Today was doctor appointment day.  I had an OB appointment at 9, and Zeke had a sick visit at 11:30.  We left the house at 8, and didn't get back until 12:30.

*I rested for a few minutes after I got Isaac into bed for a nap.  When he woke up, my throat was SO sore, and I had/have a bad headache.  Of course, this happened AFTER we went to the dr.  Sheesh.

*Good news, over all, from the OB.  Baby girl is head down, and her head is low.  Yippee!  I was a little afraid, for a while, that she might be transverse.  The last few days, I have felt her hiccups down low, so I was feeling a tad better.  But, it's good to know that she is, in fact, head down.

*Baby girl must have had a growth spurt.  Last appointment I gained zero pounds in two weeks.  This appointment, I gained 4 lbs AND measured 2.5 weeks ahead.  (Last week, I was about .5 weeks "behind" .  which, really isn't "behind".  I know, its confusing.)  I refuse to think that the weight gain was from my eating of baby shower cake yesterday.  nope.  can't be. ;)

*Unfortunately, it seems as if my upper back pain is likely to be a kidney stone.  Fun.  I mean, it's not completely a surprise.  I had 2 with O's pregnancy, a few after that, and one during Isaac's pregnancy.  But, it just isn't my favorite past time.  I did get a script for Percacet if I need it.  If I don't have any issues before the baby is born, we'll just use it after delivery.

*I hired my doula.  Did I tell you guys that?  She's awesome.  I met with her a few weeks ago with Isaac in tow so we didn't finish everything.  I can't wait to meet with her again (sans Isaac) and get some more things "planned".

*The weather seems to be cooling down a little bit.  At least our morning walks to school are cooler.  I actually wore a T-shirt today, instead of my usual tank top. I know, I know.  It's down-right chilly. :)

*There are some things going on with O that we could use some prayers for.  It's nothing scary, but definitely things that need to be worked out now, while she's 6.  I'll share in more detail another time. It's the kind of topic that needs an entire blog post.

*My friend Devan and I are going away for a girl's night this Friday.  I cannot wait. 

*we still do not have a name for miss baby.  Ack!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Even in my dreams

Birth has been on my mind a lot lately.  For obvious reasons in terms of myself.  But, I've had some friends recently give birth, and some about to have babies any time. 

Something else that has been on my mind is names.  Not just any names, but a name for our baby.

I should preface this whole post by telling you that E and I take for.ev.er to name our kids.  O was the earliest.  Maybe around 30 weeks.  A was 36 weeks.  I was named just days before we had him.  I'm totally not a "let's wait to see what they look like" kind of person, either.  I like to paint letters to hang on the wall, I like to get things monogrammed.  I like to KNOW what to call my baby, even if we don't share it with anyone else until they are born. 

So, true to form, this baby girl does not have a name.  We've gone through the baby books.  We've posted on name blogs.  I have several that I could "go with" and one that is my favorite.  E, on the other hand, likes nothing.  Nothing is "grabbing him" and he's not "in love" with any name.  Which makes it particularly hard to decide.

So this name thing has been on my mind, along with birthing.  It's no surprise that I had a dream about it all last night.  In my dream, I delivered a healthy baby girl, with blond hair, at 36 weeks.  It was a short labor (this, in itself, is a total dream. ha!) and she arrived with out complications.  But, whenever people asked us her name, I could never understand what we told them.  It was just jabbering.  People seemed to like the name, whatever it was.  But, I could never grasp what it was we actually named her. 

Apparently, even in my subconscious, we can't decide on a name.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Oh Dear! again

Dear I'm-going-to-throw-my-gum-wherever-I-may-please,
If you insist on throwing your gum in the parking lot, you will have to take care of the consequences.  You now how 2 pairs of shoes to clean up for me.  Please call me and we'll arrange a time for you to do this.
Thanks,
Sick of sticky shoes

Dear Self-
Never, ever, EVER try to make bias tape out of a super stretchy knit fabric again.  It will not end well, and will likely result in lots of tears.  (Thankfully, no one but E and I will see that home made miracle blanket up close anyway.)
Love,
I hate taking out seams

