background

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Out

Pretty sure I am out for the month. *sigh* My temperature dropped this morning, and I'm crampy. The last few days, I was pretty sure that I was out, but I was still holding onto hope. I guess that explains why I had a backache yesterday and why I was so irritable (see last post to revel it in all of its glory!)

I'm not sure what to think, honestly. I'm sad, hurt, confused. I have to admit, not getting pregnant is a tiny bit better than being pregnant and losing it, but it still sucks rocks. Really. Sucks. Rocks.

I'm just so confused as to what God's plan is. It just doesn't make any sense to me. I realize that most of the time, we don't know what his plan is and things reveal themselves in time. But, I'm so tired of waiting. Sometimes I feel like God has just forgotten about me. I KNOW that it isn't true, but its so hard to FEEL differently.

I've been listening to this song a lot lately:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BX888N13Ck&feature=related

5 comments:

Lisa said...

(((hugs))) I am so sorry T!

I think what hurts the most is the uncertainty ... not knowing if you'll ever have another baby. If we knew for certain that another baby was in our future, the wait wouldn't be so bad.

T- said...

(((hugs)))

You'll get your turn soon! i just know it.

d e v a n said...

Man. That does suck. I'm still praying for you, but I understand how you must feel and I'm really sorry.

HellcatJill said...

I think Lisa is right. The worst part is the not knowing. Many ((hugs)) to you, Tracy. I'll still be praying for you. I'm not counting you out quite yet. ;)

Mama2Boys said...

(((hugs)))