better late than never

Our tenth anniversary was back in may (probably only one post back if you're going by my blog...)  I worked on making a slide show for hours.  The day of our anniversary, my grandpa had a stroke.  Then he went to hospice, and died with in a few days.  My slide show sat on my computer, forgotten. 

 Until today.  When, looking for something completely unrelated, I stumbled upon it.  Want to see it?  (If you don't, don't tell me. Just press the little x on the top right...)

A legacy

My grandpa passed away this past Saturday.  We got a call on Thursday that he had a stroke on Wednesday that left him unable to swallow or speak (he also had pneumonia and an infection in his foot.)  My grandpa had already asked that he not receive any life support, including a feeding tube.  One of my uncles traveled, immediately, up from Florida to be with him and to speak with the doctors. He did not see him until Friday morning.  My dad left on Friday, frantically trying to get there before my grandpa died. My parents were able to be with him (along with one of my uncles and aunts) as they moved my grandpa to the hospice facilities at the hospital.  My dad said that he was communicating with grunts, eye movements, and really trying to smile (he said you could tell it was frustrating him to not be able to speak.)

E and our family had packed up Friday night in efforts to leave first thing on Saturday morning to try to get to N.C. before my grandpa died.  However, my dad called at 4:30 in the morning to tell me that my grandpa had passed. (Two of my cousins had driven through the night from MI and arrived only 30 minutes or so after he died.) 

Through out the next couple of days, more and more of our family arrived.  Until all of the brothers, all but one of the 11 grandchildren, and 9 of the great grand children were gathered in Waynesville, N.C.  (we all had to travel. Not one of us lives in N.C. My grandpa moved there in his later adult life.) 

Even though we were grieving, and processing the loss of my grandpa, we were able to reconnect with our family.  My grandpa's legacy.  What a great legacy it is. 

All of us

 The brothers.  My dad is the 2nd from the right.

My family, my brother and sister-in-law and my parents

My dad and my boys.

Dear baby George

Dear Baby George,  (Don't worry.  We won't call you that once you're born.  Well, at least I won't.  One of your big brothers might.)

Let me start by saying that I appreciate your apparent love for me, your momma, and my uterus.  However, we'd love it if you came out soon.  Your growing body and growing home is starting continuing to make mommy miserable. 

Tomorrow would be an excellent choice for a birthday.  For one, mommy's doctor is on call.  All day.  For two, and more importantly, it's the anniversary of your Aunt Becky's death.  I know it might seem weird to share a birthday with that occasion, but your Grandma, Grandpa, and Daddy would enjoy having something positive/fun to think about on October 13 every year, in addition to remembering Aunt Becky's life. 

So, feel free to come out tomorrow and meet the world.  We can't wait to love on you!

Love,
Mommy

p.s. Tomorrow technically starts at midnight.  Just so you know. ;)

A little bit of randomness

• I burnt two fingers on my left hand with the iron yesterday.  I set it directly on my hand.  Pregnancy brain, anyone?
• E thinks I've been "nesting", but really, I'm just trying to prepare as much as I can before I get 1.too uncomfortable and 2. before school starts and I have even less time.
• Baby girl's nursery is almost finished!  My mom is making the crib skirt, and I have plans for a baby blanket/quilt with the scraps.  I think it looks fabulous! I promise to share pictures, soon!  Here's a teaser.

• We've spent very little time at the pool this year with out E.  I just don't feel up to handling watching the bigger 2 kids in the deep end, and keeping track of a wild-totally-has-no-fear toddler in the immense heat.  I promise to do better next summer. (As long as baby girl is not walking...)
• My little brother went and grew up and got engaged!  My brother, D, and my future SIL, R are planning a May wedding as of now.  Aren't they cute?

• We looked, very briefly, into flying all of us out to the wedding (since Mapquest put it at 14 hrs for a drive, with out stops.) Then, we quickly realized that flying 5 people, renting a car, then paying for a hotel, plus 2 dresses and a tux just weren't going to happen.  Maybe there's something fun to do between here and Pennsylvania to make the trip more intersting.
•   My heartburn/acid reflux has gone from controlled to uncontrollable.  I started Prevacid when I was 19 weeks and it worked great!  Until 2 weeks ago.  I've been miserable.  I cut out caffeine, pop, and eating big meals.  I talked to the pharmacist today, and she pretty much said that there isn't much else I can do. *sigh*  Before I complain too much, I would like to say that I am SO grateful that I never had this with my first 3 kids.  1 pregnancy is enough.
• No, we don't have a name for the baby, yet. (Although, if it was up to me, we would. ;))
• A friend's husband died last night after a freak fall that lead to cardiac arrest.  I have never even met him before, but I am so sad and heartbroken for my friend.  Her daughter is O's age, and her son is A's age.  E is at a conference tonight, and I just want to hug him- for a really long time. 

Memories of yester year

As I's birthday approaches, I've been feeling more and more nastolgic.  Remembering what was going on this day, last year, with him still in my belly.  Unaware that we would meet him oustide the womb in 13 short days.  Worrying about dialation, amniotic fluid levels, labor, and the birth itself.  Breathing in the fresh baby scent of my friend's newborn.

  I don't remember being this sad with the older two.  It could be because I was already pregnant with A one O's birthday.  As for A's first birthday, I knew we would have more children.  It didn't bother me as much. 

God willing, Isaac will not be our last child.  However, I now know the reality that our plans are just that: plans.  We have very little control over life and death.  Maybe just knowing that it is not in my control is what is making me sad.  Knowing that if I have to go through losses again for a 4th child, I don't know that we will. Knowing that Isaac could be my last, even if I don't want him to be.

I'm trying to trust in God.  Giving my plans up to him.  His will be done.  But, its quite hard to give up my ideals, and the picture in my head.  Its even harder when I feel like some one is missing from our family. I may always feel that way, though, because of the number of children not here with us. 

I'm sure this is all jumbled.  I'm sorry for that.  As I type it, I realize its not a very put-together post.  But, its a real-time post.  Things that are on my mind this minute, and for the last few days.

Precious in the sight of the LORD [is] the death of his saints. Psalms 116:15

Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

Eric's grandpa passed away this morning.

Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die..."

John 11:25-26

These pictures were taken only 8 short weeks ago,

We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord

2 Corinthians 5:8

1 week before he was diagnosed with Sarcoma.

Then I heard a voice from heaven say, "Write: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on." "Yes," says the Spirit, "they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them."

Revelation 14:13

At his last doctor's appointment, he was given 4-6 weeks to live.

That appointment was a week ago today.

For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him.
—1 Thessalonians 5:9-10

Please keep our family in your prayers. Its going to be especially hard on Eric and his family. Its going to be hard for us to explain to a 3 year old and a 4 year old that the great grandpa they just met (and got attached to) is no longer living.