Friday, May 8, 2009

A picture makes it real

I don't know what it is, but I can't stop looking at my ultrasound from yesterday. I realize that there's not an embryo visible, yet. But, looking at my tiny little gestational sac and yolk sac make it so much more real to me.

The reason is this: With all of my miscarriages, I never made it to an ultrasound, never saw my baby on the screen, never saw any sacs, never saw any physical evidence that my babies existed. I remember feeling weird that I had kept my old pregnancy tests (one from each m/c baby). But, it was my only "proof" that I was pregnant. It was my only physical element for me to say "I had a baby inside of my womb".

So, this gestational sac and yolk sac on my ultrasound is just beautiful. It may not be what the dr.'s want it to be right now, but its a sight for sore eyes. Regardless of what happens, I'll have this picture to hold onto. I'll have this tiny glimpse of my baby.

For that, I'm so thankful.


Erin Hingley said...

I think your baby is beautiful too. Continuing to pray for you and baby!

T- said...

Gorgeous little baby bean!

Jenny said...

I agree, it is a beautiful picture!

Chell said...

I bet you are floating on cloud 9 right now! What a great pic! Congrats on making it this far!

Heather said...

very sweet! I still look at my u/s pics! It amazes me every single time.

our family said...

Just wanted to let you know that I am praying for your during this time. Praying for peace and hope in your heart. Praying for you to enjoy each and every moment with this precious baby no matter what the future holds.
I have had 7 unexplained miscarriages, four before having children, then my first miracle Rose was born (now 4 1/2) then another miscarriage, then Pearl now 2 1/2 was born, then two more miscarriages and I am now 34 weeks pregnant with my third miracle baby. don't give up hope God is faithful and when you have that sweet baby you will appreciate him/her in a special way that only mommies that have struggled understand the preciousness of life. Praying that God grants you your miracle in this little life growing inside your womb now. Praying you are able to enjoy each step of your pregnancy and rest in Him.
Hugs and Prayers
Rachel in PA

buddhaowen said...

I just found your blog through the "Little One April" blog, and I wanted to share and let you know that my family and I will be thinking of you and praying for you in the months to come!! Also, I am so sorry for your losses! I am glad that now you are able to find some joy and celebration in the midst of the morning sickness (which SOOOOOOOO is not limited to the morning-what a cruel joke!!!) BECAUSE of the morning sickness (and many other fun pregnancy symptoms :)! Thank you for sharing your story with the world! It takes phenomenal courage and vulnerability to share-with strangers no less! Texas and Washington AND North Carolina (well, probably not the entire states. I don't know that many people. But I'm sure you catch my drift) will be praying for you and your precious family for the journey ahead!! And what a beautiful ultrasound!!!

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