What $20,000+ looks like

E got the statement from the insurance company today. $20,000 for just the hospital fees and the OB's fees. That doesn't even include anything having to do with my epidural!!

But, I guess its the cutest $20,000 I've ever seen. :)

Merry Christmas Eve

It may not seem like much

I stepped on the scale yesterday for the first time since baby I was born a week ago. Honestly, I've been avoiding it. I didn't want to be disappointed. I was planning to wait until my 4 week post birth check. But, I was curious. And I'm not very patient.

I've lost 16 pounds. It may not seem like much considering I had a 7lb baby, LOTS of amniotic fluid, and a placenta that are all missing. But, I've also gained about 5 lbs in each breast. :) Seriously, though. It means I only have 16 lbs to lose.

16 lbs is the least amount of weight that I have had to lose in any of my pregnancies. After having a weight loss goal of 40 lbs after having Olivia, 16 lbs doesn't seem like much.

Isaac Daniel's birth story

I went into my dr. appointment monday afternoon having contractions. I thought they were just the regular "practice" contractions. I was checked by the OB and I was dilated to 4cm and was 70% effaced (which was a change from 3 cm and 50%). She stretched me and said that she thought that she'd see us in labor and delivery that evening. I really didn't think I'd go into labor, since it was a bit earlier than I went with my other two babies.



On the way home from the OB, my contractions started getting stronger. I decided to take the kids for a walk around the neighborhood to see if they would continue. While I was walking, they were definitely keeping up. By the time E came home, I was having them every 3-5 minutes with significant pain. I think that was about 4:30.



I made dinner for E, but by the time it was out of the oven, I was sick to my stomach with the contractions. We called my MIL around 6 to tell her to go ahead and head over to watch the kids. By the time we made the transfer with the kids and made it to the hospital, it was around 7.



Our local L & D isn't infamous for being speedy. E and I walked the halls for over an hour before they took us back to our room. We requested a wireless monitored room, and we got one that had the equipment in it. Unfortunately, the equipment wasn't working right. But, they kindly let me do intermittent monitoring. So, I was on the monitors for 15 minutes and off for 45.

Once we did the initial 15 minutes of monitoring, they went ahead and checked me. Still 4 cm and 70% effaced. Baby was at a -2. I wasn't discouraged, though, because I knew that something had to be changing soon!

During those off 45 minutes of monitoring, E and I walked the halls, walked in our room, bounced on the ball, etc. Trying desperately to get the baby to move down and open my cervix. My contractions were getting stronger, but not necessarily closer together. The nurse checked me several other times, with very little progress. The nurse said that the dr. would be in in the morning and she would likely break my water.

At 3am, my OB had another patient who walked in (dilated to an 8. sheesh!) and she came in and checked on me. At this point, I was only dilated to 6cm. We started to think that the extra amniotic fluid was preventing the baby from putting pressure on my cervix to help dialate it. So, I consented to having my water broken.

We *knew* there would be a lot of fluid. But, its hard to describe HOW MUCH fluid there actually was. It just kept coming. It was, in the moment, a bit of needed comic relief. 1 hr later, the nurse checked me again. Crap! Still at a 6, a tad more effaced, but baby still at a -2.

This is the point where things start to get off of my "ideal birth". Baby boy's heart rate was doing funky things on the monitor, and my contraction monitor didn't seem to be picking up ANY of the contractions. Since the external monitors are notorious for being unreliable, we did an internal monitor. I've never had an internal monitor put in with out an epidural. I have to say that this may have been the most painful part of the entire process.

Once the internal monitors were in, I could no longer get out of bed. This is pretty much the point in my labor that I started to panic. I couldn't find a position to relieve the intense pain, and I was swearing, screaming, praying through every contraction. Poor E tried to help, but I was really past that point. I waited until 5 am. I asked the nurse to check me again. If I was still at the exact same spot I was when they broke my water, I was getting an epidural. She checked me. Still the same.