Dear Consignment sale,
Please sell lots of my baby clothes so I can pay for the new ones I'm buying.
Thanks so much,
loving-the-girl-stuff

Dear Isaac,
I love that you're getting more words (seriously, people!  He's totally rocked his speech therapy!  over 20 words now, and he said ZERO 4 months ago.) but would love it even more if you could kick "no, thank you" to the top to learn next.  The incessant grunting of "uh-uh", while cute, is a little rude.
Fondly,
your also-add-"yes"-if-you-can mommy

Dear O and A,
You guys are so awesome and fun!  I love hearing about your days at school and everything you're learning.  Please don't ever stop telling me all about it.
Always,
Mommy

Dear O,
I know you hate handwriting.  I know your teacher makes you do it "too long" every day.  Unfortunately, you're a lefty, and your handwriting may need a little extra work through out the years.  It happens. 
Sincerely,
can't-remember-the-last-time-I-had-to-hand-write-something

Dear E,
So glad to have you home!  Please don't leave me again.  Please.  And, just so you know, I cannot help it if I am jealous that you get to go to Hawaii for work.  I also may not be completely "happy" for you.  Especially since baby girl will only be a month old when you go.
Fondly,
I-wannnnnnnnnnaaaa-go-too!

Dear baby girl,
If you could just somehow relay the message to daddy that the name *I* have chosen is an awesome name, that'd be great.  Also, maybe tell him you don't want to be named Jennifer, Jessica, Cathy, or Amy.  While all good names, you are not 30.
Love and belly rubs,
I-want-to-name-you-soon

Thursday, August 11, 2011

You win some, you lose some

Win: Not having to wait long to see the OB because it's glucose tolerance testing day.
Lose: Failing said test and having to wait 3.5 hrs for the 3 hr glucose test.
(ETA: I just got the call that I passed the 3 hr test, so I guess that's a win, too!)

Win: A loves Kindergarten!
Lose: He's been exhausted every day this week.  So much so, we've moved his bedtime up to 6:15.




Win: Isaac's new nap schedule.  He's been sleeping 2+ hrs.
Lose: We've been having to lay down with him to get him to sleep/stay in his bed.  Only for naps, but still not great for October when the new baby arrives.

Lose: E traveling for work again soon.
Win: Lots of time in the evening to sew/craft/work on consignment stuff.

Win: My littlest's love of blueberries.  I love to hear him say it, and I love watching him eat them.
Lose: Blueberry diapers.  Enough said.

Lose: Having a family member say "How many weeks do you have left?" then, after I reply, responding with "wow!  You're just going to get bigger?  I mean, you're already big!"
Win: Having someone ask how many weeks I am, then responding with "wow!  you're so tiny!"

Win: Having an awesome OB who schedules your appointments on Mondays since that's her "day on call" and she knows me and my labor history (went into labor with A and I the same day as my appointments)
Lose: Finding out that Awesome Dr will likely be on vacation when I deliver baby girl.  Possibly not, I suppose, but probably so. (She'll be gone the week I'm 37-38 weeks. O and A were 38 wks, I was 37.)

Win: Having a child who is super creative and smart.
Lose: Having a child who is super creative and smart, thus coming up with a way to stuff 10 pennies into our van's cassette deck.

Win: posting pictures from the first day of school.
Lose: No lose.  This one's win-win.





Friday, July 29, 2011

A little bit of randomness

  • I burnt two fingers on my left hand with the iron yesterday.  I set it directly on my hand.  Pregnancy brain, anyone?
  • E thinks I've been "nesting", but really, I'm just trying to prepare as much as I can before I get 1.too uncomfortable and 2. before school starts and I have even less time.
  • Baby girl's nursery is almost finished!  My mom is making the crib skirt, and I have plans for a baby blanket/quilt with the scraps.  I think it looks fabulous! I promise to share pictures, soon!  Here's a teaser.

  • We've spent very little time at the pool this year with out E.  I just don't feel up to handling watching the bigger 2 kids in the deep end, and keeping track of a wild-totally-has-no-fear toddler in the immense heat.  I promise to do better next summer. (As long as baby girl is not walking...)
  • My little brother went and grew up and got engaged!  My brother, D, and my future SIL, R are planning a May wedding as of now.  Aren't they cute?

