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Thursday, May 7, 2009

More questions than answers

Well, I was fully prepared for two scenarios this morning at my ultrasound.

1. Everything would look great. We'd come back at 8 weeks for another scan.
2. Things wouldn't look good and we'd go home and grieve.

What I wasn't prepared for was: more questions than answers. First of all, I should mention that Dr. H's office is calling me 5w 5d pregnant, and not the 5w 2d (or 3d) pregnant that I calculated. He said their office doesn't go by Last Menstrual Period. He said that they go by your LH surge. Since they know exactly when that was (since I took the trigger and did all of that blood work) they put me at that date.

Dr. H said that between 5.5 weeks and 6 weeks, they expect to see a gestational sac, a yolk sac, and a fetal pole. They saw the first two, which measure right on at 5w 5d, but not the last. See, this stuff developes with in days. So, it could be that we are just a day early. OR, it could mean that the baby is not growing appropriately.

Here's the game plan. We wait. (I've mentioned how NOT patient I am, right?) I had blood work done today to see if my numbers have risen at all since my last draw. If they have, then we wait again until monday to do another scan. if they dropped, well, I'm sure you know the conclusion there.

Just when I thought I was having an "easier" pregnancy this time around. I've just been brought back to my knees, begging God to keep my baby safe.

Before I leave you with too much gloom, I'd just like to take a moment to say this: Since having my children, this is the FIRST ultrasound I have made it to. It still feels like a miracle. Even though I didn't hear a beating heart, and there was no fetal pole, I saw my baby on that screen. Its itty bitty body being formed in my womb. God knows all about my baby right now. He knows if its going to make it, he knows if its a girl or boy, and he knows this child by name. He has formed it in my womb.

Here's a picture of my miracle.




19 comments:

The Workman Family said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
d e v a n said...

I know it wasn't the best news, but I think it's still good! I bet it's just a bit too early still, and I'm glad you get another u/s on Monday. ((hug)) By then maybe you'll be able to see a heartbeat.
Do you get the results of your bw today?

Jenny said...

I'm praying for you. I really think it's just a bit too early. Good luck with your blood work and I hope Monday comes fast!

Melissa said...

It's okay, Tracy! Like you said -- it happens in like a day! So it will be there tomorrow. Or the next day. It will be there. You made it to your u/s and I'm sending tons of prayers that you'll be making it to the full 9 months, too! :)

Lisa said...

Praying for this sweet baby. Like you said, at this early in the game things change within hours and minutes. The miracle of life.

Angela said...

Hi! I found your blog through His Will Wednesday, and I've been checking all morning for news.

I will keep you in my prayers as you go through this, and I will pray that all will turn out great.

Rebekah said...

I just found your blog through baby April's blog. I am praying for you now. I know that it is terable to have to wait on such news. I am excited to see that there was a sack, thats very good news. When I had my miscarrage, they couldnt find anything on there and I was about as far along as you are. So this is great news. Let us know about the numbers. :)

Jenny said...

You may have seen this site before, but the stories on it are amazing:

http://www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com/

Adelas said...

(also found you through april rose)

I know that my story doesn't mean yours will match, but I had a similar ultrasound with the baby I am carrying. Because I realized I was pregnant very early on, my first ultrasound was, like yours, at about 5 weeks (I thought it could have been less, actually).

Even knowing how early it was, after seeing the pictures with only one lump (sac) and not two and no heartbeat apparent, the doctor sat me down and basically explained that it may be in the process of miscarrying and not forming and prepared me for a miscarriage.

Two weeks later, we saw a recognizable 7 weeker with a healthy heartbeat. It just needed the extra time.

Praying for an easy answer for you, too.

Charis said...

I know how hard this is. With my last pregnancy I went in for my first ultrasound at 5 weeks but was not able to see a yolk sac or a fetal pole, two days later we were able to see a yolk sac and 2 days after that we finally saw the fetal pole. So don't give up, still praying in Texas.

Just an ordinary woman said...

I know how hard it is.... and I know that it could have gone better, but it could have gone a whole lot worse.. and you made it to your ultrasound..

And, since the last time I commented on your blog, you are a whole lot more pregnant now than you were then.. and by the time you read this, you will be a whole lot more pregnant than when I wrote it!

Praying for you - and little squirt.. only 240 days to go!!!

Erica said...

Hi there! I found you from April's site. I'm praying for you. :) I know what it's like to wait and try not to worry. :) Hang in there! God has a plan!

Dan & Hillary and little Russell said...

Tracy- with hcg betas like yours, there is no way it is a blighted ovum. B/O betas are low and don't double, if barely (like mine had). There is a baby in there- it's just giving you a hard time;-) Hang in there:-)

Barbara Schantz said...

Hi Tracy. I happened upon your Twitter account in a roundabout kind of way and it led me here. You know I've been there many times myself, so I'm sending you the best pg vibes I can. Dr. H and staff are so very good.

T- said...

I think it is too early, too! I am praying that is the case! You know you are in my prayers anyways, but this is going to continue to be your little miracle!

Heather said...

I am w/the rest in thinking it's too early still. I will be praying for you and this sweet baby. ((HUGS))

Jen said...

I had something similar happen at an early ultrasound--so I'm praying that the end result of yours will be like mine...precious, healthy baby!

dragonflyz in June said...

You are so right, God knows your babe, in every way, trusting in Him is the only way! Your little miracle is perfect! Love the first pictures and I am looking forward to seeing many, many, MANY more!! You and your baby are in my prayers!
God Bless`

Nicole said...

congratulations!the pictures are beautiful. keep your head up!