Here's the crazy part. I thought that I'd be disappointed with myself for getting the epidural since I wanted to go with out pain medications. However, looking back, it was a very smart decision on my part. I hadn't had sleep in over 24 hrs, and I was physically and mentally exhausted. Considering the fact that the baby wasn't born for another 4.5 hrs, I think it was a good decision, indeed!

I rested on and off until about 8:30. I started to get super sick to my stomach with every contraction (even though they didn't hurt). After my epidural, I declined getting cervical checks because I decided I didn't want to be discouraged any more. When I started getting sick, the nurse said it was time to get checked.

At 9 am, she checked me and I was 9cm dilated, baby was a +2. She came back 30 minutes later and I was complete. She called the OB and asked if we should do practice pushes. She said "sure. I'll run in if I have to".

I pushed through one contraction and the nurse told me to stop and not push. While she called in Dr. C to tell her to run, it literally felt like my body was pushing the baby out with the contractions. Dr. C ran in, got her things on, and told me to push. I pushed through one more contraction and Dr. C started talking about getting an episiotomy since I was tearing pretty bad. However, baby boy had other plans. The next contraction he was born. With out the episiotomy, but complete with lots of tears.

Dr. C put the baby on my chest to wipe him off. I absolutely adore that part! It was the best feeling in the whole world! The funny part is that he peed coming out, he peed getting weighed, and he peed getting suctioned. Then, before we went up to our room, he pooped in the blankets!

Baby I is doing so well. Our family is slowly adjusting to having another family member. A and O and I are all sick, ,but with different things. So, baby I and I have been holed up in our bedroom trying to avoid contact with the big kids. But, we are so in love with our newest little man. He is such a miracle!

He's here!

Baby I (Isaac) joined us outside of the womb on December 15th at 9:43 am. He proudly shares a birthday with his daddy, only 29 years apart. Baby I weighed 7lbs 6 oz and was 20 inches long. I promise to post our birth story soon!

But, for now, we're still in the hospital and I've had limited access to E's computer (with all of the security measures etc, he has to be in the room with me when I use it). Unfortunately, our household is under some kind of viral attack. O has been having random night time fevers, I started with a horrible sore throat and head ache today, and A has a 103 temperature right now. I guess MIL is starting on something as well. baby I and I plan on being holed away in our bedroom. This is one time I wish we had cable...

A note to the one residing in my uterus

Dear baby boy:

As your momma, I am officially giving you permission to come out. Your brother and sister are dying to meet you. Your daddy is anxious to see what you look like and if you have hair (my official guess is he'll be a baldie). As your mommy, I'm anxious, not only to meet you, but to be done with the pregnancy related aches and pains as well as the kidney stone thing.

As I head to the OB later this afternoon, I want you to keep this all in mind. We want to meet you. You can come out now. We love you. :)

Love,
Your very tired and very pregnant mommy

Faces

Sad

Angry

Happy

Surprised

Grumpy (we see this face a lot in the mornings.)

Another happy

trimming the tree

Okay, so I hate candid photos of myself. This picture being the reason...

What my dad and brother did to "help".

"snow" day

On Saturday morning, O came running into our room bright and early (E was supposed to be letting me sleep in since I lost about 5 hrs due to contractions I had the night before. Somehow he ended up sleeping in A's room and A slept until 8!) like always. She leaned over into my face and said, with a big grin on her face, "mommy!! there's snow outside! Real snow!"

As soon as A and sleepy head E woke up, we rushed outside. Here in Alabama, snow doesn't last long (thankfully!) By 10 am, it was pretty much all melted.

E making a snow ball- which he then threw at me.

Our snow man

I have come to the conclusion that snow is still too cold for me. Even if it is only a 1/2 an inch. Yes, I grew up in Michigan. Where it was absolutely frigid. But, there are reasons E and I decided to move down here 5.5 years ago. Its warmer here. :)

A post in mind

I had a post in mind. One in which I was going to upload pictures from our Christmas tree decorating, my family's visit, and some other random stuff. But, I'm tired and sort of in a foul mood. That post will just have to wait.

