Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I'm cancelling

Well, I asked God to make it clear what I was supposed to do. I was feeling so conflicted about the best course of action, feeling sad about the birth control, and nervous about the surgery itself. My answer came: via my husband.

E doesn't want to move forward with the surgery right now. He wants to meet in person with the dr. first to discuss our "game plan" so to speak. He wants to speak, in person, with Dr. H about the surgery itself, along with what he thinks is going on NOW (since he's now experienced my loss first hand, and not through medical records)

So, I called today to see if they have an opening before Tuesday. If they do, we'll keep the surgery date as planned. If they don't, we'll be waiting on the surgery.

In the meantime, I'm still confused. But, I'm feeling a tad more peaceful.


I'm taking cupcakes into school for O's birthday today. She was very insistent that I add sprinkles, and not just plain frosting. Apparently, plain frosted cupcakes don't taste as good. She also, very excitedly, went outside with me yesterday to hang the "birthday flag". I bought the birthday flag at a local street market this summer. I thought it would be a cute little tradition we could do for birthdays. It says, "Happy Birthday!" then it has a section to put Velcro numbers and it says "I'm ______ years old!" We used it for E's birthday in December. However, I think the 4 looks cuter than the 28.

I'm a little sad, actually, that my baby is almost four. But, she's so super excited, how can I NOT join in the fun?


d e v a n said...

I think that sounds reasonable. I hope the answer becomes more clear for you!
I can't believe our babies are going to be 4. *sigh*

Dan & Hillary and little Russell said...

Hi, Tracy-
I'd LOVE to write you an e-mail of encouragement and to tell you what our latest (and most hopeful) gameplan is to date. Our cases are very similiar. Could you e-mail me at hillaryayoung at g mail dot com?

Raechel said...

Doesn't it help so much to just have your husband, whom you trust, make big decisions for you? Especially then those decisions are so loaded with emotion. I'm always grateful when Ryan steps in with his voice of reason - even if it's not exactly what I would choose, at least I didn't have to choose.

Does this make any sense? I'm just glad you are feeling some peace.


Tracy said...

Rae- definitely. I'm so glad that God used him to help make the decision for me. If E would've been wishy washy, I would've had a horrible time deciding what to do. Thankfully, my husband has a rather strong voice. :)

D- I know!