I feel nervous. I've just been really praying that God would lead us in our TTC journey. Leading us to do the procedures he wants us to do, making it clear when there are ones that he doesn't want us to do. To give us, (mainly me) peace in our decisions.
As I mentioned before, the last time Dr. H and I spoke, he said something about the possibility of a laparoscopy after another loss. At the time, I was consumed with grief (from learning that we were about to loose another baby) that I was unable to really ask questions, or even think of questions.
I called the office today to tell them that I had started my period. I was expecting a little lashing because I left a message saying that we weren't going to do the Clomid this month. I also asked why Dr. H wanted to wait on the laparoscopy. Is there a magic number of losses to do this procedure, or is he trying to spare me from testing/surgery, or what? I wasn't really expecting much in the answer back. Last time I approached him about changing up the plan, it wasn't received well.
Anyway, during naps today, my phone started vibrating. I knew it was the dr's office, but A was laying with me and was just back asleep. I didn't want to answer, or leave the bed and wake him up. I got the voicemail just a little bit ago. The nurse said that Dr. H says there's no real reason to wait if I'd like to proceed with the laparoscopy.
So, do I want to proceed with the laparoscopy? I definitely feel like some thing's wrong with my body- and not an issue with our 6 babies. But, is it the right thing to do? Is it what I should do?
Guide our hearts, Lord. We need your direction. Is this the next step?