I'm getting super ready to have this baby boy. Everything hurts. My body hurts because its pregnant. My kidney hurts because it has a stone. With out going into further depth about my aches and pains, I'll stop there.

I've been a nervous wreck, too, if baby boy doesn't move the way he's supposed to. I'm scared that something is going to happen and we won't bring this little guy home, either. I know that in all likelihood, we will. I know that I should cast my cares upon God. But, its really hard to let go...


Anyway, a cheery, happy post is on the horizon. I promise.

A day full of baby news!

I'll start off with my appointment, it was extremely loooooooooong. I got into my u/s right away. got to see baby boy, but not much of his face. He was down pretty low and was super content to have his hand and arm around his face pretty much the whole entire time. The u/s tech was getting frustrated with him since she needed to measure his noggin and he wouldn't let her get a good picture. She said that she measured generously and he was measuring in at 6lbs 4 oz (which is in the 50% for 36 weeks gestation). She also said that I had a good bit of amniotic fluid. On the higher end of the normal range. Even higher if you consider that most people's fluid levels are much lower at 36 weeks. Let's just hope my water doesn't break at home, right?

In case we were a little fuzzy on the gender, (which we were NOT!) here's another money shot!


Turns out that last week, my OB was being "generous" when she said that I was 1/10 of the way there. Turns out, I was only a "finger tip" dilated last week. I was 1.5 to 2cm today! Now, we just wait and hope my body continues this lovely pattern. :)

Now, onto the most exciting news in my opinion: one of my favorite people gave birth to a beautiful baby girl this morning. My friend, Devan, went in at 5 to be induced. They didn't start the pitocin until after 6:30. The dr. came in at 9:15 to break the water. Baby girl, Lila, was born at 10:51. Here's a picture of the sweet babe.

I just missed watching miss Lila come into the world. I had an ultrasound at my dr. (thankfully, the hospital and my OB's office are connected!! I got to visit a little bit before my appointment and after my appointment before going to pick up the kids.) and had to leave about 25 minutes before she was born.

My friend Devan rocked this birth, though! All natural, pain med free, and that's WITH pitocin folks! She said it hurt pretty bad. But, luckily, or unluckily for her, there would've been no time for any pain medication anyway. As it was, the nurse delivered baby Lila! I told her that I can only dream of a birth that fast for my next babe.

tea, ball bouncing, kidney stones and other random things

*I am normally not a big tea fan. However, I bought some red raspberry leaf tea today, loaded it up with some sugar (bad, I know, but I can't stomach it any other way) and I am currently ENJOYING it! Wow!



*To encourage baby boy to move down some, I've been bouncing on my exercise ball frequently. Plus, its just plain fun to bounce up and down on this thing.



*I got out my breast pump today. I realized how much I really don't like that thing, but how useful they really can be. Especially in the early days.



*I have, what appears to be, another kidney stone. I was having some major back pain last week. When I went into the OB, they tested my urine and concluded that it was probably a kidney stone. Last night, and the night before, I was in major pain. Even when the stone isn't trying to move, my back/kidney area is aching. Fun, right?



*Did I tell you all that I measured ahead last week at my appointment? We've decided to go ahead with the ultrasound that the OB recommends. Its scheduled for Wednesday morning. if nothing else, it'll be nice to see baby boy's sweet profile again. :)



*One of my very best friends, Devan, is gearing up to have her baby. She may be in early labor now! If she doesn't have her sweet little girl today or tomorrow, she'll definitely be here on Wednesday! Yay!

And thus concludes today's episode of random facts.

What I'm thankful for

I am thankful for more than I can even type here. But, for one, I'm thankful that I've made it this far with this babe.

Truly amazing.

Truly wonderful.

Truly a miracle.

a tenth

Well, I guess I'm officially on my way to having a baby. It may be a long way, but the process has started. At today's OB appointment, I was 1/10 of my way to being ready to deliver a baby. Seems exciting, right? Well, it is. But, one must keep in mind that second, third, fourth time moms can be 1/10 of the way there for weeks or months. Puts a little bit of damper on that excitement.