  • We looked, very briefly, into flying all of us out to the wedding (since Mapquest put it at 14 hrs for a drive, with out stops.) Then, we quickly realized that flying 5 people, renting a car, then paying for a hotel, plus 2 dresses and a tux just weren't going to happen.  Maybe there's something fun to do between here and Pennsylvania to make the trip more intersting.
  •   My heartburn/acid reflux has gone from controlled to uncontrollable.  I started Prevacid when I was 19 weeks and it worked great!  Until 2 weeks ago.  I've been miserable.  I cut out caffeine, pop, and eating big meals.  I talked to the pharmacist today, and she pretty much said that there isn't much else I can do. *sigh*  Before I complain too much, I would like to say that I am SO grateful that I never had this with my first 3 kids.  1 pregnancy is enough.
  • No, we don't have a name for the baby, yet. (Although, if it was up to me, we would. ;))
  • A friend's husband died last night after a freak fall that lead to cardiac arrest.  I have never even met him before, but I am so sad and heartbroken for my friend.  Her daughter is O's age, and her son is A's age.  E is at a conference tonight, and I just want to hug him- for a really long time. 

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Oh, you *must* coupon!

Dental Hygienist (which, from now on, I will address as H): When is your baby due?

Me: In October

H: How nice!  Is this your first?

Me: No.  It's my fourth.

H: Fourth?!?  Really?  Were they ALL planned?

Me: Um....  I mean, we, um, always wanted four kids.

H: Really?  Four?  That seems like a lot.

Me: Yeah.  My husband and I only have one sibling between the two of us. We wanted a big family.

H: So your done after this one, right?

Me: yes, as far as we know.  We wanted four kids.

H: I could never have that many.  I just don't know how you do it.  Like the Duggars.  They have too many, in my opinion.

Me: well, it would be hard.

H: So, do you stay at home?

Me: Yes.

H: Oh, you must coupon, then!

Me: A little, I guess.  I'm not crazy with it it, but I try.  I have friends who are much better at it than me.  I just don't have time or the energy with 3 kids to run from store to store.
 
H: Oh, I don't do coupons.  I don't have time, either.  But, I do shop at night.

Me: After the kids go to bed is normally when I run/walk.

H: I get up at 4:30 to do that.  Wait.  You still run?  I'd be scared to death something would happen.

Me: I just stopped running around 20 weeks.  I still sneak in a few minutes here during my walks.

H: Here comes the Dr.  (to the dr) Dr. C!  Guess what!  This is her FOURTH baby!  Her FOURTH!

End horrific, uncomfortable scene.

(I can hardly restrain myself from posting the snide remarks I was making in my head.  I'm sure you can imagine them, too.)

Sunday, July 3, 2011

"...they're cousins. Identical cousins all the way."

My cousin K and I grew up very close to each other.  My parents said we used to fight like siblings, (and this I actually remember quite well, so it must be true.)  Up until we were teenagers, we also looked very similar.  My dad used to sing us the Patty Duke intro song, Identical Cousins, whenever we'd end up with matching outfits. 

Anywho, while we were on our Michigan trip, my cousin K got to come to my parents house and spend a little time with me (and cut some hair for Zeke and I.)

She's pregnant, too.  With a girl.  Due about 3.5 weeks before me. Neat, huh?




(she was 26.5 weeks here, and I was 23. I also realize that you cannot see my eyes in these pictures because I was a little over enthusiastic about smiling.)

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Two different worlds

Tomorrow, at 1:00 pm CST, E and I will head to the OBGYN and have our anatomy scan done for this little baby bit growing in my uterus.  Scheduling the first appointment after lunch, in hopes that we can avoid a long waiting room experience.  (I can't believe I have to wait until 1, though. I may drive myself insane...)

As I type this, I'm actually praying.  And listening to worship music.  And crying.

Why?

Because I am stuck between two different worlds. 

World number 1: So excited to get to see our baby bit tomorrow.  So excited to hopefully find out if it is a he or a she in there.  So excited to see him or her move around on the monitor, and get to take pictures home to keep.

But, there's another world I live in. 

