background

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Its over

There's always that tiny little secret hope in the back of my head: maybe they're wrong. There's still a chance for a miracle.

Nope. Its done now. I woke up around 3 am with horrible cramps. Quickly followed by lots of bleeding and clots. I'm pretty drugged up right now, but could stand something stronger even.

Want to know what is really, really weird? I just looked back on my pregnancy cycles. Each pregnancy ended at CD 36. Every single one that I charted for! No matter what day I ovulated, I started bleeding the same day each pregnancy. How is this not related to SOMETHING? 4 pregnancies that end on the exact same cycle day...

Well, I have to get moving. We have to facilitate financial peace again. I don't really want to go, but I'm hoping it'll take my mind off stuff for a little while. Know one there knows anything that's going on, so I won't have to talk about it.

6 comments:

theresa said...

I'm sorry, Tracy.

With my last chem pg it took 4 weeks for my numbers to get down to 0 and they were talking about a D&C. I'm glad you won't have to go through weeks of testing and surgery. I hope your body and heart heal quickly.

Lisa said...

You might be onto something with your theory. I hope and pray that you find some answers.

d e v a n said...

I'm sorry Tracy. I would definitely ask your Dr about that day 36 thing. Let me know if you need anything. ((hug))

T- said...

I am so sorry for your loss, Tracy. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Melissa said...

Lots of hugs and prayers for answers and healing.

Raechel said...

I'm so sorry, friend. You have been in my prayers and will continue to be. I wish I could do something to help. -R