But, like my math teacher once taught me, 1/10 is more than 0/10. :)

because I haven't posted in a while

Throw away money

While at the Christmas tree lighting on Friday night:
A: Mommy, Daddy! can we ride the train???
me: No. Not today.
A: Why not?
me: We don't have the money today.
A: Other people are riding it!
me: Other people have money to throw away.
A: I want money to throw away.

At least he's honest

A had gotten into trouble lately for shutting his van door after he gets into his seat. The reason being that I have to re-open it in order to get him buckled. This particular time, he actually obeyed and left his door open.

E: A! Good job! You obeyed and left your door open!
A: yes! O told me to close it, but I obeyed. Its easier for you to get me buckled this way. But, you can turn around in your seat to buckle me. Mommy can't, though, because she's too big.
E: Yes, I can turn around. But, its still better to obey. You like to obey, don't you??
A: Yes. I do. But, sometimes I like to disobey.

Heaven in a Casket
A: How did great grandpa get to heaven? In a balloon?
O: No. In a casket.

Have you seen this frog??

A lost his lovey again.

We've searched and searched for him. But, we can't find him anywhere!

So, we're trying to find him a new "fwog". I can't remember the brand, and I've done all of the tricks I know to do. Any advice?

Have you seen this frog?

Why we love the south, reason number 1

Because we can take pictures like this:

in the middle of November,
and actually be a little warm in the dressy clothes.

Apparently, we didn't move far enough south, though. Its not going to be nearly as warm the next few weeks. Just in time for my parents' arrival. I try to tell them that its still warmer than Michigan... (though, most places are.)

It seemed like a good idea at the time

We bought a gigantic, family sized box of cheerios at the grocery store the other day. Mainly because we can gobble up a regular box in less than a week. It seemed like a good idea at the time. More cheerios in a box- more breakfasts for the kids.

It seemed like a good idea, until this morning. That entire box of cheerios ended up spilled all over the kitchen floor. I think I'll buy the regular sized box from now on...

It really does fit. Sort of.

Olivia: "Mommy, how is the baby going to come out? Is it going to get cut out like me, or pushed out like Austin?"
Mommy: "I'm going to push it out."
Olivia: "Where is going to be pushed out?"
Mommy: "well, from my bottom."
Olivia: chuckles, "noooooo! it wouldn't fit!"

33 weeks and good news!

I had a normal check up today at the OB. I'm one day shy of 33 weeks. My last appointment, two weeks ago, was a little rough. VBAC's make my OB nervous. Large babies make my OB nervous. So you can imagine the nervous energy soothing out of her when she measured me at 5 weeks ahead. Again. That's right. Again! That appointment was the 3rd time that I measured ahead. Pretty significantly ahead, too.

Today, though, I only measured 2 weeks ahead! Woot! I actually measured smaller today than I did 2 weeks ago! I'm hoping that the next appointment continues with this trend, in hopes that it soothes my OB's concerns about me birthing a large child. (which, by the way, the dr. I saw today said that she didn't think the baby was that big. she did a bit of pushing and prodding per my request.)

The other good news? Baby is back in position. About 2 weeks ago I felt some HUGE movements from baby boy. I mean HUGE! After those movements, I started feeling his hiccups on my upper right side, instead of the lower left that I had been feeling up until that point. I was pretty convinced he was head up. Last night, however, I felt some gigantic movements again. Today- hiccups on the lower left side. The dr. felt around and *thought* that she was feeling the baby's leg up high. Yay!

So, all in all, a great appointment. I wouldn't say that I'd prefer to have the dr. I met with today deliver my baby, but she was fine. I had to meet her before I get too close to my due date. Just another step closer to delivery. :)

1 day shy of 33 weeks

A story from our Monday

O, A, and I went to a local outdoor mall/shopping center on Monday to do a little shopping and have a little fun. We stopped by Maggie Moo's, to decorate ice cream cupcakes. (Just what the kids needed after a weekend full of scavenging for candy...)

On this cupcake: cupcake, ice cream, frosting, sprinkles, gummy bears, teddy grams, and M&Ms.

