I have just been thinking how wonderful it is to have great friends. Its funny to me how friendships evolve. There are people who I don't really like or get along with at first. Maybe they rub me the wrong way, or their personalities are too different from mine. But, as I get to know them, they almost start to grow on me. Then, before you know it, I actually love them.
A particular friend like that has been a super big help to me lately with all of the m/c stuff. She lost her first husband,suddenly, while they were trying to get pregnant. She told me that she hated the sight of pregnant people. Hated walking into a mall and seeing them with their big bellies. (Thankfully, for me, seeing women who are much farther along don't bother me. Its the announcing that does it for me.) She also lost a baby a few months ago as well.
The greatest thing about this friend is that she gets it. I was rather quiet at a birthday party (for her daughter) the other day. She pulled me aside and simply said "whatever you're feeling, I can guarantee its normal. You may feel bad for feeling angry, but its completely normal. You're feelings are completely normal."
Sometimes, you just need to hear that you're normal. Sometimes the worst part about all of it is feeling bad for being mad instead of happy for others. Feeling like saying "hey, that should be MINE!" instead of "congratulations!" Sometimes I just feel like an awful person for thinking like that. Its so immature and not who I want to be. But, it also makes me feel so alone. Who wants to admit things like that to friends? Not many would understand or get it.
I'm glad to have her as a friend. She gets my "normal".