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Monday, January 11, 2010

Complete?

Baby I is about to turn 4 weeks old tomorrow. I know what you're thinking, and I'm thinking it, too. "4 weeks? already?" Seriously, where does the time go?

It amazing how fast they grow and change. I has been staying awake for longer periods of time, so much so that sometimes its hard to get him back to sleep. He, over a period of a week, outgrew almost all of his newborn outfits. (It seemed like he outgrew them, literally, over night! I bought him a new outfit on Monday, that fit great! Today, one week later, I can't button it up at the crotch because he's too long!) He's started holding his head up really well during tummy time, even!

As we watch him grow, E and I can't help but find ourselves talking about "the next one". Baby, that is. I know some people probably think we're crazy for thinking about having another when this one is only 4 weeks old. We probably are. Of course, we're talking like a few years from now. Not months (sorry. no plans to follow the O and A sibling time period!) but later down the road.

It has occurred to me, however, that we may never get over wanting another. At least, that's how it seems to me now. I can't imagine never holding my sweet newborn in my arms, or cuddling with my almost-one-month old baby. It makes me sad to think that some day I'll be too old to have babies, or we'll outgrow our house, and eventually we WILL have to stop having them.

I have friends who are done having children who can say, with out a doubt, "we're done!" Will we ever get to that place where we feel our family is complete? Is there a magic number of children that will stop the yearning for more babies?

7 comments:

Elizabeth said...

You may never be "done" but someday you will decide when it's time to put a hold on more children. So far we say we are "done for now" because though we don't think we will have more, we can't be too sure. God may have other plans. God Bless. *hugs*

d e v a n said...

Although I will be super sad to never snuggle with another newborn (of mine) I can say that we are done. My body, our finances, my emotional stability... I just can't have any more than this. Maybe I could in 10 years... but I'm not willing to start all over. It's a hard decision, but I think you'll know when it's right for you.

Sarah said...

I always wonder this too. There are some days when I honestly think I could feel done NOW, and be content and happy with our little family, but then I wonder if I'll look back in twenty years and wish so badly that we had gone ahead and tried for more, even it meant facing more difficult pregnancies and the risk of more miscarriages.
I used to say I wanted four and Jim said six (!!) but now I think we have both reached a "take it one baby at a time" point. We'd be thrilled just to have ONE more healthy pregnancy and baby. If more follow, that'd be awesome too (although a bigger HOUSE would also need to follow!)

Cuddles and Chaos said...

My husband was already talking about the "next one" after the last one arrived. My dr had to repeatedly tell him to slow down and allow me to heal.
You may never be "done" with having babies but at some point, you'll be done and with the grace of God He will help you learn to come to term with what that means for you.
I have three wonderful children on earth and far too many angels. I never thought we'd stop on an odd number. Honestly 3 doesn't seem complete to me. But I had to stop because of my medical issues, I don't want to spend the whole pregnancy worrying about how my body is hurting a sweet baby. I don't want the decision to be made me or the baby...because I'd vote for the baby every time. And honestly, I don't know how strong I would be during another loss. So (for me) I'm at the place where it's time to celebrate my blessings and enjoy the new babies of friends, family and strangers and be thankful. It has not been an easy road to get to this point and I have shed my tons of tears.
So at some point, you'll be done but it won't necessarily be because you don't look forward to the gift of motherhood...if that makes sense.
My husband is finally on the same page about being done...and that alone was no easy task. I think my poor doctor is secretly thankful not because I'm a bad patient...but because the worries caused a few gray hairs for him too.

Lisa said...

I used to think that I'd never feel like our family is complete, but miraculously it DOES happen.

Andrea said...

I think those of us who've faced struggles and loss view all of this so much differently. We understand the miracle and appreciate it so deeply, as they don't always come easily :)

Rumour Miller said...

I am pretty sure that you will know when your time has come and your family is complete.

I've always wanted four, but with infertility stealing a few years from us and then gestational diabetes, now diabetes and early deliveries... I just don't think I can do this again. We are done.

{{{hugs}}}} you'll know.