World number 2: I'm scared something might be wrong.  I know what anatomy scans are for, and its not finding out the gender of the baby.  Its for finding abnormalities, birth defects, problems with the baby or with me.  I know, all too well, that things don't always go as planned.  In fact, they rarely do.  I have known too many women who go into their scans with hopes and dreams, and come out crushed with a harsh reality of dispair.

Honestly, it is hard to live in either world for long.  If I try to dwell on "is the baby a boy? or a girl?" I am quickly reminded of world 2.  If I dwell on the later, well, it does no one any good.  Especially me. It makes me jumpy, depressed, worried, and anxious.

I know this is not a new experience to those who have lost babies.  In fact, I remember quite clearly the way I felt last time around.


There's a balance somewhere there. I know it. Which is why I'm praying. And listening to worship music. And crying.

I'm listening and watching this song, The More I Seek You.  It is one of my favorites that we sing at church.


My favorite lyric: "I melt in your peace.  It's overwhelming."

May I be overwhelmed by His peace.  Today, and tomorrow, and the next day.  No matter what the results of tomorrow are.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

18 weeks

Well, its that time again.  Its time for belly shots.  I don't take that many, maybe one every 3 weeks or so. But, these last two pregnancies I've taken substantially more than I ever did with O and A.  (Sadly, I only have very, very large pregnancy pictures with them.)

So, here's me, 18 weeks pregnant.  Isaac's pregnancy is on the left and this babe is on the right.
I keep getting statements like "oh!  You're pregnant??" whenever I mention having another baby or what to name this one, etc.  I mean, really?  Do I not look it?  I certainly feel like I look it.  I suppose I am a little smaller this time around than I was last time, but I think my belly still looks pregnant. What-ev.

The next installment of belly will probably be next week sometime.  I love to do a belly shot that coordinates with an u/s date.  Its like an inside/outside view.

See you next week~!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

6 days in the dark

Day 1: The storms
Wednesday morning O went to school on a two hour delay due to a Tornado warning early in the morning..  A's school was on schedule.  I had a few errands to run, so I sent both of them off, with a plan to keep an eye on the weather and an ear on the radio. I finished the things I needed to do, and went to eat with my mother in law.  It was sunny and warm when we were seated.  By the time our food came, the storms were back.  We ended up getting stuck in the restaurant for over a hour, waiting for the rain to let up so we could leave to pick up the kids.  Got home, found out that a tornado had just missed MIL's house by about a mile.

MIL calls to tell me that they don't have power.  I invite them over for dinner.  The storms start again.  I quickly finish dinner, afraid that our power might go out.  Set the table, tornado sirens go off, turn on the tv and see that it is indeed for our area.  All 7 of us head to the bathroom- where the power goes out, and, consequently, the sirens stop at the same time.

We finish eating, send off MIL and FIL, and try to get the troops ready for bed.  Another tornado is heading our way (which we know because of the radio.  sirens still aren't working.) and we get back into the bathroom.  Finally head to bed.  O isn't having any of that.  She has anxiety attacks all night, constantly asking us questions every 15 minutes.  I am pretty confident she didn't sleep until well past 3 am. 

Day 2: The day after
We hear on the radio that a tornado hit TVA itself. Initial report is that power may not be restored for 2-4 days.  We thought about traveling to MI to stay with my parents, but decided that 2-4 days wasn't worth the drive.  Plus, gas is expensive.

We head to Lowe's to get stuff to do E's projects around the house, and see this just around the corner:


We hang out around our house.  We play with the neighbors.  We hear about the crazy lines to get gas and food in Athens (which has power and is about 15 minutes from us.)  We have an impromptu get together with the neighbors to grill all of the meat that is going to go bad before tomorrow.  The weather is beautiful!

E and I play several rounds of Yahtzee.  Unfortunately, O still has issues going to sleep.  Still has anxiety induced nightmares.

Day 3:  We're running out of food. 
We have peanut butter bread again.  The stuff in our fridge has been moved to our freezer in efforts to keep it cold.  We decide to head to Athens to try to find something to eat for lunch, and find some gas for the IL's generator. 

