Wednesday, October 1, 2008

3 years, a year lost to loss

It occured to me this morning that if we got pregnant this month (and we kept it, which there is a huge chance that I wouldn't) that Austin and the next baby would be over 3 years apart.

Eric and I, when "planning" our family always wanted the kids closer together in age. Its crazy to think that the age difference between Austin and the next child will be almost double (or double depending on if we ever get to keep a baby) the age difference between Olivia and Austin. Its weird.

I guess it it just hit me this morning and it made me a little sad. Plans are plans. Just that. They aren't the past, they aren't the future. Plans are just the way I wanted it to be.


HellcatJill said...

I know what you mean about the planning. (hug)

When I was so frustrated before Logan came along, wondering why none of my plans to have a baby as a "young mother" and before such and such age, etc. were working out, I came across the bible verses James 4:13-17. Very humbling.

I'll be praying for you, Tracy, that God will see fit to bless you with another baby very soon! ((hugs))

Amanda said...

That's so hard... we have these plans for our families and then we realize that we sometimes have very little control of the situation. It's really difficult to let go of those plans and get excited about new ones... especially when you're dealing with something so difficult as fertility issues.