Its inevitable that someone close to me (either physical proximity or relationship wise) has to be pregnant and due around the same time as a m/c baby. Always. For my April 08 baby, it was a close friend. For my February 09 baby, its two of my neighbors. For my April baby, its a co-worker. Now, for my October 09 baby, its a long-time family friend.
This, to me, is one of the hardest parts about RPL. Not only do I have to go through my initial pain/loss, I have to watch friends and family get pregnant, stay pregnant, and have a baby at the same time that I should be (All the while, I still can't stay pregnant.) I have to watch on the sidelines, with out a baby to hold- either inside or outside of my womb.
I'm just so confused as to what God's plan is here. I really, really don't "get it". Maybe I'll have this awesome testimony that I can share with others, but right now, I feel hopeless. (I've actually talked to E about selling some of our baby gear. I'm just not confident that we'll have a little one before that stuff is obsolete.) I just wish that God would fill me in a bit. Flip forward in my "book" that is my life to let me know bits and pieces of how it ends. Just to give me something to hold onto.