Wednesday, July 18, 2012

I hate co-sleeping

There.  I said it.  Go ahead and get your stones ready.  I know they'll be zooming my way after that title.

Here's the thing, though.  I've always been one that says "whatever works" when it comes to babies and sleep.  I'm not passionate about co-sleeping.  I'm not gung-ho about crib sleeping.  I'm just pretty in love with sleep itself.  Where ever and however that takes place.

When my babies were all itty bitty, they all slept with me (or on me, actually).  All four of them wanted to be in very close contact those first few weeks.  It was fine, and it worked for us because we GOT SLEEP!

Then we moved them to the bassinets/cradle/rock and play right next to our bed, where they stayed for various amounts of time (6 mths, 6 mths, 4 mths, and 8 mths).  I slept better with them near me, but not in our bed (I'd have nightmares about the baby being under the covers, or smothered by E.  I never slept peacefully.) We slept well that way.

We moved them into their cribs when they were too big for their bedside sleeper (or in Isaac's case, when I had to give it back to the person I was borrowing it from).  This is where my kids' sleeping split in half.  O and Isaac handled the transition well.  They were both pretty good sleepers on their own, (Isaac had his fingers to suck for self soothing) and continued to do fairly well in the crib.  A and Eliza were/are different.  We desperately searched for ways to get them to sleep longer/more, with no avail.  Co-sleeping was one of the first things we tried, since it made the most sense. 

Guess what.  I hate it.  Its our only option at this point (long story.  Plus, I don't want to have more rocks thrown at me than I have to.)  I hate that its our only option.  Because its not really "working" either.  Sure, she's getting a little more sleep.  But, not me.

Co-sleeping at 9 months is NOT like co-sleeping those first early weeks and months.  Then- all snuggles, nursings, and sleeping.  Now- hair pulling, face grabbing, standing, crawling, and NOT sleeping.  Its one of THE most aggravating things- to lay down with your baby, craving sleep, only to be baby finger-nailed in the eye.

 3am party time for babykins and mommy?  oh, sure.  If you were MY FIRST CHILD!  What?  I can't move an inch, because if I do, it'll wake the beast baby?  Fine.  I'll lay perfectly still.  All.night.long.  King sized bed?  no problem.  Baby will fill that bad boy up so that I have to hug the side, teetering perilously on the edge.  Also, how about a nice, urine filled diaper in your face at 2am?

So, tell me this- how is it that my co-sleeping mommas seem so rested?  Because, I'm getting very little rest.


d e v a n said...

hee! This reminded me of my post from last January

I feel for you! It is incredibly frustrating to not be able to do something as simple as sleep!

Sarah said...

I'm very sorry, and I sadly have no advise because we all know any sleep advise is inherently ass-vice. If it worked, you would have done it a long time ago! What I'm currently using for my newborn is one of those in-bed co sleeper things, the Summer Infant one I think. It's like a tiny, enclosed bassinet in my bed. I feel okay using it because I'm a very very still sleeper ordinarily, and even more so when I have a baby near me. Jim sleeps on the couch when we have a new baby, so that's not an issue. Also, it's summer, so I'm not really using covers anyways. And I love having her right next to me, hearing her breathe, seeing her breathe, but not actually having her so near me that she could theoretically roll into my body and smother. (I should note this is the first kid I had one of these for, though. With the other newborns, by the end of the night they often WERE on me to sleep, out of sheer desperation.)
Once she outgrows this thing, I'm just praying she'll transition to the bedside cosleeper okay.

Kelly said...

Sorry, T! I know how exhausting it can be. And, honestly, I feel the same way about co-sleeping for us. It never worked for us to have a baby in our bed. It always lasts about an hour before one of us lugged the baby/toddler/preschooler/just had a nightmare 6 year old back to their own bed. I can't sleep restfully with a wee one in bed with me. I wish you luck! And, sleepy baby vibes your way!

Stacey said...

No advice here. We co-slept, or rather still do from about 1 AM on most nights. I do get frustrated but for me, the only thing that gives me knowing or hoping that this phase doesn't last forever (as the 4-year old sleeps on his own now, and has for nearly two years). Of course this is coming from the girl with 2 kids, not 4, so I cannot even imagine how you feel. Good luck.

Jen said...

That is such a rough stage to be co-sleeping! Evan was my only one that made it through months 9-10 without getting kicked out of the bed. The others all got kicked out because I was pregnant again and couldn't stand to miss out on my sleep! It does get better but I do remember many nights of hugging Evan to me while he screamed and fought going to sleep just so I didn't come out of our room covered in scratches or bruises.

Jamie said...

I think it depends on the child too. I co-slept with all three boys but they NEVER did the whole tossy turny wigghly thing, they just snuggled up and slept/nursed/slept so it was easy. It wasn't until about the 2 year mark when they became fidgety (drives my INSANE) BUT with Miss A she is not co-sleeping friendly- you described her to a T I can not sleep with her in the bed. I actually sleep better with her crying in the crib then I dop with her moving around in my bed. What about putting her in the crib in your room? Sorry you aren't getting much sleep. I can relate ((hugs))