On the way there, the normal "route" we take to get there is full of traffic.  We go a back way.  We are shocked at the amount of damage to houses and fences.  Not to mention a field that was completely full of Derbies.  Amazing. 

Almost all of the gas stations have super long lines, so we eat at McD's first, then try to find gas.  We get lucky and find a gas station that we only had to wait at for 10 minutes.

We head home the normal route, and see this: 
Complete devastation.  Feeling blessed and a lot less "inconvenienced". 

Weather is still beautiful.  We have dinner with our neighbors, who kindly let us use their gas stove top to cook some noodles and sauce.

E and I play Yahtzee again.  Its been quite fun spending evenings with him like this.

Day 4: We're out of here!
We head to Nashville for the day.  Going to use our last day of our zoo membership, and hopefully visit some friends. On the way there, we stop to go to the bathroom.  O is washing her hands and she says "Mommy!  Mommy!  They have HOT water here!!!"  Yep.  Its a novelty now.

The weather is beautiful again, and we have a wonderful time at the zoo.  We find some where to have a HOT meal.  Then, we head to Franklin, TN.

Franklin is having a festival, so we hang out there for a bit.  However, the festival was too crowded to be fun, so we then headed to my friend Raechel's house for a visit, and a hot shower.
We have a wonderful visit, and I have a wonderfully hot shower.  The kids got to make new friends and ride in a super cool bike.



We had to leave, in my opinion, too soon.  I always love visiting with these folks, but we had to get back before curfew. (Which was dusk to dawn for our community)

E and I play Pay Day.  We both commented how we haven't played that game in years.  Very fun. 

O finally sleeps well and only wakes up once.  I, however, am still not sleeping well.  I miss my sound machine to drown out the sleep noises of dear E, barking dogs, etc.

Day 5: More feelings of gratitude
We head to McDonald's again- this time for breakfast.  Everyone is pretty sick of peanut butter bread.  Especially me.  We decide to go past a friend's old subdivision (they moved to AK a few years ago) on our way.

I've never seen anything like this.  Ever.  Only a few houses are left standing.  Houses very similar to ours.  This tornado hit only 4 miles from our house. 


(I know its hard to see, but this rubble used to be houses!)


We start to run out of undies and socks.  So, I wash a load of laundry in the bath tub.  Since that went so well, I decided to do one more load that we could hang outside to dry. 



Its also the day that I clean out the fridge and freezer.  We had a few things survive in my IL's deep freezer, but we lost everything else.  But, in comparison to losing a house, I'll be happy to replace these things.  They're just that: things. 

In a positive light: my fridge and freezer haven't been this clean since we moved into our house 3 years ago.




We go out to eat with the IL's for dinner.  Mexican.  Yum!

E decides to go to work in a temporary set up office they have there.  He leaves around 7.  A starts throwing up around 8.  Not really the most fun thing to do/clean up in the dark.

Day 6: The power comes on
We heard that Costco had power, so we head there.  No samples, of course, but we get out of the house, and even get a cookie in the process.  While we are there, my OB calls to ask if I want to come in for my appointment (they were closed on my original appointment day because of the power issue, too.) Since we are near there, we bring the whole crew.

While I'm back in the office, E takes the kids to the park.  The nurse can't find Baby Bitt's heart beat with the Doppler.  I tell her my last scan showed my placenta in the front.  She goes to get my dr., who, on the way in, has to run to the hospital for a delivery.  So, she calls in a NP.  The NP tries for over 15 minutes to find the heart beat with no success.  (I'm not scared, or worried.  With time, and much effort, I can find it at home.)  They whisk me off to an ultrasound.

At this point, I'm super excited!  I'm hoping they can maybe peek at the gender.  Well, I find out we're having a baby............. 

















Skeletor!
Seriously, though, the ultrasound tech isn't the sweetest person ever.  She has the wand on my belly for a minute-tops.  Didn't even try to get a good picture for me. (though, You can see the skull.  Thus the name, Skeletor!)  I keep peaking at the picture, wondering if those three lines down at the end of the abdomen are parts or leg bones. Still neat to see my baby again.

We get home and put Zeke to bed.  I'm putting the dishes away when A notices that the lamp is on.  Hurrah!  We have power! 

