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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Way back Whensday, (plus sad news, good news, and MORE!)

First, let me start off with my way back whensday post (I promise that I'll give you what you're looking for here in a minute!)

My friend Raechel, who is a chatty (or wordy, in the blog world) kind of person thought that it was too difficult to post a Silent Sunday or Wordless Wednesday. So, she came up with the idea of Way Back Whensday. Its a chance to show off fun old pictures, but with words!

So, Here I go! Senior picture day!

This was actually my favorite of all of my senior pictures. Sepia was just starting to become "popular" and I had never seen anyone's senior pictures with that effect. Black and White, yes. Sepia- no. (keep in mind that this was 1999- the summer before my senior year.)




I look so young, and skinny!
I about died when the photographer wanted me to be "serious". If you know me, I tend to NOT be serious.

Lastly- here's a cheerleading picture from my senior year. I include it because it reminds me of something. I broke my foot in November of 1999. Right before my ACTs, my school musical, (in which I had a major role) and my cheerleading pictures. If you look closely, you can see my cast on my left foot (the one facing the camera). Ah, good times.




I'll start with the sad news, now. Today is a due date. A due date of one of my miscarriage babies. Those due date deals are so difficult. Really, they are. Even though I'm pregnant again, I still miss that baby that was due today. I'll always miss him/her. We love you and miss you, little one!







Now, the GOOD news, I'm elated with the information that Dr. H called with. My beta hcg was 600 today! (woot, woot!) Almost triple what it was on Monday! They said that everything is looking GREAT and that I don't have to go back in until Monday morning. Yay! YAY!

I'm ecstatic, elated, delighted, tickled pink, happy, and hopeful. But, at the same time, there's this lingering fear that something will still happen. I've never made it past 5 weeks with my other babies (minus my two living children, of course) and I'm not there yet. There's this fear that still lingers, tempting me to give in and give up my joy. But, I will hold onto the promise that God has given me. He will give me the peace I need.

21 comments:

Dan & Hillary and little Russell said...

I don't know if the worry ever goes away. I still check the toilet paper and I'm now 14weeks.

We're celebrating here in California for you!!

d e v a n said...

It must be hard to be hopeful, but I think those numbers are a great start!!!! Congrats!

Anne said...

Thinking of you on your due date. I know how hard these anniversaries are. It has gotten to the point where I refuse to find out my due dates because I can't stand a calendar dotted with black days. I keep the memory of my first due date and always have some kind of private remembrance for all of my lost ones on that one day...

Erin Hingley said...

Prayerful for you and this baby, Tracey. God bless!

Erin in va
youmeandwipee.blogspot.com

Lisa said...

YEAH
YEAH
YEAH!

Continued prayers and know that your angels are watching over their baby sibling!

sarah said...

I found your weblog via your prayer request at Little April Rose. I'm praying for your pregnancy. I wonder if anyone has advised you to take half an aspirin a day to help prevent miscarriage. This is some advice I was given, and it is apparently very helpful.

Those anniversaries are hard, so hard. Many blessings to you.

our family said...

I just found your blog through April Rose's mommy's blog. Just wanted to let you know I am praying for you and for this precious child in your womb. I know the pain and fear you are experiencing. I have had 7 miscarriages, (four in 12 months before having children, one between my first and second child and 2 after my second child). I am blessed with three miracle babies, Rose is 4 1/2, Pearl is 2 1/2 and I am 33 weeks pregnant with my third girl. Just wanted to encourage you that this little one in your womb right now does have a chance. I know how frightening each lab result and ultrasound can be at this point and pray for you to have peace and enjoy each day of this pregnancy. Praying that this is your little miracle baby. Praying for you on your due date of one of your beloved missed babies.
Hugs and Prayers
Rachel in PA

Heather said...

hugs to you on this day. Those are great pics.

I am so stinkin' happy for you. Congrats!

Lindsey said...

I have had some trouble with miscarriages myself. (including one ectopic). I have been going to a high-risk OB/GYN and he prescribes progesterone for me for the first 14 weeks. I have to begin using it as soon as I find out that I am pregnant. This may be something you already do. I am just visiting over from Little April Rose blog and thought I would share. You have a very beautiful family! Good luck!

