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Friday, January 23, 2009

Its never easy

So- I just got my results back.

8.5



Basically, the nurse said this can go either way (as I well know). I am indeed pregnant. However, my numbers are barely there. Progesterone was great, 24. All other levels were good, too. But that darn hcg level just doesn't want to work with us. Which is why the test was so light.

The nurse said its good that the progesterone is high: it means my body is trying to support this pregnancy.

I just have this horrible sinking feeling. I'm already starting to grieve because I can feel what's coming. The lighter, then darker, then lighter tests (the one from this morning was lighter than yesterday afternoon's) make me believe that this pregnancy has already ended.

The nurse said if this goes south, it will do so over the weekend. She doubted I'd start bleeding yet, since my progesterone is still quite high. But, if I do, I need to call them. *sigh*

If, by some miracle, this baby kicks it into gear on Monday, Dr. H will be putting me on some type of shot. I forget the name right now. But, I guess its a medicine that you have to stick with. Once you go on it, you can't come off of it until the second trimester. They want to make sure the baby is viable first.

Here I am again. In this same position I've been so many times now. Waiting on God to do something miraculous.

17 comments:

Amanda said...

PIO shots are what we did to support our pregnancies... and you have to stay on them until the end of first trimester. I wonder if that's it.

Has your RE ever suggested an HCG booster?- to be given prior to a positive pregnancy test... I think typically a week after the first HCG shot.

Tracy said...

no, he hasn't talked about that, Amanda. I will have to bring that up.

d e v a n said...

I was hoping for a higher number for you. I know it's not what you were hoping for either, but I'm still praying for you. So, they're retesting on Monday?

Steph said...

Still crossing my fingers and praying for you. Hopefully it's just a late implanter and your number will be sky high next week. {{{hugs}}}

Susan said...

The tough thing about the position you're in is that you *know* all of this stuff. You got your positive at 12DPO--when you might not have even tested yet under different circumstances. And you know your HCG count--I've never *known* my HCG level, so I've never been able to worry about it, you know? I totally feel for you--sometimes it's harder *having* all this information.

I was looking at your chart, though, and I think it's encouraging that you got a negative test on CD 26--it makes me think it's unlikely that on CD28 (is that when you had the blood draw?) your 8.5 was on its way *down* (otherwise, theoretically, it would have been higher on day 26, and you would have gotten a positive HPT).

Also, remember that the HCG levels in your urine fluctuate with things like how recently you've peed and how much you've had to drink.

I, for one, am feeling optimistic. I'll be thinking of you and watching for updates!

Tracy said...

D- yeah, they're retesting monday.

Tracy said...

Thanks for the prayers, Girls!

Susan- thanks. I know that its much harder to *know* what's going on. I'd much rather go back to the days of "oh, my period's late" take a test and bam- baby 9 mths later. I'm glad that you are hopeful, because God knows I need hope from somewhere. I just feel so drained from all of this back and forth stuff.

Lisa said...

BIG prayers!!

Melanie said...

Thinking of you, Tracy, and still praying hard. *hugs*

Dan & Hillary and little Russell said...

I hope this is a miracle baby for you. The first time I had an hcg test and it was only 6, I thought my RE was joking me.

T- said...

Praying for stickyyyyyyyyy

Kelli said...

I've got everything crossed, Tracy! It's time for your miracle. xo

theresa said...

Thinking of you. I know it's tough. The super early testing is so hard--most tests don't register hcg under a 50 so that's generally why they say to wait until you've missed a period. I had a chemical pregnancy last month. I hope your numbers go up!

Tracy said...

Theresa- technically, yesterday was supposed to be the first day of my period. That's why they decided to go ahead and do blood work that day (and not today- the first day of my MISSED period- since they are closed). It was just a coincidence that I got a positive the day before. I'm sorry about your chemical pregnancy. All pregnancy loss sucks.

theresa said...

For the first day of my period (Monday) I was a 22 but the ultrasound showed no sac, so it never made it past implantation. I had a positive on a digital the Friday before but by Monday it was very faint. I think it's a good sign that your 8.5 is registering since the tests and I'm keeping all my bits crossed for you.

d e v a n said...

I hope you're feeling good today. I'm thinking about you. I really don't know what else to say but I'm praying for you. I have a really strong feeling about this baby!

Raechel said...

Hey Tracy - just checking in. I have been praying for you on and off yesterday and today.

You said you're waiting for God to do something miraculous - don't forget that he already has! That little life is a miracle, no matter how long it lasts.

My advice? Go out with the family and celebrate it's newest member! Don't worry about what tomorrow holds - praise God for his miracle today!

(I hope this doesn't come across as insensitive. It's just what Ry and I do every time we get pregnant. We go out for a celebration meal. Out of the six times, we've only gotten one healthy baby, but the other five were all worth celebrating too.)

Love you.
Rae