I's light is on in his room, so we turn that off.  The first thing I do is take a nap.  With my sound machine.  Ahhh...  Pure bliss.

Feeling extremely thankful for electricity, and, more importantly, a house that went undamaged.  (Thank you, God, for keeping up safe!)

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The things on my mind

Two things have been prevalent on my mind this weekend.  One, is pretty minor, but comes with weird fears.  The other, well, its sort of major, I guess.

The first- I have my first dental "work" appointment in over 10 years tomorrow morning.  I have 3 cavities that have to be filled. Unfortunately, I've put them off for a while, (one time I cancelled because I chickened out, the next time because the RE didn't want me to have any work done until I was out of my first trimester. Which, as a total aside, I will be out of tomorrow. woot!)  I have this weird fear that its going to hurt really bad.  I mean, I've had stuff done before.  In fact, one of the cavities is simply a place where an old filling fell out.  But, its been so long that a little fear has set in, I guess.  I have even been dreaming about it the last few nights.  Logically, I know its not a big deal.  Emotionally, I have a sick feeling in my tummy.  I don't want to go!

The second- I have my Nuchal Fold scan on Tuesday morning at 11:30 CST.  I wasn't really all that nervous about it until yesterday.  I started to get a little concerned that it seems like I haven't grown much, belly wise, in several weeks.  It seemed like I bloomed rather quickly in the uterus department, and now there hasn't been much change.  Of course, I'm concerned that this means there is a problem.  I'm sure its fine.  (again, the logic part of me tries to reason with the emotional part.)  But, there's always this little voice in my head that says things can always go wrong.  The trick is trying to take that little voice and make the best of my life, versus sulking in fear.  Right?

Anyway, if any of you feel so inclined to say a quick prayer for me for my NT scan on Tuesday, that would be so great.  As for the dentist tomorrow, I plan to take a muscle relaxer before I go. (just teasing... I think.)

Monday, April 4, 2011

"What to expect when you're expecting...again."

Dear author of "What to Expect When You're Expecting",

Maybe you should consider the fact that women like to read during each of their pregnancies.  Not just the first one.  So when you write things like "you probably won't be showing, yet" or "you won't be able to feel the baby move for some time", you don't turn people like me off.  Because, let's face it, I've been in maternity gear since before the pee had time to dry on the stick, and I'm pretty positive I can now tell the difference between fetal movement and gas.  Maybe you should just write a new book, like "What to expect when you're expecting...again."  Or, "So you're knocked up for the fourth time."  Maybe "A Pregnancy Journal for a Woman Who's Had More Pregnancies Than Area Codes in Her State." (I have many more where those came from, too, but I'll spare you.)

Sincerely,
I'm still reading, but barely

p.s. I've included evidence of said "showing" that I'm not supposed to have yet according to your book.
10w 6d



Dear Zeke,
I know you're super proud of yourself for learning how to push our kitchen chairs around, then climbing up on them.  However, I'm kind of over the climbing up on the table, counters, touching the stove, and getting into the closet, etc.  You're more than welcome to stop doing that.  Please.
Love,
your tired-of-freaking-out mommy


Dear Zeke part II,
Oh, and if you'd like to stop falling and hitting yourself in random places, I'd love that, too.  You have enough bruises.
Love,
Can't-schedule-pictures-until-bruises-are-gone mommy



Dear weather,
you're a strange, strange thing.  Sure, the weekend was beautiful.  But, going from 83 degrees and sunny yesterday, to nasty storms today, to only 58 tomorrow is rough. 
Yours truly,
Can't-put-the-sweaters-away-yet-and-want-to


Dear A,
please, pretty please, stop doing things you're not supposed to do.  I'm tired of getting after you all of the time, and I'm sure you're tired of listening me get after you.  I don't know if you're trying to get attention, so I am trying to make an effort to give you some positive attention.  (Although, I doubt this is the case since you seem to be doing these things in private and trying to hide them.)  Please stop and remember to think before you act.
Love,
tired-of-time-out-talks mom