After the cupcakes, I let the kids run around, and around, and around the courtyard area to get some of their wiggles out. They had a LOT of wiggles and they were having a blast.

Sometimes when my kids get wild, they get naughty. By naughty, I mean they don't exactly pay attention to the rules ("stay away from the water!" or "don't run into other people") and tend to have selective hearing as well. In the end, we had to go because the kids had a hard time controlling how far they were running.

Being the nice momma that I am, (well, on this particular day at least.) I told them we could walk past the water feature on the way to the parking lot. As we looked at the water, the kids started begging to throw pennies to make a wish. I fished through my purse and found some pennies and handed one to each kid.

Olivia wound up and got ready to throw hers. I asked what she was wishing for and she said "its a secret, Mommy!" She flung that penny into the water with a big grin on her face. (When I use the word "flung" I'm not over exaggerating, either. It almost went out of the water on the other side!)

Austin got ready to throw his and I asked him the same thing. As the penny was leaving his hand, headed toward the water, he said "I wish..."

The penny then hit the water.

"I wish I had a penny."

wondering if I'm doing it all wrong

I don't feel like I'm an insecure person. I don't think people dislike me. I am confident about who I am. But self doubt, that's a whole 'nother story.

Lately, I've been struggling with the persistent, nagging thought that I'm doing it all wrong. "it" being the whole mothering gig. We're trying to parent biblically, and I pray constantly for guidance, patience, and wisdom. However, when we're in the midst of the parenting battle, when things are going, how I would perceive, poorly, I fight this nagging voice in my head that says "you suck at this. you're not good enough! you're doing everything wrong!"

(Its not so ironic that this is the same voice that crops up in other situations as well. I've always envisioned myself on a worship team at church sometime in the future. But, that small doubt creeps in and says "you're not good enough". Or, when E and I have a fight, I almost always "hear" or perceive him to be saying the same things.)

So when I was reading Proverbs 31 today, I was entranced by the the second part of the chapter. This verse in particular:

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;

her husband also, and he praises her:

Blessed?? I have a horrible time thinking that my children, whom I tell "no" fifteen times a day, or send to time out another fifteen times in a day, will ever called ME blessed. What a verse for me to dwell on and think about my own self doubt. But, the really cool and amazing thing is found just 2 verses later.

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

A woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. She's obviously doing something right by the description of the author, and the main thing that I got out of it is that she loves and fears the LORD. All of the other good things that flow from her stem from this one and only fact.

I may suck at parenting, potty training, and a whole load of other things, but I can love the LORD. That, I can do!

Our mom's group halloween party

I didn't dress up for my mom's group Halloween party like my friend, Devan, since my only costume would be a little inappropriate while I'm so pregnant. I'm pretty sure none of my friends want to see my stretch-marked belly popping out of my pirate shirt, or the tops of my thighs from underneath the pirate skirt.

None-the-less, we had a blast!

and update, baby pictures, and another question!

First of all, thanks to all of you who responded to my post about O's nail/toe biting. We did end up buying some stuff to paint on her nails called "Thum". She was doing great, but has now decided it is worth the nasty taste to bite her nails. The dentist gave us some other ideas (hot sauce and honey) and right now just the threat of going back to the dentist to show him her nails is enough to curb her nail biting. There's actually white growing now! We're still having trouble with picking the skin around the nail and toes, but one baby step at a time, right?




Secondly, we got to see baby boy in 3D/4D last week right before our trip to MI. It was so awesome! E and I decided that this new baby boy has A's lips and nose. Too sweet!



We're curious to see what color skin he has. O and A were both born with pale skin. I, however, had dark reddish skin when I was a baby (and a head full of black hair!). E is, to put it nicely, pale. We always thought that the kids would get my skin tone and hair since it seems to be dominant. However, the first two got his skin and hair. Maybe the third one's the charm?

His hand with the cord in the picture. Isn't technology amazing?

The tech said that his feet were on the VERY edge of my uterus. No wonder I was feeling him kick my on my side that day.