Susan said...

That's great news!

4cunninghams said...

I followed the link from Raechel's site. Excellent senior pictures! I love way back whensday!

I can't imagine how difficult today must be for you, but I'll say a prayer for your newest little one!

Kristi J said...

I'm stopping in to say hi and let you know I am praying for you. Your story struck me especially because I too have had numerous miscarriages (eight) and it has been a long and difficult road since we began building our family. I am so thankful that God has blessed us with four children that I was able to carry to term, along with my eight angels I hold in my heart and long to see one day.

I know especially the mix of fear and joy you are feeling now as you celebrate a new pregnancy. I hope and pray this little bean sticks and you will welcome your newest little babe in around eight months!

God bless!

Amy B said...

Oh I read your blog and I FEEL your words. I had a total of 5 MC's. It never gets easier. But in the end when you end up blessed with that baby..it is all worth it..huh?
I was curious if you are doing any type of treatments..baby asprin, projestrine, or blood thinners. Just curious...cause I have been there myself. If you need to talk..email me..amyb1569@cfl.rr.com

Charis said...

I am also struggling with recurrent miscarriages. I have 2 beautiful girls and since then have had 3 miscarriages 8 weeks, 16weeks, and 10 weeks. I will continue checking in on your blog and praying for your pregnancy.

Jenny said...

You are adorable! I graduated in 1998.

Congrats on your pregnancy and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for a healthy pregnancy.

Missew said...

Passing through from H.W.W. Praying you can carry your baby to term, and for peace in your heart. If you haven't had your thyroid tested you should. It can contribute to miscarriages. Wishing you the best!

Just an ordinary woman said...

Hi there,

This is my first time to your blog, I found it through April Rose!

I am mother to two fabulous boys, Caleb is 3 and Daniel is 6-months. I lost 3 babies - two in the first trimester and one in the second.. I understand your pain.. and your fear..

I just want you to know (as I am sure you already do) that the longing and sadness over your lost babies will never go away.. espcially on "special" days..

I am thinking of you today and of your lost wee one!

And I congratulate you on your new pregnancy and look forward to reading your updates as I am your newest follower!

Kerren
South Africa

Jess said...

Hi! I've been through this too - and would like to send you an e-mail. Please send me a note at jlr846@yahoo.com if you would like to correspond a little - after 6 miscarriages I turned to something a little different to help keep a pregnancy - should God chose that path for me!

dragonflyz in June said...

Congratulations!! I have just stumbled across your blog and my heart aches for you. I, too, have had miscarriages, though not as many as you. I met my husband later in life, therefore we didn't start trying until I was 30. In one year, I had two pregnancies and two miscarriages. It is just about one of the hardest things that I have ever gone through, though I know that it is nothing compared to women who have had more than I have, or women who lose their babies later in pregnancy, or even at birth..it is still a loss and still hard. My first due date was March 8, 2008, we lost her (we guessed it would have been a girl) at 11weeks and named her Caylin Jean. Our second was August 8, 2008 and lost him at about 8 weeks, naming him Terrance Christian. I became pregnant again and this time I spent the entire pregnancy on bedrest (pretty well) but we now have a happy, healthy 3.5month old boy, Jonah Terrance. Keep the faith, in God's time, you will have your hearts' desire. Their due dates were hard, knowing that had I not lost them, they would be being born or already here...I will remember them always.

Candra said...

I came across your blog thru HWW. Congrats that your numbers are climbing, thats great to hear. I will pray that things continue to go great and you deliver this healthy baby! I have a healthy 2 1/2 year old son but have lost 2 in the past year. Its horrible. I couldnt make it past 6 weeks with either of mine. I could go on and on here but I wont. I just wanted to say Congrats and my thoughts and prayers will be with you. If you would like to an invite to my blog, send me your email. I always feel bad being able to read someones blog (that i can relate to and that i comment on) and then they cant see mine in return. I will put my email in a seperate comment that I will delete later. Take Care.

Candra said...
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