That's how I felt last night. You know when you think you're giving someone a really great gift, you get all excited about giving it to them. You think you are doing such a cool thing, they;re going to love it, etc. Then they end up giving you a gift that is about 10 times BETTER than you gave? you end up feeling like a schmuck, but then feel really blessed. Do you know the feeling?
Well, I took some of Olivia's unused old clothes (or ones that still don't fit in the waist) to a friend. She has to little kids, 10 mths apart (that, alone, makes me feel blessed that mine are only 16 mths apart instead of 10) A little girl who is almost 2, and a little boy who is 1. I thought I was being nice, giving some things that I was going to keep for the next child. Cute things. A new pair of jeans that Olivia will probably never fit into in the waist before she outgrows the length, jammies that she's still wears but just barely fits, etc. Anyway, I was just giving her what I COULD give, since Olivia is in the same size as her almost-2-year old.
I was feeling like I was going to bless her with these clothes. Little did I know that I was going to get an even bigger blessing. Turns out, her and her husband are finished having children. They were looking to get rid of some car seats, strollers, swings, bouncy seats, etc. they basically had two of everything- since her oldest was still a baby when the second came along. We got to talking and she offered me her stroller/car seat combo. (I mentioned that we had to get rid of our car seat because it expired and the stroller had long been recalled and was now scrap parts somewhere) I thought it was going to be older, used, perhaps by someone other than her. But, we don't have it and I thought "what they hey" and said we'd take it.
Well, I was blessed. Its less than 2 yrs old. A Graco, and is really uber cool colors (teal-ish blue and brown!) It looks brand new, hardly used at all. The entire drive home I just couldn't get over the feeling of being loved. By her and by God. Just feeling like maybe I would someday actually have a baby to put in this car seat sitting beside me. I started to feel a little hope that things would work out okay. I'm loved.