In the past 2 weeks:
Eliza- in for allergic reaction (she ate ranch dressing.) Also, on a different day, there for her 12 month check up.
Isaac- in for a hideous rash on his face that is not responding to, as of now, 4 different kind of medications.
Olivia- Height and weight check, along with blood work, and orders for a bone scan.
4 times in 2 weeks. Numerous phone calls. Plus, likely another visit to the dr. tomorrow for the baby, who has been throwing up for days, unable to keep anything but tiny amounts of breast milk down.
This. This is the stuff that overwhelms me. This is the stuff that makes me stop and think "maybe I AM done having children." even though I still really, really want another. This is the stuff I sit and fret over at night, praying to God to heal my babies, and calm my anxious heart.
But, this is life. Its our life. Though it may seem sucky, I'm trying to find peace in the small things. Like how I love the nurse at our pediatrician's office. How my baby girl is actually cuddly and snugly, even though I hate the reason why. How I got to spend some one-on-one girl time with my eldest while we waited for her bone scan. How our family pictures on Saturday will be that much more unique and memorable with Zeke's facial prettiness. (I'm serious, here. Its a story we can laugh about later, right??)
Its our life.