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Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Its scheduled

I called and talked with my RE's office today. Basically we came to the conclusion that now would be the best time to do the surgery IF I'm going to do it. Especially since I am starting a new job in just a few short weeks.

However, I will be taking a birth control pill until the surgery. The surgery is scheduled a week from today- so pretty soon before I ovulate. The nurse said that if I'm gearing up to ovulate, everything is inflamed, and Dr. H won't be able to see in there. Taking birth control, however short a period, seems so counter-productive.

Anyway- its scheduled, but I still haven't "decided". Its scheduled because I wanted to make sure I got in, (if we decide to do it) before my new job starts. E and I really need to think and pray on it a little more before we decide for sure.

*sigh* Want to know what's holding me back? The thought of not being able to have a 2009 baby if I take the birth control. Silly, I know. But, to think that I have to miss out this month makes me sad. The crazy part about it all is that even if I did get pregnant, the chance it would survive is slim according to my track record. But, yet, I'm sad about missing out on a December baby that I may or may not even have.

7 comments:

Lisa said...

I feel like you've made the right decision; try not to mourn the 2009 baby and focus on how glorious your 2010 baby is going to be! ((hugs))

Michelle P. said...

I agree with Lisa ;)

d e v a n said...

Ditto!

Melanie said...

It is scary, Tracy, and it happens so fast. I was diagnosed and had surgery scheduled all within a one week period of time back in Nov 2007. I remember feeling so unsure too. I will pray for you and E to get clarity on this. *hugs*

Heather said...

Oh sweetie, but if you don't take the bcp, he can't help you as fast! KWIM? I agree w/Lisa. A 2010 baby will be just a wonderful as a 2009 AND we will all rejoice w/you just the same :) I say go for it so you won't regret it later. Good luck and I will certainly keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

xoxox

Raechel said...

I know the disappointment of having to put off what you want so badly is really hard. We've just recently decided with my midwife to give my body a six month reprieve from pregnancy. SIX MONTHS! It may not see like a lot to some people, but it is still a really hard thing to give up.

I'm trying to look at this glass-half-full, though. I'm doing all the things I wouldn't do if I were trying to get pregnant or pregnant. I've been jogging 3 miles a day (DEFINITELY don't exercise in my first trimester), tanning, painting, buying clothes (there's no use when you're expecting to be pregnant soon) and even enjoying a glass of wine with my husband. I'm trying to make it a fun time where I focus being Ryan's wife and Oliver's Mom.

Does that help at all - to think about giving your family 100% of your attention for a month? A little vacation from fear and potential disappointment - that's what we're taking. I think it is definitely what my boys need from me right now.

Tracy said...

Oh, Rae. 6 mths seems like forever. Heck, 1 mth seems like forever. You're always so strong, and positive. I'm glad that you're living life so well! <3