Thursday, October 2, 2008


"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see..." Hebrews 11:1

This verse used to be a comfort to me. Almost confirming my faith. However, during the process of my grieving, I went back and reread this passage. On the outset, it looks great. Sure, faith is what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Fabulous!

However, if you go on to read, the passage actually talks about how the great men of faith never saw what they hoped for or had faith in! This is what gets me! Abraham NEVER saw his "great nation". He just had to have faith that it would happen someday. I know from other scriptures in the bible that he doubted. Ishmael was proof that he tried to take things into his own hands. But, yet, the bible describes him as a great man of faith. What made him a man of faith? What qualities did he have?

I guess I've just been really thinking about the "faith" issue a lot. When I was in limbo with my last baby, not knowing if I was going to miscarry or if the baby was going to make it, I really felt like God was saying "have faith. its going to be okay". Its hard to understand why God told me that, when I obviously don't feel okay. Sure, life moves on. I don't sit and cry all of the time, and I still laugh, have fun, and do daily things. So, I guess, I AM okay. But, what I was supposed to have faith about didn't turn out okay. We still lost our baby.

My dad told me once that adversity and trials make us mature in our faith. Not to say that that is the reason for our trials, but that is what comes out of them. I guess its true. I can't say that I've ever really examined what faith really means until now. So I guess that's growth for you.

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