Okay, lastly- I need your advice again! You'd think after 3 yrs of being a nanny, 2 years of working in a daycare and 4.5 years of mommy hood would better prepare me. But, alas, we are having horrible HORRIBLE potty issues right now with A.

A has been "fully" potty trained since the end of June (he was peeing on the potty since October of last year, but wouldn't go #2 until June). For the past 1.5 weeks or so, he keeps having "accidents". I put that in quotations because it bothers me to call them that. To me, an accident it "oops, I didn't make it in time" or "oops, I was playing and got too busy to go". Not, going into bathroom and peeing on the floor or hiding somewhere in the house to go poop in his undies. Or, here's today's latest, sitting by his door at nap time and peeing, even though he JUST went 5 minutes before and his door was unlocked (and we let him get up for pee or poop!)

I think this last week, while we were visiting my parents, he went #2 on the potty once. ONCE! So, now that we are home, I need some help! He had an accident at school today, and that has never ever happened! He cannot, at least for my sanity if nothing else, continue in this pattern. He is pushing me close to the edge! Help!

Extreme Home Room Makeover Part I

Here's the bonus room shortly after we moved in January of 2007. Sure, it didn't really look like that after we unpacked and organized. (Really, it hasn't looked like this in well over a year, but you get the idea of paint color, etc.)

The big reveal:

I still need to find some tie backs for the curtains (and, apparently, I need to fix the curtains. E, being thoughtful, accidentally put the curtains on inside out.) We also still need to move the changing table out of A's room (but, that would require finding a new dresser to put all of his clothes in) and find a table to put next to the rocking chair for the lamp.

The hard part is done. Well, besides naming and actually birthing the baby and all.

October is starting off with a bang!

*I was at Target today and I ran into a lady from church. She had her brand, spankin' new baby with her. Her baby had the same due date as my October baby. I hate when I remember stupid things like that.

*I gained a ton of weight at my last OB appointment, failed my 1 hr glucose test (though, thankfully, I passed the 3hr on monday) found out I'm anemic, measured over 4 weeks ahead, and discussed rectal probing with my OB in relation to physical therapy for my tailbone. I also had an interesting talk with my OB about VBAC's and a "big baby". Okay, maybe not interesting. Maybe more frustrating.

*Speaking of my tailbone, it hurts like heck. I fell down the stairs a little over a month ago. Instead of getting better, my tailbone pain is getting worse. Which makes even driving 5 or 10 minutes in the car a painful task. Next week's trip to Michigan should be super fun, don't you think?

*I'm taking a million drugs right now, and I hate it. One for my thyroid, Tylenol for tailbone pain, prescription iron and prenatal, muscle relaxer for said tailbone for night time pain (I was not getting any sleep for a while because of the pain...) and some other meds for the side effects of the iron. Not to mention the occasional benedryl I take for the allergies/stuffy nose I have right now.

*E has been coming home late due to missing work for other things like my glucose test, van registration, selling our other car, fixing things, meeting with people, a class he's taking, etc.

*A has been having a lot of "accidents". I call them that for a lack of a better word. Really, they are more deliberate than anything. Like pooping under the playset while playing "house". Or, having his bum against the toilet while peeing on the tile just to see what sound it will make. Or, yesterday's fun adventure, pooping in his underwear in his bedroom, stripping, then rolling around the in the covers when his door was wide open (and his room is directly next to the bathroom!)

But, there are always good things, too.
*I passed my 3 hr glucose test. Yay!

*I've been getting a LOT of tutu orders. Another yay!

*We have our 4D ultrasound next week! woot!

*We're going to Michigan to visit my parents next week! double woot!

*I'm sleeping better thanks to the muscle relaxer!

*Physical therapy is covered by our insurance. I know it may seem silly to be glad about this, but at this point I'm thinking PT is not even a choice anymore. I HAVE to do it due to the pain I'm in.

*We've been having really nice weather! I love fall here!

So, October is certainly here. Its certainly making an impression so far.