Dear E.
Not looking forward to 50 hour work weeks.  This means that I will  1. miss you a lot, or 2. miss your help a lot.  I think maybe both equally some days, and more number 2 some others.
All of my love,
not-looking-forward-to-doing-this-alone wife


Dear Dr. C's office,
Please call me back and give me the correct phone number for my appointment for my Nuchal Fold scan Friday.  I loathe making phone calls, and today was my scheduled day to do so.  Seeing as how you gave me some random, funky, non-answering phone number I'm guessing that it is not the right one.  Then, seeing as how you called me back with another number and I called THAT place, which has never heard of me, I'm guessing its messed up on your end again.  I need that information so I can make yet, more, phone calls. 
Regretfully,
the lady who-has-a-strange-phobia-of-calling-new-places

Monday, March 28, 2011

The kind of day

its been the kind of day where
1. i decide to skip my Zofran because of the horrid side effects.
2. I splatter paint all over myself while closing a paint can.
3. I smoosh my MP3 player ear buds with my foot.
4. Austin spills dirt on my freshly mopped floor.
5. The baby dissolves into tears at the slightest provocation.
6. Its cold and rainy outside.  Again. For the zillionth day in a row.




But, its also been a day where I listened to this for a good 10 minutes. 
 
Sorry you can't actually see the BPM. I was trying to record it with my phone AND keep the Doppler in the perfect position. (If you desperately want to know, the heart rate was in the 180s.)






Thursday, March 24, 2011

Scars

Scars are interesting things.  They tell stories of our wounds.  They remind us of mistakes or hurts.  They almost always stay with us our entire lives.

I don't have pretty scars.  In fact, I scar really badly.  They are always puffy, huge, and just generally icky looking.  My stretch marks, (which are really scars) are the perfect example.  Deep, puffy, and colorful. 

One time, back in high school, I cut myself on a spring that came out of my parents couch.  It cut the fleshy part of the back of my upper arm.  It hurt, and it bled a tiny bit, but nothing that needed stitches and it was easily taken care of with a few band aids.  It healed in a week or so.  I STILL have a MASSIVE scar from that.  Its still puffy, very pink, and, actually, its still tender.

My c/s scar is another example.  A few of my friends have mentioned that their c/s scars have faded away.  My c/s was over 6 years ago.  The edges have faded but the center is still puffy, pink, and slightly painful if pressed/kicked/hit/shaved.

When I first had my c/s, it was very painful.  The incision hurt like heck for a long time.  Eventually, it stopped hurting so bad all of the time.  It only hurt when I was on my stomach or did sit ups.  Then, it stopped hurting unless I poked my incision site. Now, its only painful if it has direct contact with something sharp or hard.

It seems like my grief from losing all of our babies is similar.  At first, it hurt all of the time. It hurt badly all. of. the. time.  Then, after a little while, I would go a few days with out it crippling me.  Then, a few weeks.  Now, it seems it only creeps in when I come in direct contact with something hard.

I used to think that getting pregnant post-miscarriage and having a live baby would relieve my grief. But, unfortunately, it doesn't. It helps fade my scars, and it keeps me from thinking about them all of the time. But, those puffy, pink, deep scars will be with me the rest of my life.

You wouldn't think my own pregnancy would trigger grief and sadness.  But, it does.  When I look at the ultrasounds of our new precious baby, I'm reminded off all of the babies we never got to see.  All of the babies we never got to hear heartbeats from.  All of the babies we grieved over.  All of the babies that are missing from our family.

So it seems, right now, something hard is pressing into my scars, and it hurts. 

Isaiah 53:4-5


Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken,Smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

More pictures

7 weeks

9 weeks
we couldn't get a good "still" picture because the baby was moving.  But, we got to hear the heart beat.  Nice and strong, and FAST! :)  186 bpm.

I quit! (post I wrote before my announcement)

I'm quitting my 10k training!

Its true.

Not because it was too hard.

Not because I wasn't enjoying it.

Not because I didn't think I could do it.

Not even because of my tailbone issues.

Nope, I'm quitting because I am in love.

I am in love with, this:

(Well, okay, maybe not the pregnancy test.  But, definitely what it means.) 

I'm still going to be running. 

Not as far.

Not as intense.

Not as often.

But, for a good reason.