Wednesday, August 25, 2010


I have three children, all with very different personalities.  One child, my oldest, is very cautious.  She's been this was since she was a baby.  She was capable of walking well before she took her first steps.  She was so scared of falling down that she made sure that she could "do it right" before attempting to do it at all.

Our littlest hasn't shown us what his walking style will be, but he seems to be content in every situation. He's our "go with the flow" kid.

My second child, well, he's a wild man.  He acts first, thinks later.  I always joke if the eldest was capable of walking long before she did, our second child was walking well before he was capable.  He fell like crazy when he first started running  walking. (of course, this complete lack of fear can be trouble sometimes, too.)

Here is A on the first day of swim lessons. Jumping off the diving board, no one with extended arms to catch him.  He has no reservations.  He just jumps.  Totally confident that he can swim to the side.  Totally confident that if he can't, someone will help him.

 We missed the bus today so I had to take her in car line. I have never used the car line before (neither has she) and I started to get nervous about what I was doing, where I was going, etc. Then, O said "mommy, I'm a little scared about car line." I realized that I needed to fake it in that moment. Pretend like I was confident. (and, yes, I realize that its a silly little thing to be anxious over.  but, that's just my style.) 

When it comes down to it, I realize I'm definitely more like my daughter. Afraid of falling down. Not taking risks. Afraid of the unknown.

For her benefit, I'm working towards being more bold. More willing to go out of my comfort zone. More fearless.  I can do it.  I will swim boldly.  After all, God is there to help me when I can't make it to the side.


Kristin said...

I am with you....if I don't know what to expect in a situation I stress over what might happen. I would much rather know what is expected of me or what is to come and then I go forward with more boldness.

Sarah said...

Things like car lines are exactly the stuff I stress about. Stupid, everyday stuff that everyone else in the world seems to manage I will sit and panic about momentarily. I'm just like you- I have lots of moments where I have to tell myself, "For your kids' sake you're just going to have to fake some confidence right now!" Most times I can pull it off. :)

d e v a n said...

You know I understand this, the anxiety about things like car line. i love your last lines. Brilliant. :)

d e v a n said...

Oh, and there was a phrase I learned from a mentor during my first year of teaching. "Fake it till you feel it." I've used that a lot. lol