If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Today I had an interesting discussion with some other moms about the popular "country" fridge magnet, sign, or mother's day quote "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy". (Don't get me started on how much I hate it when people say "ain't"...)

Our discussion centered around the idea that we, as mothers, set the tone in our house. Unfortunately, that means if we're tired, grumpy, irritable, impatient, etc our children are likely to mimic the same attitude. I can tell you that our household the last few days has not been one comprised of happy, content, and pleasant people. In fact, we've had lots of fits, lots of screaming, and lots of whining.

During the discussion today, I took a second to really think about the last few days/week. I realised that *I* really haven't been happy, content, or pleasant. Sure, my kids have been a bit under the weather, as have I, but I'm starting to think that if I had a better attitude than maybe the kids would, too. This may not always be the key, but what if it could curb some of the tantrums and power struggles?

Of course, I'm not sitting around throwing fits about wearing tennis shoes instead of flip flops (but, as an adult I get to make my own decision there) and I'm not throwing my food on the floor because I don't want chicken noodle soup. But, I am bursting into tears and yelling when my 3 year old decides to poop on his closet floor or deliberately pee on the tile instead of the toilet (his bum was TOUCHING THE TOILET! totally NOT an accident...) I am yelling at them to stop the yelling. I am more impatient with them. I am, getting irritated at the kids for, well, being kids and running around like crazy people all. day. long.

How do I change the tone in my house? How do I find more patience. Prayer, of course. But, what else? Biting my tongue? Trying to take a breather before I discipline or try to "teach"? Or, maybe just simply trying to have a better attitude about things I'm thinking about?

Whatever the way is, I AM trying to be a happy momma!

To my october due date baby

Happy due date little one! Even though I carry your baby brother around with me in my uterus every day, I carry you around with me every day in my heart.

I love you,
momma

My pumpkins

Asking for advice

It seems that someone in our house has a bad habit. Already, at the ripe ole age of 4.5, O has a habit that she cannot control. Nail biting. Nail nibbling. Nail picking.

She's always had somewhat of an oral fixation. When we took away her pacifier at 11 months, she started chewing on her blanket and her bear (her lovies). When her hair got long enough, she started chewing on that. Somewhere along the years, she started biting her nails. It was a nuisance, but it was normally solved by making sure I cut her nails as often as I could. However, now, some of her nails are almost non-existent.

O has now progressed to chewing her toenails. Disgusting, I know. Definitely something that most parents do not want to admit. However, her little tiny toes are suffering and I MUST speak out in hopes of saving her pinky toenail from destruction! (that, and its really, really, nasty when she wears flip flops all day and then does it. talk about germs. ick!)

So, my call to you is this: help a momma out! Have any of you dealt with this issue? Any advice? any things on the "do not do" list? Help!!

Our new ride

E and I are not the most decisive people when it comes to big decisions or big purchases. Big purchases are hard especially hard when you're handing over cash. We shop around, and around, and around. We get stressed. We get frustrated. We get irritated.

We also get UNdecisive. We waffle. We waver. We get wishy washy. Should we buy the newer van for twice as much, but half as many miles? Should we buy the older van, that costs half as much and is super clean? Save some of our car savings and put it towards a newer/nicer van in a year or two? Its a production that I, honestly, would rather avoid.

In the end, after much discussion and prayer, we are left with nothing but a sense of peace with our latest decision. Peace that surrounded us both after we left the car dealership and headed to a late dinner at McDonald's (where my kids, who were tickled pink, were rewarded for good behavior with their very first happy meals. They've shared one once or twice before, but never got their "own".) We both climbed into the booth, getting ready to dive in to a much belated dinner (after eating lunch much earlier than usual) and let out a collective sigh. A good sigh. One that said "I'm happy with our decision" while at the same time saying "I'm so glad this is over!'

So, now our new-van-owner selves venture onto the next big decision- the baby's name.

A and O getting ready to ride in the van for the first time

Our grandpa-gold van. It, in fact, was owned by a grandpa. Which, turned out to be a HUGE benefit for us. Its super clean, and very well taken care of.